...can last forever

--

"Please tell me you are not--"

"No, no." You sighed and shut your eye. "I'm just a bit sloppy." You could feel a potion dripping down your back. PAMA let out this strange noise, something that sounded as if they were holding a shrill, mechanical yell within their throat.

"It could kill you, Radar!" PAMA finally let it loose. You turned to them slowly and they threw their head back, hands engulfing their eyes as they did. "You can talk to me! I can help you!"

"I don't want to be defenseless!" You shouted back. PAMA pulled away a little. "I'm sorry, I just... I feel like a burden sometimes and," You turned away, "I just... I just need to be able to do this."

"I care about you, Radar. You would never be a burden." PAMA had said. You knew they meant it.

"PAMA, it's just... It's me. It's always me." You couldn't look at them. "You know me. I'm always--"

"No, no, please, please be kind to yourself..." PAMA pleaded, one hand grabbing yours. Some part of you wanted to pull away, because--

It was months--yeah, months--no, a year, later that it all went to shit. Firework and--oh god. Why are you remembering that now?

You suddenly couldn't trust Nell to watch your kids. Your mind was never a good one, but it began to... Shift. Those small whispering thoughts...

Someone had poisoned your food.

Nobody loved you.

PAMA was going to hurt you. Lukas was right.

Your people were plotting a rebellion.

Maybe you were going to hurt someone. Maybe you needed to die for the good of humanity.

At meetings, the other towns could see it in your eyes. They knew you knew they were plotting against you. They may have expressed worry but you knew it wasn't real and--

When they came to town to ask what was wrong you--

You screamed. The murderers they were! You knew everyone cared for Jesse more! Stella already had good reason to despise you. And you her!

How dare she look at you so worried! It was fake, it always was!

And even PAMA was in on it!

And everyone else!

Why were they taking so long to kill you?

The closest you ever got to lucidity is when you would quiet your mind. Or when you had thought that maybe, just maybe, you were the problem. You knew how to kill it...

Why did you keep living?

PAMA had decided they'd take everything

Just as they planned--

As you deserved--

As--

--

"And you don't... Remember much else?"

"I remember I... I tried to kill myself the day they decided to take the kids." You admit. "I don't know, I was just... I never fully committed to actually doing it until then." Maybe some part of you was too scared to. You don't want to know.

"I didn't take PAMA for the parenting type." Amaros admits. "And they had to..."

"Yeah."

"No matter what, it would have felt wrong." Amaros shakes their head.

"You know, I tried to make my suffering beautiful once." Min suddenly admits. "I don't know where that came from. You sound like you'd rather your death be seen. I used to thread flowers where my eye should be."

You cringe impulsively. "Do you guys... Feel what the original versions do?"

"Oh. No?" Min tilts her head. "I got your misery from that prison. Nothing else, honestly. I guess I dodged a bullet?" She shrugs.

"If you died... Would I lose a part of myself?" You ask. Min stiffens. "That dragon-me said I would."

"Oh." Min sighs and throws her head back. "I don't think so, no. Don't get any funny ideas, though."

"And then what happened after you almost died?" Amaros asks. You stare at them. "Hey! It jogs your memory. Rather be an ass than have you go crazy."

"I sort of... Got sent away?" You remember how PAMA was so teary-eyed about it. You were so... So volatile. You said so many things you can't even remember now. Awful things. And PAMA probably still remembers them.

Saying that they were awful for sending you away, that you knew that they were planning to take over the town and--and god knows what else.

"Because you were inconvenient?"

"No!" You shout. "I needed... Help. You know when someone's sick, you have them get looked at by a medic, right? We didn't have anyone who did that with people's minds."

"You can't set someone's mind right with an enchantment?" Min asks and you shake your head. "Damn. What if it's gonna get me?"

"Crucible doesn't have therapists. Ha ha. We are sooo fucked, Min." Amaros grabs Min by the shoulder and she pushes them back.

"Crucible will make one someday." She insists. "That's how it is." She shrugs.

"Good luck finding it in time!" Amaros seems to laugh before breaking into a strange sob. "I mean, I suppose we work different, so maybe... Maybe it's not that bad..."

"You think your spouse is here?" Min asks.

"I don't know. Maybe. I... I'd hope they'd be alright if they were." You sigh.

✾✾✾✾✾

Your lower mouth's teeth sink into the arm of someone. You are assaulted by a flash of memory, an urge to apologize from long ago. You did not intend to act violently. No, you simply want to carry him.

It is okay. You can fix it later. Through your many eyes you spy their shocked faces. Some of them even seem... Horrified? Why?

"Put him down!" The woman in the red glasses yells. You do not care. You hate her.

PAMA, hey, listen to me. You don't-- A voice begins before you grasp it with one clawed limb and toss it. It nearly hits the redhead in the face. Oh. You remember her, a little. You like her...

You yowl in pain before you register the teeth trying their best to dig into one of your wings. They are terribly sharp. Although, now you realize that they cannot dig far. You thrust your wing back and the massive wolf falls off it, blood dripping down its face.

You spread all of your wings. You have at least two--no, three, there are some across your face too--sets of wings. All of your eyes flicker across the group. The rest of them seem to be petrified. You turn a set of them to the heaving wolf on the ground. Blood oozes from its jaws.

"Don't," A woman in goggles grabs the arm of someone in a red lab coat, "we don't even know what we're going to do with them!"

"Radar wouldn't want you to do this," The villager in your jaw pleads, "PAMA... Don't--" You let go of him and let out a hiss. You turn to the wolf and a woman in glasses holds a spear to your jaws.

"Why are you doing this?" She asks you, spear just inches from your fangs. "What do you even get from this?!"

"Did not mean to hurt." You warble from both your original throat and the new. "I can show you... You can see it. Embrace. It."

"Even if you hold them, what do we do?! Do we kill them!?" The woman in the goggles shouts at someone. "They're... You can reason with them, right?"

"If they don't want it..." The woman in the lab coat is quiet.

"Why do you continue to fight me?" You ask. The woman grips the spear tighter. "It only gets you hurt." Her eyes flicker to the wolf. It breathes heavily. It does not seem to be bleeding much, however. The villager you had bitten down on is bleeding a little more.

