Wisteria Sparks

Another week of bowties and letters for @netflix, @warnerbrosentertainment and @primevideo!

Hey streaming services, look at how dedicated the fans are- you could have all our money if you would just Save Dead Boy Detectives. Literally just give us a price tag at this point and I'm 100% sure that we would fund it for you...

Sent today: 62

"Brooding the narrative all by yourself, handsome?"

Edwin’s breath resurrects to catch and die in his throat.

He looks up from his desk, and Thomas is there, sliding a book into the shelf, leaning against it. His spun-gold hair is loose, curling around his cheeks and jaw. He's dressed in his black funeral clothes, simple buttoned shirt and shadow-patterned kilt, so composed and devastating that Edwin's half-convinced he's dreaming him there. That still, he can’t be real.

But just by his shoulder, Edwin sees the book he returned: The Odyssey.

Edwin's vision tunnels. His pencil clatters to the floor, forgotten. "You came."

"You called," Thomas replies simply, like it was all he needed to do. "Albeit a little late, but I'm nothing if not fashionable."

In this light, he's unscathed save for the eternal scar gracing the edge of his lip, watching Edwin for his next move.

The bastard.

*********

Get this pitch: think Odysseus and Penelope but CatWin.

Obviously this isn’t gonna be a post about the entire Odyssey, but just them: two people with the same sharp cunning, wit, and intellect, used in different ways for different kinds of survival, with matching tempers and dark sides who can only really find a sparring partner with each other.

Now that you’re seeing that picture think of a story that takes the messiness, magic, and completely show-stealing chemistry that makes up the connection between Edwin and the Cat King, except it’s a DBD season 2 fic where Thomas is condemned to exile in Port Townsend, and Edwin is trying to return to normal after all the changes that one small town brought into his life.

But when both of them meet again on London’s side of the sea, they come to realize that that’s all ultimately out of the question- when someone knows so much of your secret parts purely because they want to, it’s bound to be something more than fascination that draws you two together.

In other words, that’s my idea of opening for the CatWin fic that I’m already over halfway finished with writing, you heard it here first folks, as the prophecy goes, fuck it we ball

I’m in the Mood for a Fic Where…

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1. For “in a mood for,” do you have any fics where it’s a scene/memory-viewing fix-it. Where the cultivation world uses a spell or artifact to see what WWX is doing in the Burial Mounds or where they view his memories to incriminate him (usually it’s the Jins who want to do it in order to learn more about demonic cultivation, but fics with other reasons work too). (Oh, no. You’ve locked onto one of my favorite tropes 🥲 -Mod C )

Jin Guangshan’s terrible day, and Lan Wangji’s not so bad one! by Tlkfluentsarcasm (Not Rated, 2k, Jin Guangshan POV, Burial mounds settlement, Invasion of privacy, Fluff, Light angst)

The Path by Seastar98 (Not Rated, 27k, WIP, Characters watch their series, CQL verse, Angst, Hurt/comfort, Golden core reveal, BAMF NHS)

A step in the wrong direction by pupeez4eva (Not Rated, 4k, Humor, Canon Divergence, Everyone realizes that WWX and the Wens are innocent, The Jins have a lot of answering to do, JGS’s POV so we get to see his slowly dawning horror)

Revealing Truth by KamiSuki (G, 2k, Spy Array, Canon Divergence, Fix-it)

Through a Looking Glass by Purplepulu (Not Rated, 21k, Fix-it of sorts, Canon Divergence, Humor)

(Check out our Characters reading/watching the series post too for similar fics ~ Mod C)

~*~

2. hello mod L :) do you know of any fics where when wwx dies he’s pregnant? I know i’ve read at least one of these but i cant seem to find them

🧡 Like Rabbits by Setari (T, 41k, Kid fic, Canon rewrite, Mpreg, Miscarriage scare, Crack treated seriously, Hopeful ending) (He dies pretty much right after giving birth in this fic but he and LWJ have a lot of kiddos before that ~ Mod C )

Wretched Little Turnip by pearliegloom (M, 59k,Heavy Angst, Humor, Mpreg, Whump, Disturbing themes, Burial mound settlement days, Canon compliant)

