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26/10/2025

My writing is realization. Realizations about life, in specific My life.

About how My life will be full of ups and downs, big and small holes, mountains and cliffs. My life is hard, everyones life is hard in their own respect.

Everyone struggles.

Yet for me, My life can feel like hell -My own personal hell- a place that makes me feel like I am burning alive.

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Realization that I should be scared of life. That life is scary, but that I can’t give up and that I need to be able to deal with pain. I need to be able to deal with rejection from loved ones. I need to be able to deal with emotions and feelings, and the process of digesting them.

Today was a day of feeling everything at once because i basically got ghosted for two days and then she popped back up with a girlfriend.

I honestly feel myself have been a delusional fuck for even thinking she would be interested and didn’t just want my number because. It almost is the same feeling as when a person would ask you out in elementary school as a joke of a dare, even better that is probably the only reason i feel the way i do.

I don’t feel sad that it was her, I feel sad it keeps happening. I feel sad as every time i come close to romance it just jumps away at every opportunity it has to jump.

I don’t even know thinking, talking, writing and even drawing about it makes me want to cry. It makes me want to bawl my eyes out.

Its not that emotions are new to me, its more that i have never actually felt them, the only thing I felt was sadness and when i cried i would feel a physical pain. My emotions have never felt like this before and i think I might be a little lost as to what I am supposed to do with them.

I ate my fucking dinner and NO JOKE this shit was DROWNING in fucking teriyaki sauce.

I think i might ACTUALLY start using my Tumblr instead of just letting her die in the middle of nowhere SO HERE WE GO!!!

Hi everyone!! I'm Asher and this is my tumblr, on my tumblr I wanna discuss fashion, politics, history and many other things as I love getting to know other opinions about topics I enjoy. I also really enjoy learning languages and at the moment I am learning Korean, Japanese and Portuguese (I speak English and Dutch fluently and can read a little German). I also have a love of fashion and art --honestly I just really like anything creative.

If you are interested in any of these things feel free to follow my lil blog (TUMBLR)