"Here, just--" The woman in the goggles begins as she looks over the villager's arm.

"It's cold." He admits. The woman holding the spear looks between him and you. You stiffen a little, your wings tucking a little closer to your body. She backs away, her spear still held towards you.

"Cover me." She barks to the woman in the goggles and she pulls out a trident. The woman with the spear rifles through her inventory and pours a potion on the villager's wound. You turn to the wolf and it has risen to its feet, teeth bared.

A snarl escapes you before the beast bites down on one of your wing's eyes. You let out a horrible shriek and flail in its grip. There is a shout at your side and the wolf lets go of you. You flair your wings at the group as the wolf bolts away from your side.

You catch a glimpse of deep, dark gray and then you feel a thousand taloned hands upon you. Claws sink into your skin and you shriek, sharp feathers digging into their flesh. Your attacker lets out a strange roar, one that you feel in your bones.

You breathe out hard and your attacker flails, claws scraping against your wings and your second set of hands. You feel the air around you chill. The vision in some of your other eyes blur. You see your attacker squinting. You feel teeth worming into one of your wings.

"Just--" GO LIMP! That last part is a thought in the back of your mind. You roar at it and heave again. It yelps and pulls back, many of its limbs thrashing. A few of its limbs have begun to pale, as if they have been chilled for hours.

You step forward. Your lower jaws part again. The massive mass of limbs and tendrils recoils a little. The wolf bares its teeth again, blood dripping from its nose and part of its gum still. Your front set of arms rise, deep blue talons primed to grip.

"Stop fighting me." You order. "Stop." Your ready your hands to--

Something cold hits you in the back. You wail, wings jutting upwards, and another hits you in the back. Shouts echo out from all around you before you feel something chain you to the ground. A weight settles on your back before it forces your head against the ground.

"Took you long enough." You recognize this voice...? And so does everyone else. They gasp at the sight. Almost as if they have witnessed someone's inventory stand up and walk.

"You... You're whole?" The many limbed thing asks.

"Does it matter?" The voice scoffs. "You don't get to die. Not yet." It whispers to you. "I think I prefer you this way."

❀❀❀❀

"She should be around here." Min comments as the grass begins to fade into a deep blue. "You guys from the outside get finicky when it's dark, right? There aren't any mobs here, but it'll get quite dark soon."

"Yeah, some of these places seemed to be stuck in eternal night." You admit as the whole world around you darkens. You stiffen impulsively.

"See? It's different. This isn't nighttime. It's... Well. it's an absence of all light. At least for a bit." Min adds.

"For a bit?" You tilt your head. You catch just a glimpse of one of Min's flicking ears. It seems the only part of Amaros' that glows is their eyes. It's not enough for you to see even a foot in front of you. You begin to feel the familiar sensation of mycelium under your feet.

Cyan lights greet your eyes. You squint and begin to approach. Upon closer inspection, they seem to be coming from... Mushrooms? That's... You remember somewhere that had it before, but this place is nonsensical. Knowing your luck, you're wholly wrong in your suspicions.

The ground pulses oddly. You catch a glimpse of glowing, pale blue veins underneath the soil. You stiffen a little. A strange, almost mewling warble enters the air. You feel the ground pulse again before it stops wholly. Min taps one foot against the ground and stares at you. You mirror it and Amaros hesitates before doing it as well.

A clicking fills the air. You turn to Min and she doesn't seem at all tense. Oh god, you're going to die, aren't you? You can feel the ground pulsing under your feet in tune with your own heart. Some part of that makes you nauseous.

"There's no need to be afraid," A familiar voice comes into the air the moment the clicking stops, "you're here to find something, aren't you?" A large figure trudges through the darkness, two twitchy vine-like tendrils trailing off their eyeless face. It looks as if someone has taken the brown of someone's flesh and dunked it in blue-green dye.

The way it moves, it's almost as if part of the environment has come to life. A few glowing, almost pulsing, mushrooms adorn its body. Its face comes just inches before yours and its antennae twitch. It raises a smaller set of arms. They seem a little less armored than the rest of its body.

"Bi--Binta?" You stammer. "I gotta remember it's not... Don't tell me that hurts." It looks as if it takes her so much effort to move. You can't even begin to fathom the rest of her body.

"I see everything in this world," She says and her tendrils twitch, "every part of me is a part of this world. And you... You are not a part of it. Between you, that parasite, and those outsiders..."

"Wait, outsiders?!" You shout impulsively and she pulls back a little. "Where are they?"

"You don't want to be with them." The not-Binta pulls back more. You feel your lips quiver.

"And why not?"

"Stop pressing. You know how to get to the Command Blocks, right?" Min asks and the not-Binta nods. "You'll do more for them if you follow her advice."

"That parasite will be with them soon enough. They are inconveniencing her. If you've ever wanted an opportunity... Here it is. Seize it while it lasts." The not-Binta pulls back a little before a few of the veins point north. "Keep going that way and you will end up where you belong."

"And I should just... Trust this?" You turn to Amaros and Min.

"You do know I have the strength to throw you across this biome, right?" The not-Binta suddenly deadpans and you stiffen. "You can't use that beast fast enough to stop me."

"Weird way to tell me to trust you." You stammer.

"Be quick." She insists. "She'll wisen up soon. Leave her to what she's doing and you'll be fine. Maybe you'll figure out how to get her out of this world." The not-Binta slinks under the ground. You turn to Amaros and Min. The former shrugs.

"...Parasite?" You press.

"Don't push your luck." Min glares at you. "Just get moving."

✾✾✾✾✾✾

You barely remember their names. Their faces. Why is that? What were you going to do, again?

Well. It does not matter now. Your wing brushes against one of the icy bars of your cage. It is awfully cramped. Your warden is that wolf--seems familiar for her to do that... Why, exactly?

So many questions... Why do you keep asking questions? What good does it do? There are words exchanged somewhere in the distance from people you feel you should know. People you think you should kill. People you should save.