…and other dreams. by mondengel (E, 2k, Eldrich au, Horror, Gore, Body Horror, Murder, Death, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Mpreg, Dark fic)

~*~

3. In the mood for fic where JGS faces some consequences for being lecherous, for lusting someone else’s wife, for trying or forcing someone to his bed. @aeszdjie​

Aftermath by KouriArashi (T, 57k, JYL/JZX, wangxian, everybody lives (except JGS) au, romance, developing relationship, family, attempted sexual assault, processing trauma)

And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, Time travel, Hurt/comfort, Canon typical violence, Getting together, Everybody loves/Nobody dies)

if you can’t beat them, recruit them by moeblobmegane (T, 203k, Time Travel Fix-It, Conspiracy, Spies & Secret Agents, Team as Family, Found Family, WIP)

I Started From the Bottom/And Now I’m Rich by x_los (E, 57k, Time Travel, Sugar Daddy, Black Widow WWX, Protective Siblings, Dysfunctional Family, Family Bonding, Sugar Baby, Crack treated seriously, Politics)

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4. Howdy!!I’m sorry for the bother, but I’ve wondered if you and your followers knew of a fic where WWX disappeared for years only to later appear better (health, wealth)?? Like, he was MIA to everyone and everything. I saw this and got me craving for something similar hehe @nia-rarita​

Echo, Murmur, Dream, Here by bluerainmist (M, 50k, Canon Divergence, YL survives, Angst with a happy ending, Self-Harm, Yiling Wei Sect) - he has apparently managed to build a whole ass city in the plane of darkness during his absence; also that one modern AU where he gets contracted by the Lan Corporation to overhaul their computer security? (would anyone happen to have a link to that? ~ Mod C)

Tempo Rubato by Spodumene (E, 107k, Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, persuasion au, Mutual Pining, Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Eventual Smut, Jane Austen Fusion) (Thank you to @tess-is-elated for the link to the Lan Corp fic that was suggested above ~ Mod C)

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5. Any recs for fic where both WWX and LWJ end up pregnant?

our love bore the wildest seas by ariskamalt (E, 10k, wangxian, ABO, omega/omega, mpreg, getting together, love confessions, pining, unplanned pregnancy, fluff & smut)

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6. Hi! Thanks for taking the time to do this, please believe me, this is amazing for a lot of us, avid readers. I was wondering if you new of two kind of stories: A) Stories where Jin Ling really loves WWX (I’ve read some by ShanaStoryteller (Rotten Work and By Any Other Name), and a ModernWorld where Lan Zhan is a singer and JL and OZZ make a plan to help them get together which name I don’t remember, and I love it) and B) Some where WWX and JZX are friends/brothers/don’t hate each other. Thx!!!

6A.

Operation Barking Dog by RoseThorne (T, 4k, wangxian, JL & WWX, family, pining, WWX’s fear of dogs, repaying debts, regret, trauma, travel, WIP)

let it come down, let it come down, let it make in you a new river by ravenditefairylights (G, 14k, JC & JL, JL & WWX, wangxian, post-canon, hurt/comfort, fluff & angst, reconciliation, pining, family feels)

Death of a Ghost by Gotcocomilk (E, 107k, Ghost WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Parental WWX,BAMF WWX, WWX haunts JL) wwx is like a father figure for jl in this one :,)

6B.

Candy & Conspiracies by cl410 (T, 16k, Found Family, Jin WWX, No angst, Fluff, Crack, Humor)

🧡 Song by WithBroomBefore (T, 41k, Platonic Soulbond, Hurt/comfort, Canon Divergence, No golden core transfer, JC&JZX stay in Xuanwu cave, Fix-it, Temporary character death)

watch what we’ll become by glitteringmoonlight (T, 59k, Fix-It of Sorts, Angst with a Happy Ending, you’ve heard of enemies to friends to lovers, now get ready for enemies to reluctant husbands to begrudging best friends)

~*~

7. Hey y’all for the next in the mood post can anyone recommend fics where LWJ fucks up and actually has to make up for it? Bonus points if Wangxian are in a sexual relationship that WWX is angsty about because he doesn’t think LWJ likes him.

