.Miss Anthea.

dialogue prompts from the first season of widow's bay.

don't act like you're better than everyone else.

i don't want any gossip. not today.

apparently there's no age limit on syphilis.

what town doesn't have a checkered past?

there are some people who want to be miserable.

i don't know how to get through to you.

you cannot keep sneaking out at night. do i have to put bars on the windows?

god, _____ used to make me laugh.

you were the best surprise of my life.

i just want to keep you safe.

you just cannot stand someone else being in charge, can you?

there's misogyny in the air. more than a whiff.

they'll drag you down with them, if you let them.

don't you raise your voice at me.

where are you headed? can i offer you a ride?

whatever weird tale you're about to tell me, i don't want to know.

i can't believe i let you into my head again.

i can't imagine what that must have been like, all on your own.

i shouldn't be asking you. it must be so hard to talk about.

i don't need your negativity today. just be supportive.

why are you always so nasty to me?

i know that you asked me to be supportive, but i have my qualms.

you can't just lock me in here.

i can see you calculating how much you think you can get away with in 30 minutes.

were you going to tell me?

you like to watch other people, see into their business.

you are our only hope against this darkness.

frightened men will do desperate things.

you know i've always been on your side.

it's what you promised.

fuck me? fuck you!

i will never understood how the fuck you got your job.

i wonder what my last words will be.

you old dog.

i seem so cold, but i have a heart.

things are gonna be different from now on.

i'm fine, i promise. it's just a flesh wound.

you need to learn to knock, cowboy.

you know what they say: the family that swims together, drowns together.

i thought you had forgotten about me.

i'm sorry, i didn't realize you went to medical school.

how about some tea?

i got a joint. let's smoke it.

it shouldn't be that way, but it is. there's no way around it.

you can't control the bad things that happen in life.

we live in a perpetually burning building, and what we must save from it all the time is love.

life is a house of horrors. you should know that better than anyone.

i've always worried about you. you avoid the truth.

i don't understand why i didn't just listen.

you're a good person. you don't deserve this.

it feels so good to finally say all of this out loud.

the pull-out method just doesn't work.

" --- oh, fuck you! for fuck's sake-"

" --- Rowan, stop. both of you, please just- i need to think." [ he doesn't know what Caillou is, but the insult still did its job, stinging his pride. he pulls to a careful stop at a stop sign, turns on the blinker, turns right. her words echo, biting at him, goading him. how can i trust you? you're gonna get me killed- they fucking knew you would freeze. They knew you would be useless-they are counting on you getting me killed! And then they are gonna use that death to justify killing you. and she's absolutely fucking right. ]

[ he hadn't seen it, before. hadn't wanted to. he'd only agreed to all this in the first place because they made him promises- not that he'd believed them, but he'd wanted to. that they'd help him find his brother. that they'd leave his family alone if he could prove it wasn't them causing harm to humans in the area. she's right. and he'd been too blinded by his own pain, his own naivety to see it. he looks at her then, swallows hard and shakes his head. ]

" --- look. you weren't in danger, and you- i wasn't expecting-" [ but he shakes his head, reconsidering his words. ]

" --- no. i'm sorry, Anthea. i'm sorry i froze. there's no excuse for it. it happened, and it shouldn't have, and i'm sorry. let's just get through this. one thing at a time." [ it won't happen again. but he knows to tell her would not be good enough. he'll have to show her. and he questions then, what he feels he has to prove to her- why he feels this sense of loyalty to her, partner or not. it isn't his fault she's found herself here. now isn't the time to remind her of that fact. ]

" --- whatever this is, we're in it. together. i'll do better. but i need you to do better, too. my people are off limits. everyone knows not to disrespect you. Rowan just doesn't care. he had it coming." [ he looks at her again. he means it. ]

" --- Roe, call Arlo. tell him we're almost there."

