Gemma✨

I’m that song you skipped and found out later it was fire.

Me to my wife on our 25th wedding anniversary: so.. We’ve been hanging out a lot the past few years and.. Idk like….. What are we?

Me, putting on an ugly outfit: this is okay because i’m gay

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

My ultimate goal in life is to be the cool lesbian aunt with her cool gay wife

Me: dangling hand off bed Demon: *grabs it* Me: what are we

detective: [kneels down looking over a dead body] hm. gross

where can i buy this hoodie???

do you ever look @ someone and think “i just want you to be happy always”