accurate as fucking hell

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Not today Justin

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@novemberhour
accurate as fucking hell

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Joan Crawford in Possessed (1931)
82 years later and it’s still relevant
This will never not be relevant.
82 years and we still have to fucking tell men this shit
I do hope that one day we don’t have to keep telling this to people
This is your Sunday evening reminder that you can handle whatever this week throws at you. Even if school, work or general life isn’t okay, you’ll get through it because you are damn strong and amazing.
hey molly i'm having a slow day and i was wondering if you were in the mood to tell another story because literally i have not laughed as hard at anybody else's anecdotes on this entire goddamn site and it would be pretty rad
when i lived in spain, i worked as a “bartender” in madrid. i put “bartender” in quotation marks because my boss fernando trusted me with literally nothing but cleaning glasses and occasionally a CLOSELY SUPERVISED mojito. the bar was called “la chocita sueca,” which basically means “the swedish hut,” but can also, as far as i can tell, mean something VERY DIFFERENT and vERY RUDE.
this led to a lot of general confusion from the patrons, who were always wondering whether i (the only super, super white person) was The Swede.
"THIS BAR IS NOT NAMED AFTER ME," i would shout, trying to be heard above the music and the huge portrait of elvis that hung behind the bar. "I AM LITERALLY JUST HERE TO WASH DISHES AND MAKE TERRIBLE MOJITOS."
"OK BUT ARE YOU SWEDISH?" they would ask me. "LIKE ARE YOU SWEDISH, THOUGH?"
"nO."
"ARE YOU SURE?"
"VERY SURE."
"YOU LOOK SWEDISH."
"I UNDERSTAND, BUT I AM NOT SWEDISH."
"NOT EVEN A LITTLE SWEDISH?"
"NOT EVEN A LITTLE SWEDISH. AS I HAVE SAID."
“BUT YOUR EYES ARE VERY BLUE?”
"I AM NOT FUCKING SWEDISH!!!!!!!!"
at which point fernando would sweep in and say soothingly, “shhh, it’s okay. why don’t you go wipe down the vomit on the bar??”
rinse. rather. repeat.
anyway, on weeknights when the bar wasn’t busy, fernando always let me come in and talk to him and learn how to make drinks. as someone who hates hard liquor, i was very bad at it. my entire repertoire is a mimosa and a tequila sunrise. in my defense, fernando was aware of this going in. the entire hiring process went:
ME: can i work here?FERNANDO: do you know how to make alcoholic beverages in exchange for money?ME: no.FERNANDO: come on wednesday.
so one day, my roommate bryan takes me out for a delicious fancy dinner, along with his little brother and his little brothers three friends, who were all visiting and sleeping on our floor. on the walk home i noticed that we were going to pass by la chocita (which was about a 5 minute walk from my house). so i separated from bryan and the boys to drop in and say hello to my old friend fernando.
it’s a tuesday at 9:30p.m. so the bar was naturally empty, and fernando was just chillin’ with the elvis picture and the human-sized statue of liberty replica.
"maya!!" he said. he called me maya, as did most of my friends in madrid, because it was easier and because i hate the way "molly" sounds when it is breaking up a spanish sentence. "molly" in any language that isn’t english literally sounds like a fart on a first date.
"molly" when said in an english sentence: what a cute, rosy-cheeked young lady, probably looking to cuddle a dog and have a good laugh!!
"molly" when said in literally any other language: WHAT IS THIS GROSS PIECE OF WOOD IN MY MOUTH?? IT TASTES OF TODDLERS AND THE ASHES OF YOUTHFUL DREAMS.
so in i pop, and there is fernando, who immediately sets to telling me all about his son and how handsome he is and how he’s about my age and fernando’s not saying anything but he’s JUST SAYING—
"here, have some of this," fernando said, and handed me a glass of kalimotxo.
WHAT IS KALIMOTXO, you ask? PRETTY EASY:
1. get some cheap-ass wine, like hella cheap, like the CHEAPEST WINE YOU CAN FIND, PROBABLY IN A BOX, PROBABLY CALLED “CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP WINE FOR POOR COLLEGE STUDENTS.”
2. get some diet coke.
3. get some ice
4. combine.
5. “WHAT IS HAPPENING????” - your body, horrified and delighted.
"idk, fernando," i said. "it’s a tuesday? i have class tomorrow?"
"WHO EVER GOT DRUNK ON A LITTLE KALIMOXTO," fernando said.
i took the drink.
"WHAT IS HAPPENING????" - my body, horrified and delighted.
"try this, too," fernando told me after a moment, pushing a bright green glass in my direction. "it’s new. i’m trying it out."
"idk, fernando," i said. "it’s a tuesday? i have class tomorrow?"
"WHO EVER GOT DRUNK ON A LITTLE BRIGHT GREEN BOOZE?" fernando said.
i took the drink.
"THIS IS DANCING A SAMBA IN MY MOUTH!!" - my actual words to my actual boss.
"wait wait, try this one," fernando added, now pushing a tiny shot glass toward me with gold-colored liquid and sugar at the bottom.
"idk, fernando," i said. "it’s a tuesday? my lips are tingly?"
"WHO EVER GOT TINGLY LIPS FROM A LITTLE GOLD-COLORED LIQUID WITH SUGAR AT THE BOTTOM?" fernando said.
i took the drink.
"it tastes like i already regret it!!!" - me, giving the statue of liberty replica a kiss.
"I FUCKING LOVE YOUR BAR NUTS," i said. "THEY’RE THE BEST BAR NUTS I HAVE EVER HAD. CAN I HAVE A POUND OF THEM?"
"okay," fernando said, and handed me a bag of bar nuts as big as my torso. it was very heavy. it was a tuesday at about 11p.m. and i opened the bag, dipped my hand in, and shoved a whole handful into my mouth.
IN MY DEFENSE: these were the best bar nuts in the world.
i stand by that.
"you should go home," fernando told me, looking suddenly doubtful. "you have class on wednesday."
"WHO EVER HEARD OF CLASS ON A WEDNESDAY?" i said. "GIVE ME SOME MORE OF THE TINGLY LIPS STUFF." it was probably hard to hear me around the bar nuts.
fernando, now very alarmed, called me a taxi. i should remind you that my apartment was a five minute walk from the bar, but with my hands full of a full 3-lb bag of bar nuts that i refused to give back and a my fist closed tightly around the neck of a bottle of tinto de verano, there was really no way i was going to make it that far.
"where to?" the taxista asked. i gave him my address. he blinked at me. "that’s… right there," he said, and pointed.
"yes," i agreed, taking another mouthful of bar nuts.
"we can see it," the taxista said.
"yes," i agreed again. "would you like some bar nuts?"
"….no," the taxista said, and pulled forward toward my apartment, glancing nervously back at the chipmonked motherfucker doublefisting bar nuts and dessert wine in the back of his cab on a tuesday.
"DID YOU KNOW," i said, "I AM NOT AT ALL SWEDISH?"
"okay," the taxista said. "we’re here."
i don’t remember what happened after that, but in the morning i woke up to the following three surprises:
the tinto de verano was nowhere to be found. nowhere. did i give it to the taxista???? did i leave it on the stairs???? HAD THERE EVER BEEN A BOTTLE AT ALL???? WHO PUT SEVEN LEMONS IN MY FRIDGE?
i was wearing socks on my hands.
i woke up to bryan’s brother and his three friends asking loudly, “why the hell are there nuts everywhere?”
"NO REASON," i said.