Honesty is the Best Policy (Except if You’re an Asshole) by piecrust ( E, 22k, College AU, Porn with feelings, Angst)

right to care by travelingneuritis (E, 61k, Modern AU, Musician LWJ, Nanny WWX, Pining, Eventual Happy Ending, Adoption, Child Abuse, Miscommunication)

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8. hey if you dont mind could you rec me a few fics with a tiny ayuan whos just having a good time and is happy just some domesticity ig. also could you rec a few fics where all three of them are super happy spending time together thank you

In Your Name by InTheGreySpaces (G, 3k, LWJ & LSZ, wangxian, fluff, father-son relationship, pining)

The Untamed: A Dinner to Remember by YenGirl (Not rated, 34k, wangxian, canon divergence, fix-it, angst, humor, family, fluff, love, redeemed SS & JGY) 

Diedie’s precious hair by Miloca (T, 3k, wangxian, WQ & WWX & WN, modern, family fluff, parenthood)

ghost in your arms by DizziDreams (T, 11k, wangxian, modern, kid fic, dadji, ghost WWX, haunting, fluff & angst, pining)

a garden to call ours by kintou (Not Rated, 8k, WIP, Bunny adoption, Modern au, Single parent LWJ, Fluff, Getting together)

Cotton Tales by Court_on_Fire (G, 5k, Kid Fic, Established Relationship, wangxian married with a son, Fluff and Humor, Late Night Crafts, Lan Zhan attempts to murder his husband with sweetness for the life insurance money)

Bunny burrow by Blue_ghost13 (G, 300, Modern AU, Family Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Birthday Fluff, No Angst, Kid Fic) wintertime snuzzles in bed for the whole family on A-Yuan’s birthday

Bun Fu Fighting by Silvarbelle (G, 4k ,Modern AU, Racism, racist microaggressions, petting farm (in america), animal education, cultural education (attempt), Two Dads, Established Relationship, Slice of Life, Mojo’s Post)

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9. in the mood for your most epic and satisfying jin guangshan and/or jin guangyao smack down scenes. canon divergence preferred, or modern au with very high stakes. ok with long fic where a scene like this is part of a climax. 💖💖

in a place where we don’t have a prayer by cerusee (T, 41k, WWX dies at Qiongqi Path, Canon Divergence, Character Death, Angst)

the problem with authority by isabilightwood (M, 139k, Switch WangXian, Qin Su resurrects JYL, Angst with a happy ending, Chronic Pain, Slightly dark JYL) has a really slow and methodical JGY takedown.

Death of a Ghost by Gotcocomilk (E, 107k, Ghost WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Parental WWX,BAMF WWX, WWX haunts JL) Also I think my previous suggestion applies to this one, too. (shrug)

~*~

10. Hi! I don’t know if it’s the right place but I’ve been searching everywhere but i can’t find them.Actually i was looking for wangxian fics with tgcf crossover. Most of which i found also had svsss and i haven’t read svsss yet so i don’t wanna read anything with them. I just wanted to read mdzs and tgcf crossover fics with no other ships included. I’d be grateful if you could help. Thank you 😊

💖 Atlas by etymologyplayground (M, 12k, wangxian, hualian, TGCF fusion, getting together, friendship, grief/mourning, smut)

happiness, with you by glowelegans (M, 5k, wangxian, hualian, TGCF fusion, grief/mourning)

Can we skip to the Good Part? by pink-lotus-pods (Waterlogged_fireflies) (T, 107k, wangxian, hualian, TGCF crossover, ghost WWX, slow build, fix-it of sorts, panic attacks, blood & violence, mental breakdown)

Raise It Up, Roll the Dice by GhostySword (T, 5k, Canon Divergence, Crossover, Fairy Tale Elements, Deal with a Devil, Grief/Mourning, Canon-Typical Gore, Excessive PDA, lots of feels, Ghost City’s Spirited Away Vibes)

even across a thousand miles by merryofsoul (T, 10k, Body swap, WWX & XL Body swap, Post Canon, Light angst, Crossover, POV alternating)

Switched by Xiao_Hua (M, 16k, Canon Divergence, Soul Switch, mainly wangxian, Fluff, Cultivation Partners, First Time, WWX is oblivious, LWJ loves him for that, HC is bae and XL was whipped from the beginning, Canon-compliant sex)

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11. Hi! Sorry, I have anothee question, do you know of any WX fics where WWX cries, but they are not totally sad/angst fics? Like maybe he cried recalling what happened to him (either canon, divert, o modern-setting), but it is when everything is about to get right.

