Notorious Carrot Man

Using 'greens' as a term as a catch-all to the vegetable community is convention at this point, so I don't blame you if you use it, but henceforth, do try to be more inclusive to us carrots, beetroots, etc, and use the more wide reaching 'foodstuffs'

Perishables is sometimes acceptable, as long as you refrain from using it in a funeral

Only we're allowed to say veggies though

kink: deleting someone’s pointless comment by reblogging the post from the same person they did

I mean, that’s censorship but okay.

ksvskwbidbwkdbskbsjw

my nephew, who is like 11 or 12, is playing “5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel”, which is exactly what it says on the tin, and I have never been more terrified of the youth of today

Wow I’ve never wanted a game more

what

w h a t ?

you’ve never played it?

no

play it

no

boooo play it

no

Goddamit i hate this fucking post. I hate it because obviously if “twelve” followed the same pattern as the other teen numbers it wouldn’t be “twoteen” it would be “seconteen”. Think about it. It’s not “threeteen” it’s “thirteen” as in “third”. It’s not “fiveteen” it’s “fifteen” as in fifth. So with that in mind, you count “first, second, third, fourth, fifth,” and so on, so eleven would be “firsteen” and twelve would be “secondteen” or “seconteen”. “Firsteen, seconteen, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen….” It just drives me absolutely mad everytime i see this post that this obvious pattern was overlooked and i cant hold in my rage anymore.

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i love it when italians argue about italian. like we don’t even know how our language really works we just roll with it

Italian is 107 different provincial languages stuck together with spit and half a prayer

My bf lives in another region and we are constantly arguing about regional variations of words and we both live in the fucking north of Italy

one time i saw a map of italy but instead of cities and roads etc it was just covered w different ways you can say the word vagina. it was covered

oh I can think of at least seven ways to say the word vagina right off the top of my head rn. I can’t imagine what I could do if I tried harder

this is the Italian Vagina Map, reblog to… I’m not sure actually. Can’t hurt though. 

if you were a mouse, these will be the dinosaurs…

jojo heritage post

it is honestly amazing how much of writing and editing is just. logistics. like... do i use a name here or a pronoun? if i move this dialogue tag to the middle of this line and break it in half, does the end of the line hit harder that way? what if i move the tag to the front? what if i remove it entirely? ...wait, whose point of view am i in; can i reasonably say this character is appalled, or must i say they look or seem or sound appalled? is this a deliberate action or a step-removed one; is her hand closing on his shoulder, or is she closing her hand on his shoulder? environment environment environment, we need to break all this dialogue up with some narration, the scene is coming untethered. what! are! they doing! with! the rest of their bodies that are not hands! fuck fuck fuck FUCK i forgot we covered this two chapters ago and now i either need to cut this whole chunk or find a reason to reprise the conversation from earlier. name or pronoun? name or pronoun? name or pronoun? move this clause around in this sentence? oh i'll add this phrase-- nope, never mind, past!me added the same phrase two lines down. okay, if i add too much environmental narration it's going to take away from this bit, but not enough and it won't feel grounded. what if i move this to its own line? where the FUCK are their hands?

Two figures arguing on my shoulders, except instead of an angel and a devil, it's an architect and an engineer.

Worlds oldest haunted house has passed away at the age of 207

i wanna see more stories with a time skip epilogue where at least one character has clearly transed their gender and it isnt really remarked upon. bonus if none of them were remotely hinted to be trans until that moment because i think it'd be funny to watch a fandom react to that. your blorbo's happily ever after involves being a woman. dont worry about it.