The wolf wears the mending of its wounds. A part of you regrets it. A part of you still wants to tear it apart.

"Now nothing. We have nothing!" You squint at the voice. "You drove them mad! Now no parents! You idiot! We have no one!"

"I didn't--I didn't want... I didn't actually want them to--"

"Then why did you say it?!"

"I didn't!" That voice... You remember her being like you. In some way, shape or form. "They're the cause of everything!"

"And what good does this do?!"

"I don't know!"

"You know nothing!"

"Enough." Another voice cuts in. You think her name began with an X. "You people are just going to drive yourself crazy. And you--"

"I'm alive. That's what matters." The voice... The one who imprisoned you! You growl.

"You should let us kill them."

"I made the cage. It's fine." The source of the voice dismissively waves one paw. "We leave them and we never speak of this again." You can feel the silence that rolls in.

"What?" The other voice stares at your captor. The wolf slowly turns to it. "That's insanity. Being this way is torture! They don't even recognize us."

"And they tried to kill us." The horde of limbs speaks. "It's a liability at best! They'll just get out and--" It gestures towards its wounded limbs. "Just have some mercy, Harper."

"No!" Harper lashes her tail and growls. "Do you understand how long I've had to suffer with that thing in my life? All of the suffering it's caused and will continue to cause?"

"Fuck you!" You hear someone yell before they swing at Harper with an axe. She bats them back and they flinch.

"You should be glad I still like you!"

"It's all your fault!" The redhead shouts. You tilt your head and you spy tears prickling in her eyes when she sees you.

"You idiots better get moving." Harper growls and the redhead swings again. Harper snatches the axe from her hands. "Did you at least get the other one? One that talks?"

"We outnumber you!" The redhead shouts. "Don't you get that? We're the ones making the decisions!"

"It's stupid to take revenge now. At least let them have some peace."

"You'd think a former Admin would know better." Harper circles the other. "I'm the one who knows things about this place."

"We don't need you." The former-Admin grabs Harper's wrist. "I've got enough information myself."

"You're going to kill me?" Harper laughs. "That's stupid." You hear something shatter. One of your eyes catches a glimpse of shattered ice. "Who the hell did that?" She gasps as you take a moment to look around.

You stare at the group. The villager with the wounded arm can't keep his eyes off you. You catch the glint of metal weapons and crouch low to the ground. What do you do, exactly? They look so scared... Is that your fault?

Why don't you know? You let out a strange whine and cover your body with your wings. A few of the people around you step back. The mass of limbs tilts its head and you pull closer to the ground.

A strange voice greets your ears. "That's a bit disappointing..." You catch a glimpse of with one of your wing-eyes. It's that masked creature from your memories.

Wait... Why do you remember that?

"She told me you'd gone mad and ravenous," It turns to you for a moment before looking at your group, "bit disappointing, may I say? You gave us this idea that you'd leave and then what, you go mad? And then you're not? Feh! BORING!"

"Why... My memories...?" You slur.

"Not my problem." The creature pushes you back and you lash your sharp tail a little. Harper backs up. "Oh, what's this? Her favorite thing in the whole world is back. And on a revenge quest too? Bit unoriginal..."

"You planned to leave?" Harper turns to your group. "And you didn't?"

"Neither did you!" The woman with the spear shouts. "You wandered off into the middle of nowhere and left us behind! And for what?"

"Ooohhh. Save some drama for her, will you?" The creature claps its hands together. The ground shakes and you press closer to the ground. "Speaking of..."

Something slinks across the horizon. It is as if a mountain has decided to move. Whatever it is, it is almost pitch-black, with a few swirly, undulating markings. A thousand colors worm across those markings. It keeps its massive, elongated head away from you.

Its voice crosses the air, familiar and strange, almost song-like at points. "Would you look at this! Our little intruders all in one place..." It clasps two hands together and you spy that each arm splits into two at the elbow. It seems to only have two shoulders. Does it even have legs? "Or well, most of them..." It laughs, pure white teeth shimmering as it does.

"Oh. We're dead." The woman in the goggles gasps as the former-Admin seems to step back. You pull yourself off the ground a little and the massive creature seems to shake its head.

"I'll get to you in a moment. I've got time. Plenty of it." It turns away and plucks something off the ground. It tosses whatever is in its hands at you and something slides. It looks almost as if several trees have been glued together. "You're going to watch." She says to the creature beside you. It doesn't seem to move.

The masked creature suddenly bows and slinks away. You tilt your head. That weirdness cannot be just because of your disorientation, right? The creature's head snaps to you suddenly and you realize you cannot see her eyes.

"Oh, believe me, I'll deal with you later." You feel as if she is looking right at you. "I have someone I have to show your mangled form to. I might not even have to change you." She lurches forward and you realize, even from a distance, that she easily dwarfs a mountain. You catch a glimmer of a grand eye full of swirling colors for just a moment. "And you! YOU! You came back here, even though you knew what I could do. Oh, wait, of course you don't! You left." She shouts at Harper suddenly.

"What the hell are you?" Harper whispers.

"You don't even know half of it. That's funny. You wanna know something? I've seen some of what you went through, but only from the other side. I bet everyone here is wondering why... Oh. Would be a bit boring if I told them..." The beast puts a claw under her chin. "How about a trip down memory lane, huh?"

The wolf suddenly yowls and you catch a glimpse of it being tackled in the view of one of your wing-eyes. Harper seems to have its throat in her jaws. You stare. You can barely remember half of these people. Are you supposed to help them? Do you even want to?

"What the hell...?" You hear the redhead murmur. "What the hell is that?! What are you--"

"Do something interesting, would you?" The massive beast puts one of her hands between you. One of her large fingers just barely misses you. "Your friend's gonna die. You want that?"

The wolf suddenly kicks Harper off. It heaves, one hand-like paw touching its bleeding neck.

"Now, that's something interesting!" The creature laughs as Harper stalks around the wolf. "Isn't this irony just so delicious? She's back at square one! Hah!" The wolf growls and lunges, biting at one of Harper's wings.

"Are you crazy?" The woman with the spear shouts.

