Sold My Soul For A Heart of Gold

i’d like to thank my favorite coping mechanism, masturbation,

Caleb, after describing everybody’s rooms full of emotional tie-backs: and for Beauregard, my truest friend, who is strong of heart and has, statistically, fucked more than any of us,

It is increasingly obvious that most people have no idea how to indicate an illness is slowly killing someone without making them cough up blood. Doesn’t matter what it is or if it has anything to do with your respiratory system, if you’re dying, you’re coughing up blood.

Writers found out about tuberculosis and were like “damn this slaps” and we’ve been stuck with it ever since

oh my god two words in that just UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE

All hope is lost so quickly I can’t stop laughing.

danish tv is the best thing ever

“Okay :(”

He went straight to Acceptance. He didn’t even go through the five stages of grief. He just started at Acceptance.

I’m working under the theory that he’s able to remain so calm because… it’s not his vehicle. 

mfw poser “punks” gatekeep being alternative because you don’t agree with their politics 🥺

This post is so Christian, but it’s the spicy kind of Christian that gets you murdered by other Christians for heresy, so I’m torn.

literally biggest form of compliment i’ve ever gotten

You guys really need to read Christopher Moore’s Lamb, if you haven’t.

Always reblog Cryptid Jesus

I love that you guys used their actual names

I did not consider Eldritch Baby Jesus.

This is such a millennial/gen x mood holy fuck

Honestly? Same

this is what the inside of my brain look like 

By the time I actually experience mutual love/romance it’s going to send me into shock and fucking kill me

he fits *sobbing*

I hate the whole backlash like ‘you say touch starved but you actually just mean horny’ NO I mean when I was getting my hair cut there was a moment where the hairdresser tilted my head to the side and the top of my head brushed his chest and my brain short circuited with endorphins because it thought I was being held