🧡Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 32k, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst)

🧡 close your eyes, feel my heartbeat by ThatDesiGirl (T, 11k, blind!WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, Rewriting Canon, not a fix-it but a what-if, Golden Core Transfer) (There is a scene where Wei Wuxian cries at being able to see as MXY while also briefly recalling the past ~ Mod C)

24 Hours by tailor31415 (E, 5k, post-novel, PWP, But there’s a little plot, Bondage, Prostate Milking, Dual Cultivation) LWJ fucks a golden core into WWX in a lengthy dual-cultivational ritual; it’s an intimate and intense experience which brings them both to tears

in the arms of the angel by ScarlettStorm (E, 37k, WangXian,Modern AU with Magic, Fox WWX, animal rescuer LWJ, Comedy, Smut, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Adhd WWX, the mortifying ordeal of getting your head stuck in a peanut butter jar, Mojo’s Post) LWJ delivers empathy (in the mundane sense), kindness, and nurturance at a critical moment to a despondent and overwhelmed WWX

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12. I’m in the mood for fic where wwx agrees to give up demonic cultivation and go to gusu at the end of the sunshot campaign instead of deciding to try to fake it back in Lotus Pier. I’d especially love any stories where he is considered a major war hero who gave up his cultivation to save everyone and/or where he spins a story about his core being destroyed by demonic cultivation in the last fight. My biggest dream is a story where wwx is able to leverage his GOOD reputation to help the wen remnants— like “the guy who sacrificed his core to stop the wen is saying ‘not these wen’”.  THANK YOU & I’M SORRY (not sure if i’m submitting correctly? **This is indeed the correct way ^^  ~Mod L**)

Minding series by withbroombefore (G, 84k, Canon Divergence, WWX goes to Gusu, Golden core reveal, Fix-it, Eventual happy ending, Established Relationship)

~*~

13. Hey, thanks so much for running this blog. The “in the mood for” posts are my favorite.I was wondering if you have any good fics where LWJ gets angry at LXC after LWJ’s whipping. I just read the “Immortal Avenger” and am in the mood for some good Lan Bros Angst. Bonus if it includes Xiyao. @druidpaladinranger​

Sacrifices Made with Blood by NocturnalFriend (M, 80k, WIP, Temporary character death, Time Travel, Fix-it of sorts, Angst, Hurt/comfort, Sick LWJ, WWX goes to gusu)

For Both Of Us (And Time Is But A Paper Moon) by sami (E, 65k, Time Travel, Some People Live/Not Everyone Dies, Fix-It, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Getting Together, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ) I’m pretty sure “For Both of Us (and time is but a paper moon)” by sami touches on this

Somewhere Sits an Empty Throne by Siamesa (E, 19k, WangXian, TGCF Fusion, Gods & Goddesses, Ghosts, Romance, vengeance, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark LWJ, Grief/Mourning, Explicit Sexual Content, Angst with a Happy Ending) Pretty angsty, definitely lots of Lan Bros angst and Lan Wangji seeking vengeance. Lan Wangji’s 33 lashes don’t end up being the only punishment from the Lan Clan. Lan Wanji dies and 13 years later Wei Wuxian comes back as a minor God of Mo Village trying to figure out what is going on with the ghost/calamity “Lonely Notes from Bloodied Fingers”.