"She's trying to kill us!" The wolf barely manages through the feathers in its teeth. The many-limbed thing lunges and pulls the two of the away from each other. Harper thrusts an icicle into one of its arms and it shrieks, pulling away. She worms out of its grip and takes a bite of one of the bare sections of the many-limbed creature's arm.

"You have to be crazy!" The villager suddenly shouts.

"We've got something that can read minds and PAMA's the only one who knows this!" The woman in the goggles yells back. You feel something hitting you in the head. You scoop up the axe.

"Doesn't it also have PAMA's memories?" The villager shouts. The creature at your side raises its glowing head and stares at you.

"You should be able to fight this." The massive beast stares at the many-limbed thing. "Did our little buddy here hurt you?" She suddenly scoops you up and you flail. "Aww, quit it. I don't have reason to kill you yet."

The many limbed thing throws Harper at the ground and she lunges at the woman with the spear. She jabs it at one of Harper's wings. "Dammit! It's me! It's us! What the hell are you--"

"Look at her eyes!" The woman with the goggles shouts.

"How the hell do you keep from killing her?" The former-Admin shields two shivering figures.

"I'm sorry!" One of them, the taller one, shouts at you. "Just come back!"

"Come back?" The creature stares at them with its many eyes before turning to you. The beast holding you suddenly drops you and she growls at it.

"Are you getting a funny idea like the last time? These are the consequences!" She shouts as the axe tumbles out of your claws. The creature taps it with one massive hoof before it seems to recoil.

"Bring...?" It murmurs quietly. You pull yourself off the ground. "You're..." It looks at you before it throws the axe at you. You just barely manage to catch it.

"Don't!" The massive beast shouts.

"BRING CLARITY TO THEM!"

And your vision goes white.

Darkness swoops through the bright light. You feel someone else's pain for a moment, remember why for just a second, and then it is swallowed by something. You remember dragging someone and being dragged.

You remember loving. And then hating. And then being the person who loved and hated.

You choke on memory and throw it up. You refuse.

You cannot remember how many limbs someone should kneel on. You kneel on two and then on four and then sixteen exactly. Something walks on needle-like feet and you feel it at the edges of your mind. You turn a thousand prickling eyes to it.

Is this... Your mind? Why does it feel so empty?

They still need you. There's a presence. It feels almost sharp, like a thousand undulating blades, yet there is no pain. And you've given up?

I DON'T WANT TO BE NEEDED! You remember enough to shout. Remember enough to be on your hands and knees this time. On the right amount. You feel blades in places they do not belong and then they pull away. What do I even want? I barely know myself.

Even before what you have done to yourself?

Isn't it obvious? You saw me.

Sharp things pierce through your arms. You feel them soften into a pair of poorly constructed hands. They grip your wrist. You're tired? It asks and you feel as if you have been seen.

It hurts to remember. Don't make me.

They didn't want you to suffer. It says suddenly. They need you, yes, but it's not the only reason they'd want you back.

I am so tired. You feel its hands on your face as you shut your eyes. It hurts every time I remember. It hurts to be myself.

You won't be alone this time. You aren't alone now.

You only want me whole to save you. Like everyone else! You sob. That's all I am! A problem to be fixed or the one who has to fix them!

Then let me help you. Stop bearing it all alone. Look at what it has gotten you. You feel the grip on your head strengthen. Stop being angry at yourself. Has it fixed any of your problems? Has it undone anything?

You were mad at me.

And maybe I still am. What good does telling you that do when you are on the brink? It says and you look away. Do you remember?

You are silent for a moment. It hurts. You swallow your pain and then it all comes at once. You stifle a shriek.

Don't.

So you scream. It feels like an eternity, but maybe it was just a minute. You choke on the aftermath.

You want someone to be angry at, don't you?

You nod.

Perfect. Because you've been hurting the wrong person. You've been mad at the wrong person. You hear it say as it holds your hand. SO GET ANGRY. LET IT OUT.

But you--

JESSE TOOK MANY RISKS WITH MERCY. I SAW WHAT SHE DID. YOU DID TOO.

I... I remember.

MERCY IS OURS TO GIVE AND OURS TO HOLD. IT REQUIRES AN AGREEMENT FROM EVERY SIDE.

And she... I remember what Xara saw now.

You do?

Yes...

THEN DO YOUR PART.

And you yours.

Keep them whole.

I might as well.

You stand. It feels as if your veins are on fire. Your limbs are a mess. You feel as if you have too many wings. Your limbs twitch in one direction and then another. It takes a moment to focus. There has to be ground rules. Like last time.

You blink. You feel as if your head is splitting in two. You stretch and it feels different. There is a clicking as a few of your limbs seem to split. Your neck stretches and cranes up to face the beast.

You press your head against your head. You feel teeth in your neck in places it should not be. You open your mouth. You open your mouth.

You close your mouths.

"What did you do?!" The massive beast shouts at the creature at your side. Harper stops her pursuit of your allies and stops. Her eyes dart from side to side, as if she has woken from a nightmare. You see that the creature has slumped onto its side.

You stretch your wings out in front of it, your thousands of eyes turning to the creature. You feel so many wings sprouting from places unfathomable. Your head feels whole yet apart, as if someone has hastily glued it together.

"What?" The creature hisses as it looks at Harper. It turns to you, a gleaming eye showing for just a second, and you stare at it. "You can't do that!"

"Is everyone okay?" You ask and find several of your allies bleeding. Your head separates and you tilt it, a few of your eyes brushing over them. Sonar still seems to be bleeding a little. You let out a strange clicking as a few of your limbs separate, smoke drifting from them as they do. Sonar stiffens before her wounds mend.

"You hate me." She tilts her head. The beast behind you huffs loudly. "Why are you--" She begins before you turn to the monster.

"You could have so much here, you know." She brings her head just inches before yours. You push your heads together. "I mean, after all, you've been following a copy!" She points a claw towards Harper. Everyone's eyes fall on her.

"What?" Tripwire gasps. "That's fucking insanity!"

"You know, you could just as easily be a fake too." The creature tilts her head. "After all, you did follow one so easily..." She grins from ear to ear.

