roleplay resources

“ my heart, broken blue, my mind split in two, and yet i gained peace at the loss of you. ”

“ i hope, i hope, i rely on our love. i wish, i hope, i pray we never part. ”

“ we go to war to fight for peace. ”

“ my horror story began with you, and ended with your departure. ”

“ lonely like the winter, i searched for warmth, and found nothing but cold air with nothing but pain living there. ”

“ loving yourself will save your soul. ”

“ i’m much happier lying to myself about us. ”

“ my mental walls are crashing down on me, wide awake in this nightmarish thought. please save me from my own mind. ”

“ you have been strong for so long. cry if you need to. scream if it helps. ”

“ you’re cold, but you’ll love again. when snow melts the flowers grow again. ”

“ sometimes i wish i could get back all of myself that i wasted on you. ”

“ you’re terrified of feeling complete. you have a fear of becoming whole. and so you’ve accepted being broken. ”

“ i couldn’t stay. my heart was too heavy for your hands. ”

“ that’s a black whole where your heart used to be, and i won’t judge you for that. ”

“ in order to heal, you must walk away from what broke you. ”

“ you were never my forever. you were only my end. ”

“ where is the benefit in going to war for someone who’d rather fight against you instead of beside you. ”

“ you wear sadness well. but i can tell that you’re tired. ”

“i admire your ability to fight. i admire your ability to go to war, for all the things you know you deserve. ”

“ how quickly i went from sadness to feeling nothing at all. ”

“ next to you felt lonely. next to you felt cold. your presence felt like absence. your love felt like pain. ”

your day

i lay there for an hour doing nothing. stretching my muscles. staring at the ceiling, staring at the day.

we’re not rich, you know. money is a worry.

i’ve been inside all day.

i feel itchy and clammy, cooped up.

and i think, how good it would be to go out. how good to go... walk in the park, how good to just go anywhere.

and then i was so tired. and that was the tenth hour. and then i lay down in bed again, and that was the eleventh hour.

so many minutes on these worthless things. so now we’re at the... twelfth hour? must be. uh, that was the twelfth hour.

and then i will go to sleep, for eight hours. and those hours are easy.

lilacs

every sunday, i get lilacs in the mail, no matter where i am.

how can i live up to this?

sometimes i’m a good person, and sometimes, i am not.

you should go, get out of the house.

you do still want to get married?

subway

i’ve got a little secret, i’m going to see him/her/you.

the voice of life, if life could speak then life would speak in his/her/your voice.

what does a genius talk about?

natalya

and i will kiss you on the top of your head, for that is the kindest place to place a kiss.

sometimes i get scared, you’ve been drowning so long in your ocean, what if my boundless joy has a limit after all?

i’m not the rock you need to save you.

you are in a hole, and so i jump into the hole, but i can’t get you out.

how many times can i answer the same question?

why don’t you just snap the fuck out of it?

isn’t it pathetic, isn’t it a choice? can’t you decide?

i know that you are terrified, i think.

how i wish you could hear the things you are, when you’re bursting and bleeding, and shaking and shying and shattering.

how can you keep that inside you?

how dare you hold yourself down!

do whatever you need to do to make yourself whole again.

just do it quick, before i get sick of you.

i don’t ever want to get sick of you.

i know i’m supposed to be the better one, but the truth is, i’m no better than you.

not alone

you are here, you’re in the other room, i can hear every sound you make, dear. i am not alone, not alone, ever again.

all i hear is the sound of your life singing in my ears

all of the peace i had for so many years, now that’s all gone.

all of my life is entwined with my love.

what’s yours is mine.

don’t ever leave, you can help me live, dear.

you took all my empty space.

you are my saving grace.

the prelude

i wrote it when i was nineteen, i... i have no idea how i did it.

c-sharp minor is really the coolest key.

i just wanted it to be loud, just fucking loud, and epic.

there’s so much restraint, something that is precious.

and people loved it, and they loved me. for a while, it was amazing.

i tense up just waiting for it.

i would pound on the wall and yell, stop, stop, stop!

what if that was the one? what if that was the one best thing i’ll ever do, and i spend the rest of my life, just getting worse, and worse, and drying up, uninspired...

i don’t even know how that happened.

the first symphony

it was dark that night, there was a sickening black fog.

she/he writes terrible things about good people, untrue things, unintelligent things.

and you are not pretty enough, you’re not smart enough, you’re not funny enough, you’re not deep enough.

the best years of your life are behind you, it’s all down hill now, so sad, so sad. this is all you came to.

i left after a few minutes, i spent most of the concert on the stairs.

i don’t try anything, this is just what happens.

are you so small and stupid that you can’t hear anything new? that your little mind won’t accept it and won’t shut the static out and let the music just...

these sounds torture me.

okay, okay, i am a b-list hack, you got me.

this is not your place, this is not for you, i don’t want to hear your mind right now!

