NYT MINUS CONTEXT SENTENCE STARTERS.
from the twitter NYTminuscontext !! some funny stuff, some melancholy, all vague. change pronouns as needed.
hug clowns, beg for pizza.
just how much rudeness is there?
damn it, now i’m going to have to think.
it’s books and books alone that make me not want to die.
i think it’s a mistake they are allowing me to graduate.
only hedonists have babies.
are you scared? if not, you should be.
thrilling – like taking an art class.
there is going to be a certain amount of rabble-rousing.
now you’re going to see them over and over and over and over until you are ashamed.
why do you have to be so mean?
the little mermaid is actually pretty huge.
send a salami to your boy.
time feels at once inconceivable and heartbreakingly normal.
why is the moon everywhere?
is there anything more awkward than being pitied?
all this stupid sadness is chewing at my intellect.
i don’t, quote, ‘have anything to do.’
how can you be so many women to so many strange people, oh you strange girl?
ideal literary dinner party is one that nobody is invited to.
some medical experts are skeptical about the idea of building relationships around a psychotropic substance.
a gadget you wear on your finger that uses sound to startle you awake every three minutes for an hour, just before you go to sleep.
i hereby proclaim myself the president.
people just don’t do this sort of thing.
look — there goes a man in a plaid shirt.
all you can do is act normal and pretend it didn’t happen.
it’s really rare that reading is unaccompanied by guilt.
what, are you going to be stupid and mean?
i don’t cook. i hate cooking, and i never cook. but i like to eat.
almost everyone was, at one point, high on something.
it is a crime to kill an innocent human, but not to kill an innocent tapeworm.
i don’t feel like i know very much.
thank your body parts for their hard work.
it says here that your testicles could swell up.
lives don’t necessarily end.
what do you call that feeling when you’re certain that the world is doomed?
reading is better than life. without reading, you’re stuck with life.
you could do anything you wanted. you could eat a watermelon in the subway.
emotions won’t get you far.
you know what else? your orgasms will be weak.
we are ready, sir; are angry, are capable, our hopes are coiled up so tight as to be deadly, or holy: turn us loose, sir, let us at it.
trust animals, but not people.
stayed up until 1:30 a.m. creating a chart of all of the pens i currently own.
if you can, forget about everything.
if i get psychologically healthy i’ll lose my edge.
there is no longer enough in the world.
sometimes i felt scared, sometimes i felt as if i was going to start crying, and the entire time i felt self-conscious.
nothing is more obscene than redemption.
really, what is there to say when you’re standing right next to death?
what’s with all the lingo?
what’s a thing that you like? i’ll attach something you don’t like to it.
we all had dreams when we were younger.
almost all people regard tapeworms as incapable of innocence.
it’s a saturday night and i’m eating my dinner while staring out my window into the dining room of the family across from me.
another word for boredom is depression.
on the other hand, nobody was stabbed to death.
go out and get really down. there’s a multitude of things that will oblige you in misery.
it still frightens people: a young woman in power.
100 percent of the time, you’re less funny than you think you are.
i do drink alcohol, but at least i don’t drink the blood of the poor.
at once the best and dumbest idea i’ve ever heard.
i for some reason relish people being angry with me.
he appears to want primal experiences which are meaningful and cruel. so do i. so do i.
lots of superheroes could benefit from therapy.
foreskins come and foreskins go! but mozart lasts forever.
the dream means having no job security and almost everything being too expensive to do.
just do whatever you want.
the first thing out of everyone’s mouth was “i hate that guy.”
the world is an endlessly benevolent place.
someone at work sucked my toes.
i’ve got a big mouth and drink too much.
there must be a stable of morons somewhere kept exclusively for this purpose.
the only train i’m getting on is the locomotive accelerating into the future.
we could turn the world off, then on again, in an attempt to reset it.
people confuse sucking up to the rich and famous with spirituality.
bringing up a completely undamaged child was in bad taste.
this is so beyond stupid.
bullies must be brought down, hypocrites must be exposed, and the weak must be protected.
i think i like stressing myself out.
when i catch you, the e.r. nurse is going to pick your teeth out of my elbow the way mamaw picked raisins out of her slice of cake.
my enjoyment is somewhat marred by how bad i am.
i believe the clinical term is “hot mess.”
give me a few hints on how to do the things that people do when they do things.
i use this term advisedly: blow me.
why are you forcing me to be mean today?
anybody who says a donkey is stubborn has been outsmarted by a donkey.
if the stuff doesn’t kill you or blind you, it isn’t that bad.
this tastes alive. this tastes vibrant. it tastes like fresh dirt.
the irony was not lost on me, someone who finds irony in things.
my secret: every day i anticipate things will go horribly wrong.
if i’m not worried, i don’t feel alive.
don’t trust people who everyone likes.
be the enlightened, compassionate voice of reason and revenge.
inside you’re still like a child. so immature. still suffering for the same stupid things.