" --- i text him alrea-"

" --- Rowan. fucking call him. do it now. make sure he's there when we get there." [ it's important, if only for the fact Theo needs him there to help handle Roe while he and Anthea speak with Elmira. he has to lock in. he can't do that if he's worrying about a wounded packmate. ]

" --- you're not going to die out here, Agent Jones. you'll see."

[ when the reach Elmira's, she sitting on her porch, waiting for them. the driveway is lined with small colorful solar lights, mushroom shaped. they sit among the herbs and flowers planted each side of the yard emitting a comforting glow as they pull in to park. ]

[ Arlo stands on the bottom porch step, arms crossed but biting back a grin. he greets Anthea with a tip of his hatted head and quick, evenin', Miss Jones, and none of that sets well with Rowan. he cusses out everyone but Elmira as Arlo scoops him out of the backseat, practically carrying him to the front door. Elmira doesn't stand until Anthea and Theo reach the top of her porch steps. she watches them both, how they move with each other, watches them as if measuring something- looks over Anthea with a keen eye, expression unreadable. then she smiles. ]

" --- Agent Jones. you look stressed, honey. it's alright. though i can't honestly say the worst is done with. come in, please. Othello can make you tea, or coffee if you'd like, while i tend to Rowan. won't take long."

[ her smile warms past the initial cordial expression as she gestures for Anthea to enter her home. no chiding for having been the one to wound him, in the first place, for bringing this mess to her door, no fuss at all. Arlo filled her in. Rowan had it coming. ]

[the rest of the ride is quiet, she has nothing left to say. He’s apologized, a stunning revelation she did not see coming, but even that does not save her from the edge of dissociation, the abyss of disconnection looming outside the dark windows. Maybe the apology spurs it on, no man has ever apologized to her before, what was she supposed to feel? She has never been told she had been right, an argument has always ensued-the hackles had been raised-and for what? Her eyes watch the shifting landscape-Haventown is a sprawling, crawling place- and the sound the tires make as they drive up the drive way sound more like banishing screams than crunching gravel to her. ]

[Elmira and her home look exactly like she imagined, down to the colorful mushroom lights that line the driveway, and the way she rocks on the porch. Anthea didn’t expect Arlo to get there that quick, waiting for them all at the bottom of the porch stairs. But werewolves move at speeds she is unfamiliar with, and despite her assurances it wasn’t an emergency, everyone was treating it as such. The aging wolf in the back seat is angry, but she doesn’t mind the cussing. At least she finds some comfort in the way Arlo rough handles the howling man in the backseat to bring him inside. Theo and Anthea follow, but at a greater distance. Anthea feels like a shell of herself, pulling her feet up as they make their way. She doesn’t belong here, she tells herself, trying to find a quick exit when it doesn’t exist. Elmira has a kind look to her, no sign of inconvenience, and a smile that’s easy and familiar on her face. She doesn’t relax when Elmira tells her she’s okay, she doubts she ever will.] 

‘Uh…no. no coffee-‘

[Anthea doesn’t look Theo in the eye when he asks, darting around the space for signs where she can escape. Her voice is small and distant, she has completely detached herself from the situation, left her mind in the car down the stairs.  The room is cozy, but it is too small for her, and eventually her eyes fall on the door everyone but Theo and she had gone through.]

‘You should be with your pack.’ 

[her tongue clicks at the back of her throat on her words, and she can see the walls of distance beginning to slide back up. Whatever progress they had made; the hours spent talking over cases in motel rooms, a laugh over dinner, a confession over wine- it slides back behind the walls she’s built, like backsliding vines trying to climb too high. Why? He’s apologized, he isn’t fighting her on this-why is she so afraid to let him in? He is only there to help, and she needed to focus back on the case, not spiral into oblivion.]

‘Wait...You have a small cut-right there.’

 [she notices it and it pulls her back, pointing to a spot on her forehead to show him where it is on him. Rowan must’ve got him in the chaos, it’s only a few drops of blood, but it’s threatening to slide down his face. Anthea grabs a paper napkin off the table.]