notoriouscutie

let it flow

let it blow

away, away from me

leave me dancing so carelessly

with these open wounds for all to see

bleeding out

How many times will I let these men win?

You put me down and belittled me

All under the guise of appreciating me

Made me feel small by comparison

Not good enough

Never good enough

“How could you do that?”

“So and so would never have let someone treat them like that.”

“No one will ever wait for you given your past.”

“I needed you to come to me”

After berrating me with your remarks.

Adding to my inadequacy.

Tarnishing my character with your judgements.

Was that love?

When I fell off that pedestal you placed me on

And all you could see was everything that was disgraceful to you in me

To be blinded to the fact that she needed to exist

The one who you couldn’t accept

In order for the woman in front of you to come to light

Your insecurities caused me hurt with your comparisons

The judgements of having lived so much better than I

I will not apologize for the places I’ve been

Because of all the pain there is beauty

The mistreatment bred a caring heart

The loss of self showed me who I am not

Where I don’t belong

What I don’t want to be

Now I know

Granted, there’s still so much more to learn

But the journey is where the wonder lies

Searching and finding, making mistakes and getting lost along the way

Always coming back to myself in a new form

Moulded and shaped by these experiences

And that’s the whole point

This is what we’re here for