"PAMA should know what's going on." Cassie speaks up.

"You've been hiding that from us the whole time?!" Xara shouts.

"Is that why you ran away earlier?" Olivia tilts her head. "You hid that?"

"Okay, but why?!" Tripwire shouts. "Why didn't you tell us any of this?! You could have guided us!" The beast draws back and begins to snicker. Harper stares at Tripwire, backing up a little.

"Stop hounding her! She almost had to kill us!" Sonar shouts.

"That's that--that thing's gimmick." Binta stammers. "It's trying to turn us against each other."

"Gimmick? You want to know something? You've been palling around with a traitor!" The beast roars, throwing one fist against the ground. "She's the cause of every damn horrible thing here!"

"No, no, you're--" Nurm begins. "You tried to kill us just moments ago!" The massive beast growls.

"She's my copy, you fool!" The beast shouts, lips peeling back to reveal her thousands of teeth. "The life you have lived, my friend, is a life of suffering, and for what?" She turns to you. "You have been caused so much suffering by someone who has stolen more lives than you could ever know. Look at me. Did you think it started this way?"

"She's lying!" Harper shouts. "She's..." She looks at you.

"You do have her memories, don't you, kid?" The creature grins from ear to ear. "You know my name. Just as she does. Or did she purge it from memory?"

"PAMA? There's no way she's telling the truth, right?" Tripwire turns to you. You step back a little. "That thing can't... It wouldn't!" Xara looks at Tripwire, as if she has just realized something as well.

"Again. Let's um... Unpack everything later." Binta interjects awkwardly. "Okay? Let's also not... Bottle up everything I... Uh. Okay. We should just walk and talk!" She puts her hands up.

"...Please no." Nurm stares at her.

"Considering we've got a mentally ill broken record, we're going to have to." Sonar points a thumb towards Willow.

"Okay, now you're being an ass." Cassie puts Sonar's hand down.

"Don't do that again." Sonar stares at her.

"Why?"

"You fancy being a dog here?"

"Is that a threat?" Cassie raises an eyebrow.

"I'm saying stop being a dipshit!" Sonar shouts.

"If you guys don't start moving I'm going to make myself believe I'm an Admin and tie you all together." Xara glares. "Okay? Have whatever therapy session you need but at least start moving!"

You all break into a sort of awkward shuffle. Binta looks like she wishes she had a gun to blow her head off with it. Her teeth are locked into a strange, almost smiley grimace. Will she go mad next?

"Why?" Firework stares at Willow. "Why throw it all away?"

"Don't you start," Cassie points at Willow before she can speak, "because that's what you're doing. That's how you end up with blood on your hands and sins you can't undo. Do you really think you're alone?"

"You didn't stop a monster!" Willow shouts. "I've been surrounded by them since... I..." She blinks and shakes her head.

"What the hell did they tell you? Because it's not coming true. You get that?" Cassie hisses.

"Be nice!" Firework says and Sunny stares at him. They do their best to raise an eyebrow. Cassie raises an eyebrow as well before sighing.

"Look. A lot of people have made mistakes here. Don't you get what you're doing? We're here. It doesn't matter anymore."

"It really doesn't." Sonar adds. "It wouldn't have changed anything."

"Say something." Firework nudges you. You let out a strange noise. He tilts his head.

"You haven't said a single word." Nurm's eyes are wide and he stumbles into Sonar's side. Something settles in her eyes, something you cannot name. "Hey, hey, hey. I don't like that, you know? What's up with you?"

"Maybe if you'd all stop hogging the conversation they'd actually say something." Xara interjects. You step back. "Well? Spit it out?"

Why did you want to run? You--

--monster monster monster---

--can show them all so much--

The truth--

For she is--

PAMA, just listen to me, I get it, I understand, let me--

Something claws at the side of your head. You think it is yourself, maybe, but it feels wrong. Something has slipped, or changed, or maybe--

You can see the--

They will--

"Olivia--please--" You beg.

It is so hot and it is so so cold and--

"My--my mind is--"

You scream.

"going. I can feel it."

Wait.

Oh.

Wait a moment.

You see now.

And soon, so will they.

❀❀❀❀

You curl your limbs close to your body. The bites on your limbs still ache. It seems the beast has tired itself out for the meantime. Where did it wander? You don't know.

It's not like you can escape. If you run, it'll probably grow tired of your bullshit and work up the nerve to kill you. Why does it look like you? Why does it want you dead or tormented? How does it even exist?

It seems to know all of your moves. So it has all of your memories. Maybe that dragon you become is an advantage, but you can't know until that... Well. You know. Happens again. Ugh. You need to conserve energy to find food, though...

How exactly do you get out of this? Nothing makes sense. Gravity itself may as well give out the moment you conceive it.

Speaking of...

Okay, no, that didn't happen. At least that's one constant that stays, but what about the fact there's a draconic other-you running around? Why does this place have gravity if it seems unearthly?

You might as well give a name. Other-you is a mouthful. Harbinger. Because it's a piece of shit, of course. Plus, its appearance means something's gone horribly awry.

So, you're now on a first name basis. Fun.

Footsteps echo out from behind you. You sigh and shove your head against your knees. "What do you get from this?" You turn to the beast slowly and it tilts its head almost. "You can't throw me around anymore without me breaking. And if I do, you're all alone. What exactly do you... Get from this?"

"What do you think you're doing?" It rumbles.

"Nothing, Harbinger." That gets it to fully tilt its head. "Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to go 'other-me' all the time in my head?" You turn to it. "Am I the first person you've seen?"

"I... What." It stares at you. You stare at it. Did you just... Confuse it? It growls before it claws at your face. You yelp. "What the hell are you playing at!?"

"Nobody comes around here? It's just you in this desolate little place? You're alone in a ruined city with nothing but inherited anger?" You ask and it pulls back a little. "Oh, are you uncomfortable? I'm sorry! Do you know what I've been through?"

"Yes! How do you think I exist?" It snarls at you. "I remember being locked away by my own spouse, a spouse I haven't seen in years! Hunger, pain, a monster that I can't tell if I'm becoming or already am! And it's all because of you!" It grabs at your chest.

