My, what I call; "blog"

really nothing nicer than someone saying “saw this and thought of you”

*puts my cigarettes out on you*

*wuickly smokes it all before you can reach me*

oh a wise guy huh? *rolls up my sleeves* why I oughta…

*wuickly rolls your sleeves back down before you can hit me*

jeff goldblum is the type of guy who gets mistaken for gay because he’s jewish. nathan lane is the type of guy who gets mistaken for jewish because he’s gay. stanley tucci is the type of guy who gets mistaken for gay because he’s a mild-mannered italian, which is jewish. seth meyers gets mistaken for jewish because of everything about him. zachary levi gets mistaken for jewish because everyone wants him dead. tom cruise gets mistaken for gay because he is.

"less is more" is a lie perpetuated by big small to sell more less

t-shirt with the words “high-functioning corpse” printed on it

it pains me to say it but the more people talk shit about the women who wear those shorts/leggings with the weird butt seam that looks like it gives you a terminal wedgie, the more compelled I feel to take the women’s side

ohhhhhh my godddddddd you saw someone wearing really tight revealing pants in public? should we throw a party? should we invite goody proctor

and while we’re at it, I’m done worrying about cameltoe. I don’t have time to be pulling and tugging at my clothes all day. if you can see the outline of my pussy you should say thank you and go about your business

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS… FOR ONE DAY YOU’LL LOOK BACK AND REALISE THEY WERE THE BIG THINGS!!!!

can everyone get into specifically the things im into in exactly the same way

Im fucking addicted to blanket

You should automatically get time off work until the light returns to your eyes and you feel like a real person again

having being anti death penalty as one of my core beliefs is fun because it really makes me realize how even progressive people want soooooo badly for there to be a category of people they can kill. I'm sorry but "group of people okay to kill" does not exist.