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Me at half the things people say.
More 3/4 of the things rly
The frightening thing is that, like most of their other campaigns against women, they see themselves as just warriors fighting for what’s right. This is primarily because they firmly believe that any woman who speaks up on women’s issues is completely disingenuous and only doing it for the purposes of self-promotion, and that any man who does is looking to get laid, because they actually cannot possibly imagine a scenario in which someone would genuinely give a shit about women. Members of this board, as well as “Men’s Rights Activists” in general, tend to go apoplectic at even the most mild implications that women might be human beings. For them, this is simply “not allowed” and must be punished swiftly and severely, as they appear to believe that feminism is the one obstacle in the way of all these pathetic neckbeards getting their pick of supermodel girlfriends who obey their every whim. The goal is to make it as uncomfortable to speak out about misogyny and women’s issues as possible, which is why they go to the wall in terms of harassing women like Emma Watson. At the end of the day, this is the crux of it. It would be sad if it weren’t so vile.
Emma Watson threatened with nude photo leak over UN speech on gender equality
Because of course she was.
(via wilwheaton)
The motto
Veronika Scott was a fashion student at the College for Creative Studies in Detroit when her teacher, Stephen Schock, challenged her class to create a product that filled a need, rather than satisfying or creating a fad. Veronika’s design was a coat for homeless people that could transform into a sleeping bag, since in her city, she says, “you are constantly faced with the homeless epidemic.” Not only did her design win a International Design Excellence Award from the Industrial Designers Society of America, it’s become the core of Veronika’s nonprofit organization, The Empowerment Plan, which hires people from homeless shelters and transition homes to help her make the coats. Now, three years later, the 24-year-old social entrepreneur expects that her team of 15 seamstresses will produce over 6,000 coats in 2014 — all of which will be distributed free of charge to people living on the streets. Veronika originally designed the coats seeking input from people at a homeless shelter. After receiving feedback from people who used the prototype over a Detroit winter, she refined the design to create her final version which, in addition to being a waterproof and windproof coat and sleeping bag, also transforms into an over-the-shoulder bag with storage in the arm sockets. When she started out, Veronika states,
“Everybody told me that my business was going to fail — not because of who I was giving my product to but because of who I was hiring. They said that these homeless women will never make more than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich — you cannot rely on them for anything. And I know my ladies enjoy proving everybody wrong.”
And, their impact is growing — according to CNN, which recently honored Veronika as one of their 10 Visionary Women of 2014, “The Empowerment Plan expects to launch a ‘buy one, give one’ program that will make it sustainable beyond the donations and sponsorships that keep it running now. Hunters and backpackers who’ve asked to buy the coat will be able to do so, and the Empowerment Plan will still create coats for homeless people who need them.” Veronika is also excited to show other clothing producers that local manufacturing is possible: “I think we’re going to show a lot of people: you think it’s outdated to do manufacturing in your neighborhood, but I think it’s something that we have to do in the future, where it’s sustainable, where you invest in people, where they’re not interchangeable parts.” You can read more about Veronika’s organization on CNN, or watch a short video about her work here. To learn more about The Empowerment Plan or how you can support their work, visit http://www.empowermentplan.org/ For a wonderful book about women’s great inventions throughout history, check out “Girls Think of Everything” for readers 8 to 13. For those in the US who would like to support efforts to end homelessness and help the over 600,000 people who experience homelessness on any given night, visit the National Alliance to End Homelessness athttp://www.naeh.org/ or to find a local homeless shelter to support in your area, visit http://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/
Important in so many ways.
This is amazing and wonderful.