what is so fucking important about your opinion?

get out of here! get out! you are murdering souls! you are stepping on butterflies, you are burning flowers with kerosene, you are shitting on diamonds!

hypnosis

close your eyes now. take a deep breath in, now slowly out.

listen to the sound of my voice, you are not here.

notice the color of the darkness behind your eyes. notice the other sounds around you. notice the movement of air across your face. notice that all these things are music.

you are perfectly comfortable.

you are there, where you always have been.

do you know where you are?

you know how it happened. it was not an accident.

how do i know where to go?

i failed.

mountains / the second piano concerto

she/he/you came to me, and sang of mountains.

and she/he/you looked on every page, to see if he was there.

then i came to him/her/you, and sang of silence.

don’t joke; i mean to have a serious talk with you.

i hate ghost stories!

well, why are you going to the war?

i am going because the life i am leading here does not suit me.

what are you afraid of ___? i don’t understand.

you are going to the war and have no pity for me. why is it?

it seems funny to me that you, you should consider yourself incapable and your life a spoilt life. you have everything before you, everything.

it suits you so badly - all this debauchery, dissipation, and the rest of it!

wait, he is not drunk yet! a bottle, here.

shut up!

don’t you want to? well then, come here, closer, closer!

you are in love with me?

yes, in love, but please don’t let us do like that…

don’t you see you are not wanted here?

you always manage to do things at the wrong time.

i am ashamed of you.

if only i knew that anything besides humiliation would come of it…

if you wish to kill him, to kill him out right, you can see him.

we here in moscow are more occupied with dinner parties and scandals than with politics.

just now they are talking about you and ___.

you see, my dear… what’s that mess?

for shame, ___, for shame! it would be better if you went to the war.

what are you thumping the table for? and you are you exciting yourself?

still, i should not cry, but you can’t… no one can understand…

you, ___, don’t cry my darling, my dearest love.

mama told me to ask you to dance.

the limits of human life are fixed and may not be o’erpassed.

i knew that i could expect nothing but meanness, deceit, envy, intrigue, and ingratitude - the blackest ingratitude - in this house.

yes, i was a fool! i still believed in people, loved them, and sacrificed myself.

but only the base, the vile succeed!

no, i have a wicked heart.

how often we sin, how much we deceive, and all for what?

ah! here’s the warrior!

how is your health?

only fools and rakes fall ill.

one must be indulgent to a little weakness; who is free from them?

i don’t want any other life, and i can’t, for i know no other.

i only wish you were all as happy as i am.

no - promise that you will not refuse!

i’ve come to say goodbye.

i shall probably die before you.

if it has come to this what can I do, either to help or hinder?

even if you should wish to give your help i would not take it now.

if i have to die for this pure crime, i am content.

look to yourself and do not fear for me.

go and denounce me!

when I can do no more, then i will stop.

none are so foolish as to long for death.

silence! or you will anger me.

why must you probe the seat of our displeasure?

it's bad, to judge at random, and judge wrong!

tell me briefly — i want no long speech: did you not know that this had been forbidden?

so you dared to disobey the law?

that would have caused me grief; this causes none.

there is no room for pride in one who is a slave!

everything in me displeases you.

have you no shame, not to conform with others?

but in your stormy voyage i am glad to share the danger, travelling at your side.

you shall not die with me.

save your own life. i grudge not your escape.

once a house is shaken of heaven, disaster never leaves it, from generation to generation.

let not this single thought possess you: only what you say is right, and nothing else.

those friends of yours who can must tolerate your raging madness; i will not endure it.

is it your purpose then to kill them both?

now do i make my last journey; now do i see the last sun that ever i shall behold.

unwept, unwedded and unbefriended, alone, pitilessly used, now they drag me to death.

enough of this! if tears and lamentations could stave off death they would go on for ever.

i have nothing to say, no comfort to give: the sentence is passed, and the end is here.

with this plague you are yourself infected.

you'll rouse me to awaken my dark secret.

to yield is very hard, but to resist and meet disaster, that is harder still.

wild lament would be less ominous than this unnatural silence.

my grief crushes me.

PLOT: CABIN FEVER

muse a, having always been a bit asocial and discontented with their life, has moved to the small town of igaliku, located in sourthern greenland. isolated, and happy to not have much company, they stay away for years. when muse a’s parent dies, muse b, a friend/relative/ex-significant other, can’t bear to tell muse a via letter, so instead they travel to the inaccessible town late in the year, planning to give muse a an unexpected visit along with the news of the tragic death.

when muse b visits, however, a storm hits, trapping the two in the small town ---- they’re able to access the store yet the roads and waterways are too dangerous to traverse ---- muse a and muse b are forced to keep one another’s company. as muse b, in being forced to stay, ends up consoling muse a about the news delivered, muse a slowly begins to think their isolation isn’t quite as pleasant as they once thought.