Untitled

Been trying to write out my reflections for 2024 but got distracted with hurting my tailbone at the beginning of the month. Let’s go!

2024’s theme of Temple Care I feel like it was a great success for myself, making so many personal changes and development. I’ve been very aggressive in my attending of regular therapy and I’ve relearnt so much about myself and discovery of boundaries, both in my personal and work life. My initial reason for going into therapy isn’t the same reason I’ve continued going (for the better). I’ve have a much better understanding of myself and my trauma responses. These changes in understanding has also helped shift my own views of the world and the people around me. I’ve reevaluated how I feel about my family and my own expectations of them.

At work, I changed departments in the summer and saw me stepping down from a work committee. The department change has resulted in me having a regular team, expectations, and work flow. This also means I have a stronger voice within my team and more comfortable with them. The work committee step down was out of frustration of how things work function and not getting the support that was promised. I don’t have any hard feelings with the people ON the committee, and I can always return later. I was just seeing a lot behaviors from upper leadership that was reminding me of shit in my childhood that I still struggle with. Fuck that nonsense. 

As for my physical health, it’s a mixed bag. I’m still trying to make better choices in food/meals but my A1C levels went up so I’m now taking metformin. The health team I’m working with is looking at getting me on ozempic in 2025. I haven’t been nearly as active as I should be. The department change has gotten me going into the office more regularly so it does get me more mobile when that happens but for the day to day, I’m pretty inactive. The summer was rough (also lots of emotional eating and poor food choices) mentally, which isn’t uncommon but I saw more stressors in the summer than usual. 2025 I want to get more active because I know that will help me getting physically healthier. Smacking my tailbone this month benched any panels for going to some of the Christmas things around me which would have helped. Despite this I have had better energies through out the day, which was a struggle from last year.

This summer my mom’s health took a plunge, and it resulted in her getting checked into the hospital. Some of it was due to complications of her medication but much of it is also because of her own choices. There was uncertainty for a while what happened and being so far away from her was very stressful. I went up to visit her at the start of the month for the holidays (source of the tailbone injury) and spent time with her. She’s settled on the idea of moving into assisted living and has her name on the list for a place nearby her current place. Before going up, there was a bunch of talks with my therapist helping me prepare for the trip so I had some systems in place. Oh yeah, traveling for 10 hours to get home on an injured tailbone SUCKS.

My social game has been good/okayish. Tea club has continued and went out to most of the things I was invited to but I feel like I could spend more time outside of my house and hanging out with others. Depression didn’t keep me in the house for all of the year, but fear of the unknown did. And people did offer to meet up with me for casual hang outs. I just dropped the ball on it. 

2025’s theme shall be “Year of Discovery”. LARGELY it’ll be carrying forward a lot of the things I have been doing in 2024 into 2025. Therapy will continue so I’ll still be learning more about myself and my trauma. I want to do better with my physical health and make positive changes there. With work I’ll be continuing to learn about the work I’m doing with the team, and I am joining the department book club. Just as an active participant, not doing work behind the scenes. I want to continue to learn about things within DEI and its effects in Canada. I want to get my social game up in 2025, especially in the summer which is a time I normally struggle with. I want to play more board games with people, more TTRPGS. I want to figure out what it means to self-identify as being queer/gender queer. Where/how do I see myself within that space, how does this change how I see myself now, etc.