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14. For the next in a mood for post are there any fics where wei wuxian has a prosthetic? Just read in payment, a hand and we’re starting at the end and was wondering if there are any more fics where he loses a limb and gets a prosthetic to replace it

some things go forward by everythingispoetry (T, 73k, wangxian, modern, hospitals, teenage drama, slow burn, hurt/comfort, happy ending, Mojo’s post)

No night as deep as my night. by orange_crushed (E, 17k, wangxian, blood & gore, non-consensual body modification, mutilation, loss of limb, trauma, harm to children, suicidal thoughts, angst w/ happy ending) Wei Wuxian loses a hand and creates a replacement

The shortest moments are the longest memories by giorassol, hypermoyashi, IceBreeze, Pteropoda (SilentP), and Silverne (T, 6k, Star Wars AU, not crack, Round Robin, Writing Exercise) “Darth Yiling” has a clawed prosthetic hand

impossible with two hands, no more impossible with one by Sour_Idealist (M, 33k, Canon Divergence, Series Context Provided, Sunshot Campaign, Sect Leader JYL, Sect Leader WQ, Biased Narrator, Slow Burn) WWX loses his sword hand to YZY and gets a hook.

Dawnless by Sakurafubuki (AriasOfSnow) (M, 136k, Cyperpunk AU, Modern AU, Slow Burn, Canonical Character Death, basically wwx dies here as well but guess what he comes back, secondary character death, also this can go from pretty cracky to quite dark kind of fast so beware) WWX has to build replacements for the eye and arm MXY’s donated body is missing

❤️Love made visible by Moominmammashandbag (M, 31k, zhuli (jiang yanli/wen zhuliu), wangxian, canon divergence, fix-it, major character injury, amputation, hurt wei wuxian, angst, JYL is a ROCK, and she cultivates with food, Hurt/comfort, Mojo’s Post)

A Leg Up for a Helping Hand by @mondengel (M, 650, WIP, WangXian, Amputation, Angst)

a star called sun by thelastdboy (E, 65k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence after Xuanwu Cave, Heavy Angst, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Amputation, Butterfly Effect, Miscommunication, Situational Mutism, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn) wifi turns the xuanwu sword into a hand with the help of yin energy during his first stint in the burial mounds. wip, but there’s a lot of it and the author has a good track record for finishing (slowly)

~*~

15. hello hello! i’m wondering if anyone knows of any post-canon (novel or cql!) fics in which its referenced or otherwise acknowledged that lwj wouldn’t survive wwx dying a second time? thank you!

The care and keeping of Hanguang-jun by dreaming of your qin (sherleigh) (M, 91k, Post-Canon, Fluff, Angst, Slow Burn, can it still be slow burn if they’re already together, married wangxian) though it is in the background. Wei Wuxian’s mortality is very much at the heart of the fic.

~*~

16. hi, thank you for your hard work! can you recommend yizhan fics which involve traumatic pasts and healing?

These have been moved to YiZhan Compilation

~*~

17. For the next I’m in the mood for, does anyone know any fics where WWX is genuinely creepy? Something close to how the donghua characterized him. Like he’s just a little off from center and doesn’t even realize how disturbing he can be. @idlebeks​

pitfalls of greed by glitteringmoonlight (T, 3k, POV Outsider, BAMF WWX, Kidnapping, Violence, YL WWX, not exactly but the vibes are there, Post-Canon) Maybe this one?

~*~

18.   Hello there! Do you have ficrecs for a) injured or near death LWJ and in the process of saving him, WWX realizes how much he loves/cares for LWJ? Or b) ficrecs where WWX is jealous?? Some angst and fluff pleaseee 🥺 thank you in advance and really appreciate the great work that you do 💖✨

18a.

Keep an eye on Tabi_essentially, who says that she is working on an epic-length fic about this and should begin posting it within the month!  (working title is something like The Jade Curse)

my bones into your bones by butterflylungs ( M, 17k, Post-Canon, Case fic, Established Relationship, Hurt/comfort, Angst with a happy ending) that’s already post canon, but maybe you’ll also like it

The True Story of How Concubine Mo Deviously Deceived The Entire Imperial Family by Enigmatree (T, 60k, WIP, Canon Rewrite, Royalty, Chinese Imperial Harem Drama, BAMF WWX, Romantic Fluff, Prince LWJ, Concubine WWX, Slow Burn, Identity Porn) Despite what it says, it’s a wip

18b.

