And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.

so you fell asleep talking on the phone with me and when I hang up I don’t realize I’ve pulled up his number until I look down again. that’s what he is. muscle memory. gut reflex. I’ve never mentioned it to you but I’m drawn to things that make me bleed and he’s got a box cutter heart. i keep trying to claw my way back to him like it matters, still. like I don’t have you to keep the darkness from getting in. like I don’t have you to call me baby and text me good morning. like I don’t have you at all. so I’m sorry, in advance, for what this love could do to you. i just don’t know how to stay when it doesn’t ache and i don’t think you’ve ever hurt a goddamned thing in your life.

She’s never where she is. She’s only inside her head.