Peden

Vacations!!! Relaxing, enjoying this beautiful view. 😍

P. J. O'Rourke

I think one of the difficulties of being assertive are finding the exact words to use.You want to tell somebody about something you're not happy with, but how do you say it?And a really good format for this is to use the four-step process.I understand, I feel, I want, is that okay?These four steps work brilliantly in any situation.So let's suppose, for example, you've got somebody that keeps interrupting you and you want to tell them.Step one, I understand, would be, I know you're in a hurry to get this job, and I do understand that it's important,but, and step two is how you feel.I'm a bit worried about this report I'm working on,I need another hour without being interrupted.So step three is what you want.Would it be possible to not interrupt me for the next hour while I finish this?And then step four is where you say, is that okay?You know, could you do that?That's the four-step process.All four of those steps have to be done in that order,and they're all really important.

Customer: Give me a refund!

Me: Can I please see your receipt to verify? I don't think we sell this product here.

Customer: I DONT HAVE A RECEIPT, JUST REFUND ME

Me: ... unfortunately we can't d...

Customer: DO IT

Customer: ... wait.. this isn't Target...

Life can be difficult enough without dealing with difficult people. Come on guys, be nice to each other. You don’t know someone else’s journey or where they are headed so the least we can do is share the love!

You know what? Life at work is stressful enough without the presence of bullies.I wish they didn't exist,but they do.A bully is a person who consistently acts out in negative ways towards others.Now this might take many forms including,being insulting,being overly critical,withholding information,physical intimidation,or many other unacceptable behaviours. Debate and passion are great and yes on occasion they might produce anger. However, consistent intentional strong negativity is wrong.Let's talk briefly about why bullies even exist.First and foremost they exist because you allow them to exist.I want to ask you to make a decision right now to not look the other way,thus enabling bad behaviour. You with or without other members of the team must draw a line and demand a positive work culture.And please don't be blinded by talent.The most common reason people allow the existence of bullies is great talent. I've heard many managers justify bad attitudes,bad personalities,and bad behaviours because they deem the person indispensable.

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