Axe on Leg by Itszero (G, 4k, Fluff, Humor, College AU, Jealous WWX, Established Relationship)

Hanguang-jun’s Husband by lilacevergarden (T, 6k, Time Travel, post-canon wangxian being disgustingly in love, wwx bullying teenage wangxian, Yeah that’s it, Jealous WWX)

Four Parts Honey and One Part Vinegar by masked (T, 13k, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Junior Quartet, Fluff, Humor, Time Travel, 5+1 Things, Jealous Wèi Yīng, the Impeccable Trust between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, POV Outsider)

~*~

19. Y'all have given me sooo much to read and I LOVE it and I was wonder if if you A) knew of any Eldritch fics or B) any fics where wanxian become godsPlease and thank you!! @yukihyo-no-yosei​

19A)

hollow voices ringing in your ears by LunaChi_KuroShihone (G, 5k, wangxian, fluff & angst & feels, body horror-ish, eldritch lans, YLLZ WWX, cuddling & snuggling)

Eldritch!Lans AU series by sariala (G, 29k, LXC/JC, LJY/LSZ, wangxian, established relationship, getting together, love confessions, hurt/comfort, family feels)

You are what you eat by deliciousblizzardshark (E, 29k, wangxian, major character death, eldritch WWX, dead WWX, body horror, cannibalism, possession, fluff & humor, smut, mind all the tags just in case)

blood sweet by iliacquer (E, 3k, wangxian, rule 63, dark LWJ, human/monster romance, dubious consent, consensual non-con, asphyxiation, torture, painplay)

A Night Light for the Elder Gods by nerdzeword (T, 28k, lighthouse au Eldritch Monster au, Case Fic, Sort Of, Mystery, light horror?, Minor Character Death, Ghosts, Memory Loss, Witches, Magic, Modern AU)

pale, glittering sea by Sanguis (E, 8k, Bloodborne Fusion, Body Horror, apotheosis, eldritch horror, Explicit Sex, Tentacle Sex, Anal Sex, Overstimulation, Oviposition, Eggpreg)

One and All of the Abyss by mondengel (Not rated, 1k, JC & WWX, wangxian, eldritch horror au)

19B)

Of Destruction and Rebirth by demoniqt (M, 83k, WIP, Slow Burn, God WWX,Fix-It, Attempted Sexual Assault, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Castration)

Sacrosanct by diamondbruise (T, 8k, WIP, Modern AU, Modern Cultivators, God!LWJ, Modern Cultivator!WWX, Reincarnation, Mutual Pining) god lwj, former god wwx, WIP but author has a good track record for finishing things

Vow by draechaeli (E, 216k, Canon Divergence, BeliefGod!WWX, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, Pregnancy Kink, Mpreg, minor male lactation, Consensual Non-Consent, Light Bondage, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con because JGS, Mentions Canon Typical Incest, Canon Typical Violence)

Somewhere Sits an Empty Throne by Siamesa (E, 19k, TGCF fusion, Gods & Goddesses, Ghosts, Romance, vengeance, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark LWJ, Grief/Mourning, Explicit Sexual Content, Angst with a Happy Ending) tgcf fusion, god!wwx, calamity(ghost king)!lwj

Wuqian, the Local God of Yiling by Grace_ShadowWolf (TaubeLePigeon) (M, 69k, WIP, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence, Gods, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Ghost WWX, WWX becomes a god with a ridiculous name WWX protects baby juniors, Mutual Pining, WWX actually remembers what happened at Nightless City, Temporary Character, Baihu!WWX, WWX has a thing for giving flowers, he also has white hair)

~*~

20. Can you recommend me a yizhan fic about revenge and falling in love?

~*~

[ID: A digital sketch of Kinn and Porsche laying on their backs, heads resting on each other’s shoulders. A tree is casting a shadow over them. Kinn has a hand on Porsche’s throat. There is a green and pink vine tattoo on Kinn’s left arm and a golden tree tattoo on Porsche’s left bicep and shoulder. End ID]

Artwork based off of @luckydragon10 ’s fanfiction, The King’s Tree, it was a stunning take on soulmates, so definitely go read it!

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NO UNFINISHED BUSINESS.

So this child, who is known among the other children at his school to talk like he swallowed a dictionary and get into screaming matches with his history teachers, gets the title of The Wayne Family's Single Brain Cell. This is furthered by the fact that every time he's seen in public he has an exhausted expression on his face like

The Princess Bride (1987)  dir Rob Reiner