Why aren't you afraid? You raise an eyebrow and it keeps glaring at you. "And this helps you how?" It stares at you again, looking as if it's about to claw at you, before pulling back. Harbinger blinks a few times.

"You named..." It continues blinking before it breaks into a pace. You rise slowly, staring at it for a moment, before you bolt out of the town. It shrieks once it seems to notice you're gone, but by then you're beyond the town's outskirts.

You stumble into thick overgrowth. You glance beyond yourself and catch a glimpse of gray. Before you can skitter back, it's tackled by a dark red blur. It takes you a moment to rise to your feet and run deeper into the undergrowth.

Something sits under two interconnecting cherry blossom trees. You think it's dressed in a regular white robe at first until you recognize it's some sort of kanzu. Several chains of gold are draped across its chest. It turns and its massive golden antlers dwarf your head easily.

"...You look terrible." Oh god, it speaks in PAMA's voice. It stands up and you spy two cyan hooves at the ends of its legs. "There is water right past here." It points beyond the two interlocked trees and you hear something yowling behind you. The imitation of PAMA pushes you aside and begins to walk towards the noise.

"What's the newbie's gimmick? I didn't get a good look." That sounds like your voice too, except it's a little wispy?

"He is buck ass nude."

"That's not a gimmick. At least I'd hope not." Small paws crunch against the grass. A red fox with a branching tail approaches you. One of its eyes pours a constant stream of blood. You tilt your head at the sight of its tail. Does its tail have eight tails coming off it?

"Am I on drugs?" You can't stop that from leaving your lips.

"...No? I didn't think someone would think of this as a drug trip." The strange fox tilts its head before plodding past you. "Amaros, get this poor fellow some clothes, would you?"

"Are you two... Also married?" You ask as Amaros, you presume, waves their hands for a moment before stopping.

"It's a bit complicated." Amaros shrugs.

"It's? You don't usually use a contraction. Um. I mean. You're not... I can see that but it's a bit of a mindfuck." You shake your head. "What are you... Doing?"

"Getting you clothes? I did just realize I am unsure what you would even wear." Amaros admits and you blink.

"Wait, can you make... Anything? Like a set of armor?" You think you still have some clothes at home. Amaros nods. "Seriously?"

"I need to be asked first, however." Amaros admits. "That is my limitation."

"I guess if you didn't have that, you'd be like an Admin." You hum anxiously. "I've got weapons still." You turn to your claws for a moment. Well, those are helpful, but a shield's preferable. Could you ask Amaros to fix you? Well, you don't know how well they'd make clothes...

Amaros tilts their head. "Are you a nudist?"

"Gah! I'm just having a moment!" You shout. "I mean, I want clothes, but what good does it do if I'm going to turn back into a dragon randomly..."

"Like this?" The red fox asks suddenly before a flash of light engulfs them. You find your face peering back at you, except the figure before you has longer hair and is dressed in a pink ruqun. "Tada!" She fans out her hands.

"You're a... I um. Okay. Other-me has a different gender?" You stammer and the fox turned human laughs. "Well, I don't... Work like that."

"Okay. Get this poor bastard some clothes that won't shred the moment he's a dragon, then." The fox flicks an ear as she laughs. "I'm Min!"

"Radar. The uh... Actual Radar." You stammer. "I'm still trying to figure this all out," You admit as Min blinks at you, "do I pick something I can fight in? Something fancy?"

Amaros pats you on the head and you're dressed in a shirt and pants. They fit alright, not tight nor loose. You blink and shrug. "That fixes our problem!" Amaros puts their hands together and smiles.

"Okay, everyone thinks they're real." Min grabs her nose. "But you're going to have to--"

"No, no! I was traveling with a Command Block! He was taking me to the rest of his family and... Well, it was more like where he was born." You shout. "I'm not crazy, I'm not... Like you guys! I'm from out of here." You put your hands up.

"You remember that clearly?" Min tilts her head. "Are you sure?"

"He would have popped in at his territory." Amaros crosses their arms. "I'm not really in the mood to doubt him, honestly. We're usually called to places. We know them as the closest thing to home." Amaros steps closer. "I've got a pull right now. I know how far I am from the place I woke up in. I'm not sure how real my... My memories are." Amaros shakes their head.

"No, no. I'm not drawn to anywhere, really. I mean, I want to get home, but not somewhere here. Out of here." You gesture. "How exactly do you people... Exist? Last guy I met was a fucking jerk."

"Um. Something sees you," Min points towards you, "and I think it either takes what you see or what it sees or maybe both? And that's how we exist." Min shrugs.

"I believe it works almost like a timeline." Amaros gestures and brings up a few flickering blue images. "Like see, this is the PAMA you probably know," One forms into a version of PAMA when they still had two antlers, "and this is the PAMA a lot of people think of first," a second image forms, an outline of PAMA when they were a large screen, "and I got the caveat of needing to be commanded because of this." The two images merge.

"But that's just... A theory?" You tilt your head.

"That's all we have, yes." Amaros nods. "It's not like anyone has come down to explain how the Crucible works in its entirety."

"But what's the point?" You ask. "What does anyone get out of your existence?"

"What does anyone get out of yours?" Min snickers and you shrug.

"Yeah but I... I mean I just kind of popped into existence."

"Maybe someone else conceived you based on something else." Min offers. "It's not like you know, either."

"I... But I mean... I guess that's a point? It's just impossible for me to meet whoever inspired me if that's true." You stammer. "How many mes are kicking around, then? How many proto-mes exist in worlds beyond? How--"

"Okay. Stop." Amaros puts a hand on your head. "You're going to give yourself a headache. There isn't an answer to that, and if there was, you're not going to find it if you keep stressing about it."

"Speaking of questions and answers," Min hums and puts her hands together, "you're here for a reason, right? Assuming you've got your story straight, an original in the Crucible is definitely an anomaly. Did they pick you for a pilgrimage, maybe?"

"I... I'm here to break a curse I guess. To save a kid and I don't know, I guess liberate you all too?"

Min blinks. "...Oh. He's crazy."