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tumblrs message system is a bit like messenger pigeons only they’re chickens and you just kind of throw them in the direction of the recipient and hope they find their way
This is (basically) my design.
We were eating lunch with the door open, and a monkey started to peek through the door.’Isn’t that cute?’ we thought. 'Hello monkey,' we said. Then the situation quickly deteriorated.
(Dharamshala, India)
4 Year Old Foils Babysitter’s Robbery Plot - Video
Let’s just blame the black guy…
believe a little girl in 30 seconds but won’t believe the black man after 5 hours….lol ok.
Says a lot.
It really does. I think it’s wonderful that she told that truth however, this is a prime example of white privilege. At 4 years old, she actually had systematic power over the fate of a Black male. White privilege is a very real and impactful thing.
I know that this story is heartwarming in it’s own way. Yes, the 4 year old has more in the way of ethical fiber in her pinky than her babysitter has in her whole body. Yes, it’s case closed on a wrongfully accused case that could have had very serious consequences for the neighbor involved…
but there’s something really chilling about an otherwise law abiding citizen being arrested and questioned in handcuffs for 5 hours on the casual implication of a 17 year old.
Here for the comments, especially the last one.
Wheeling-Pittsburgh Steel, Steubenville, Ohio. Part 2.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Wheeling-Pittsburgh Steel, Steubenville, Ohio.
Part 1.
theres nothing sexier than a guy playing guitar
a girl playing guitar
a tyrannosaurus rex playing guitar, struggling to strum with its tiny arms, fueled by rage and an inner desire to Rock