An Introduction to Shadow Work
Outside of beginner material, shadow work is the topic I get asked about most. It’s also one I’ve been most reluctant to tackle. I don’t think the climate of witchblr lends itself well to deep dives on intensely personal practices like shadow work because someone will always be there to contest it. It has to vary widely; what I say here will not be helpful to many people and I don’t pretend this series is definitive in any way. So my standard disclaimer applies: take what is useful and leave the rest.
In the simplest terms, it’s a form of spiritual self therapy. It’s about looking into the shadows of ourselves where we hide the unsavory unpleasant parts of ourselves and reintegrating them. The goal is to be more whole, to be our full selves.
It requires us to pull from two directions: whatever is inside of me is valid and worthy of respect but whatever harm it causes is my responsibility to mitigate.
While there’s nothing inherently spiritual about self-reflection and acceptance, the term shadow work is usually used in pagan communities to denote a type of practice that is. It might involve deities, spirits, and spellwork – all with the goal of reintegrating the self.
I can’t speak for others but I’ll share the reasons I do it. Shadow work for me is integral to my work with the Morrigan. She demands I face my fears and not let them have control over me. Sovereignty is vitally important to her and knowing oneself is a key part of establishing it. Shadow work aligns very nicely with what she wants for me and expects of me.
Anecdotally, I’ve found it’s greatly improved my divination and spellwork abilities. We often look for blocks externally but many blocks are internal. Shadow work has helped me resolve many of them.
I also just like taking a spiritual approach to being my whole self. It’s helped me find deep meaning in setting better boundaries and communicating my thoughts and feelings with openness.
Prerequisites for Shadow Work
These are the skills I found necessary to do shadow work in any meaningful capacity. While I’m sure some folks can do shadow work without them, my shadow work always suffered if these weren’t in place and reasonably stable.
I’m not sure that shadow work is possible without some sort of mindfulness practice. It doesn’t have to be meditation but something that allows you to separate from your thoughts enough to watch them is vital. I get this from meditation presently but I used to get it from running, mowing the lawn, or knitting – anything where my mind had to concentrate on one thing but not so complicated as to require a lot of complex thinking. The ability to watch your own mind without getting lost in it definitely required for shadow work, not something that develops by doing it. I’m sure there are people out there who’ve figured out how to make it work but that has not been my experience even second hand.
Self soothing is related to mindfulness but I feel it deserves it’s own category. Mindfulness is necessary in order to even look at difficult parts of yourself but self soothing is necessary so your reactions to that don’t escalate and cause problems. For instance, if in your shadow work you turn up ways you’ve unknowingly hurt someone you care about – it’s vital not to let that spiral into shame and depression. You need to be able to be there for yourself. For me this looks like saying nice things to myself, doing something nice for myself, or distracting myself from the block until I can work on it again.
Self care is kind of a loaded buzz word these days but I draw heavily from a model I heard presented by Dr. Meg-John Barker which divides self care into kindness and reflective practices. I add in maintenance as well because other types of self care are very difficult with out it.
Maintenance self care is about the day to day grind – paying your bills, brushing your teeth, feeding yourself. While I by no means think you need to have this kind of self care mastered – I did quite a lot of shadow work while living in the back of my car in college – it certainly helps. Survival concerns are likely to disrupt shadow work, so the better able you are to keep up with the day to day business of taking care of yourself then the easier keeping up with shadow work will be.
Kindness self care is the pintresty instagramy kind. It’s what most people think of when they think self care but it’s also why I think self care gets so distorted because it’s so publicized. For me, it makes more sense when you consider it in terms of a relationship. I find it helpful to imagine what I’d most like my partner to do for or with me and then do it for myself. It’s a way to show yourself you care about yourself beyond the day to day grind. But you also don’t want to use this as an excuse to enable unhelpful behaviors, especially ones whose underlying causes you’re trying to reintegrate. My current kindness self care practice revolves around making time for my letter writing and crocheting and also making myself tea more often. It’s simple but it helps me feel like I value myself.
Reflection self care is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a way to process thoughts and feelings. Journaling or other creative outlets work well for this. My bullet journal is the main way I currently fill this role. While shadow work will likely require this in some form, it’s good to have experience doing it more regularly and more neutrally. I stopped journaling for a while because I used to only journal when I was upset and working through blocks and so I associated it too much with that to use it to process neutral or happy events too. It’s only in the last two years I’ve reclaimed the practice as self care rather than shadow work and it’s made a world of difference.
This part is very important given that most people I’ve known who are drawn to shadow work have a history of mental health challenges. Safety planning is preparing a set of instructions for yourself when you’re in a bad or even dangerous headspace. There are plenty of websites that give guidance for developing your own safety plan: this one and this one are my favorites. It’s often overlooked in not just shadow work but mental health services as a whole which is why I’m not surprised so few people take the time to do it. I’ll likely be making a separate post that goes more into depth about it.
Don’t neglect this. You might feel fine now, but shadow work can dredge up very difficult emotions and you want to keep yourself safe.
Should you do Shadow Work?
If you’re considering doing shadow work, here are some questions to ask yourself.
How often in the last few months have you needed to use your safety plan or how often have you had major disruptions in your daily life due to mental health concerns?
If you’re regularly experiencing disruptions or needing to resort to your safety plan, then now may not be the best time to embark on it. Building a good foundation of stable mental health and a solid self care practice will make shadow work much more helpful in the end. Doing shadow work when you’re unstable can actually cause existing problems to get worse so please value your safety and wellbeing when deciding whether to pursue it.
Do you already practice all three kinds of self care regularly? How regularly?
I really do think shadow work shouldn’t be added to your practice until you can care for yourself regularly. Can it be done with out that? Definitely. But god does it make it so much easier. And if it’s easier, you’re more likely to see it through.
What influences make self care difficult to keep up with?
Whatever influences make self care hard to keep up with – those are the same influences that make it hard to keep up with shadow work. Disrupted shadow work is tricky because it can mean opening up boxes of uncomfortable beliefs and experiences that spill over into other parts of your life the longer they stay unresolved. Which isn’t the end of the world but it can definitely be hard to deal with.
How well can you self soothe/comfort yourself when you’re upset?
It’s absolutely vital that you’re able to calm yourself down. If you’re doing shadow work right, you’ll encounter parts of yourself that are truly upsetting to confront. And you need to be able to be there for yourself. If that’s something you can’t do right now, then I absolutely don’t recommend adding it to your practice.
What do you stand to gain by doing shadow work?
I think shadow work is a practice that can be of use for beginners and advanced practitioners alike. But it really helps to know your why. Shadow work done well demands discomfort so knowing why you’re doing it can help you push through it and grow. There are as many reasons to do shadow work as there are people doing shadow work.
I’ll be writing many more posts in this series about the actual methods I use for shadow work, but if you’re interested in easing into it, I recommend checking out my Self Awareness Challenge and my post on SOAP Journaling. I’ve used elements of both in my shadow work and found them very helpful.
I hope this has helped you get a better idea of what the purpose of shadow work is and what you’ll need in order to do it.
If you have any questions – let me know!
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