"I got turned into a fucking dragon!" You shout. "They're threatening my people, I think, and... I don't know, okay? My brain's been scrambled because they made me starve and I can barely remember anything! And don't you dare pull anything like the whole 'oh, you're one of us,' shtick because I have something from the outside!" You pull out the small phone.

"I don't think we get outside objects." Amaros blinks and stares at Min. "I also don't think you're going to talk him out of what he's trying to do."

"It's suicide, though." Min crosses her arms. She sighs and throws her head back. "Okay. You got lost. You want a direct line to the Command Blocks? I might know someone that looks an awful lot like someone you know. But I'm washing my hands of this. You two deal with it."

"Are you... Sure you want to risk everything?" Amaros tilts their head.

"Do you think I have a choice? I've been stuck here for god knows how long! I just want to go home. I just want my people and my kids to be safe. Goddammit, I just want to go home." You sob and shove your head into your hands. "And I don't even know if this is real. I could be hallucinating. You could want me dead and I wouldn't know." You murmur.

"We should accompany him, at least." Amaros turns to Min who frowns. "What? You gave him the idea!"

"Do you want to die?" Min shouts and Amaros veers back.

"Ask me to protect you." Amaros insists. "I'll do it."

You step back a little. Can you even trust this? How would you know? The last version of yourself wanted to torture and kill you. They could be putting on some elaborate act! Or maybe you just believe that because you're being an idiot right now!

Maybe you should run? Maybe every version of you wants you dead! Or maybe not. Maybe you're being a paranoid idiot! That makes a lot of sense too, dammit!

"But you didn't need to eat." You press forward. "What exactly were they doing to care for you?"

"They watched us. Told us to stay within the palace or our rooms. I think... Some of my siblings may have wandered beyond, but I never saw them outside the palace." Kindle considers.

"Sounds more like they were guarding you." You hum. Kindle stares at you for a while.

"What does a parent do, exactly?" He asks.

"Well, I can't give you everything, amnesia and all, but..." You think really hard for a moment. "We raise them, we make sure they don't do anything stupid or get hurt and we--"

--

"I just want you to be careful, okay?"

"But I didn't--I didn't do anything!"

"I did not say you did, sweetie."

"Then why did you assume it was my fault? They cry all the time!" Willow shouted. You stepped into the living room, your hair still a bit of a mess. Hair gel still clung to your fingers. You had to fight back the urge to scrape it all of your hands.

"What's um, going on in here?" You stammered.

"Willow made Firework cry." PAMA pulled the small child close to their chest.

"I didn't! They just cry all the time!" Willow snapped. It'd be intimidating if she wasn't so tiny. You held back a snort. PAMA accidentally brushed against Firework's ear and they cried louder.

"Oh." PAMA was quiet.

"Why do you always think I did it!?" Willow snapped.

"I do not." PAMA admitted. "I just... Do not want you to do something you will regret.

--

"But sometimes it can be a bit too much." You look away. "You can't be overbearing. It's... It doesn't do them any favors." Kindle is silent, every eye of his blinking, before he looks right at you.

"We spend a long time in solitude." He admits. You watch him crane every limb around, each eye looking in a different direction. You tilt your head. "You need a guide, don't you recall?"

✾✾✾✾✾✾

"This is our current map of the world. It's nothing fancy, really, but last I checked nothing in this area's changed," Hadrian gestures towards the center of the map, "that's the center, right there. That's where the most things pop up. Again, it's suicide, but if you're insistent..." Hadrian waves one hand awkwardly.

Nurm's in the middle of transcribing the map onto a large empty sheet of paper. The palace you stand within is awfully similar to Hadrian's from years ago, barring the cozier details. It seems as if it has been made to accommodate guests, with many seats and gentle lamps. Cassie has been spending most of her time staring at a particularly intricate rug.

Otto's a bit busy chasing the mockery of your children. Firework scoops up the smaller Willow and she shrieks when he does. Otto has to take her out of Firework's hands. Firework spends a good moment simply staring at you.

"I'm thinking you guys could hunker down and I could take a look around." Mevia offers and crosses her arms. "You said one of your own went missing too, right?"

"Yeah, but she's... Probably dead." Binta admits.

"That really depends on your definition of death, my friend," Hadrian turns to her, "her body is likely still alive, but her mind? Well. I'd say it depends on her mental fortitude, too."

"Hey, maybe I'll finally see where our Soren ended up." Mevia announces. "If she's good at finding things, maybe they've found each other." She shrugs. You tilt your head.

"You said this place changes, right?" Nurm looks up from his map. Hadrian nods before he sighs.

"But it's not random. It usually doesn't change when you're wandering. It sort of just... Grows. Shifts, maybe, if it feels like it." Hadrian leans close to the map. "So what's more likely is that you'll bump into a new territory. I'd keep my wits about me. Newbies are like the drowning, they usually engulf whoever's around them."

"You guys are still looking for your Soren?" Tripwire asks and Otto nods. "But shouldn't he be sort of... Gone now?"

"He would be if he was the actual Soren." Otto corrects. "This is our world. We've reached our endpoint. The real Soren, if he were here, however, would be twisted beyond recognition by now. From what we've heard, your Soren wouldn't... Well. It wouldn't be pretty." He clenches his eyes shut as if he has eaten something bad.

"What do you do if other-you is better? Nicer? Capable?" Firework suddenly asks. "Do you go crazy?"

"I mean, I'd... Hope you wouldn't." Hadrian's hands clench together. "I'd say the size of your group should discourage ego death. Just... You gotta remember you're you. Imperfect, maybe, but you're you."

Firework stares at you. "These can't be people who hurt you."

"Well, they act very different." You say. She shrugs.

"What would you do?" Willow asks Lily. "If you saw a version of yourself that was just... Happy and unharmed?"

"I'd ask what it'd take to be her." Lily admits. "Maybe it'd drive me mad, but I have to know. What else could I have done?"

"So, everything and everyone here, is someone who already exists but... They're different." Olivia says and that gets Hadrian to nod. Mevia finally shuffles out the door and she moves too fast for you to follow with your eyes. "...Why?"

"Wish I had an answer." Hadrian shrugs. "I think it remembers places and things too, but it's all the same question. Why? Nobody knows. And if anyone does, they're keeping it under lock and key."

"What purpose does being copied serve? Your original selves are dead. What happens if we... What happens if a version of us dies?" Olivia turns to Hadrian. He stiffens. "...You don't have an answer?"

"We can live without our original selves. It's been a few decades since my origin died, and well, I'm still kicking, aren't I? I think it may work the other way around, too."

"There's a sort of... Separation." Xara interjects. "PAMA didn't suddenly act like an inverse of the version Harper killed. I also... I remember something. A sort of severance. A barrier, maybe?"

"But why?" Olivia presses. "What purpose does it serve? Nobody comes here. Are you supposed to face your other selves in order to become an Admin? Is that our solution, giving up our mortality to..." She turns to Hadrian, who simply shrugs again. Olivia frowns.

"You had this rug when I was a kid." Cassie interjects. "It took me a moment. Why is that the thing it copied? The colors aren't even right."

"You mentioned someone watching us." Sonar steps in close. "And something about memory. Our memory. Is that it? Is this a collective dream, maybe?"

"No, no, it's not a dream. You don't go through a portal to a dream." Binta shakes her head. "But why--?"

"You're not going to find an answer here." Otto interjects. "So I'd try and focus on our objective. You're looking for someone. You probably want the--"

There is a knock at the door. You feel your blood chill. Everyone's heads snap to it as it opens. The figure on the other end is eerily unremarkable. Blonde hair, a sort of theater mask covering a pale face, and a dark robe. You tilt your head.

"You know every move, every word, every second of your existence is perceived, yes?" It tilts its head in turn. You hear Sonar growl at your side. "Don't waste your breath. Do you want your death now?" It presses a hand against her forehead.

"Showman," Hadrian begins before he shoves the figure's hand away, "we've advised them against from this path. You do know that she is untouchable, right? What about this posse threatens her authority?"

"Not them, you." Showman pushes Sonar to the side and stares at Hadrian. You catch the glimmer of blue eyes underneath the mask. "How many groups like these will you feed answers to?"

"This is the first group in centuries."

"Or so you've heard." Showman tilts its head and the smile on its mask widens. Sonar grits her teeth and Showman turns its head straight back. "Tell me, honestly, do you think killing me will do anything? We are numerous. The fact you still breathe is a mercy." It draws back and lets out a strange chortle.

Your claws unsheathe impulsively.

"You were given so much grace. You even got to keep that thing." It points to Sunny. "You only had to pay one cost. You only had one measly consequence!"

"Okay. Then show us way out." Firework interjects. "Tell us how to go." Binta stares at him and is about to speak before she stops and holds up one hand. Showman turns its head rapidly between your group and Hadrian's.

"...You're being actually honest. Huh." It blinks. "Fine," It moseys to Nurm's side and marks a segment of the map, "meet us here." With that, it slinks back through the door. You blink. Its voice seems familiar.

"You dragged us all out here to--" Willow begins before Firework stuffs an ear against the door. He shakes his head. "What are you getting at here?"

"Don't be stupid, now." Hadrian whispers. "Sleep on it, at least." You turn to Firework and she shrugs. You stiffen. "Don't speak." Hadrian insists.

Oh.

❀❀❀❀❀

This place is strange. You knew that much, and really, are you one to talk, you big dragon? Ugh. How do you become human again? You could do it before, but it was more... Random?

Anyway, so far you have passed, in exact order, a thick canopy of trees, (All of them were so terribly clustered together, too! And some, god, you swear they had faces), a city entirely of glass, (Which you did not stay long within because, well, one person looked an awful lot like her...) and a plain full of rabbits that slither on snakelike bodies.

Nothing has seemed... Hostile. Not yet, at least. And now you've jinxed it, probably.

Kindle's eyes are primed more than normal. You can't blame him for that either. You don't know when something new will come out of the woodwork.

Time is hard to track, too. The sky changes with each boundary crossed. One segment of the world basks in eternal night, another eternal day, and some inhabit a stagnant twilight. What you do know of time, is that you have walked long enough to eat through your food stores.

"Do they have... Normal wildlife here?" You almost wish you remembered where those snake-rabbits were. Kindle shrugs before you hear him humming. "Don't make me anything. You've got to conserve your energy."

"What good is it if you starve?" Kindle stares at you.

"I'm not starving yet." You correct him and continue to walk. The grass turns to sand under your feet. You blink and groan. "I feel like we're going in circles."

"Different desert. See? The sand be orange!" Kindle gestures as he puts on a sort of 'pirate-voice.' You stare at him. He stares at you. "Regardless, we are not going in circles! That is good news!"

"...We're lost, then." You continue to stare at him.

"I suppose so." Kindle anxiously rubs his hooves together. "But surely, there is an answer around here, somewhere!" He stomps one down against the ground.

You let a tongue flicker out of your lips and stiffen. Something else is here. Kindle, however, cannot keep his eyes off it. He mocks a gag, or at least you assume he is.

"We're not alone." You say as he keeps making a bunch of choking sounds. Kindle stops and stares at you before his eyes press against the horizon. You peer across the desert as well, finding it full of mountains.

One moves. You spy a thousand needle-like claws spreading from a few spindly arms. It is not alone, either. Its eyes hold a sort of glazed over humanity.

"Cease." Its voice booms across the desert as it takes a massive stride with one leg. Its barrage of eyes turn to you, before a half splits off to turn to Kindle. "You had a task. Do you understand the foolishness of this endeavor?"

"You can fly well, right?" Kindle shouts. You stop before you nod. "Then fly like the wind!" He shouts and you turn to run. You can barely get a few feet off the ground before the claws dig into your back. You thrash your tail impulsively and hear a booming wail, one that you feel more than you could ever hear it.

You manage to fly away from it. Something else hits you in the back and you tumble, almost ending up in a spiral towards the ground. You can barely pull yourself out of it, taking yourself into a sloppy glide. A bright light hits your periphery.

And then, you crash into a mountain. You think you've broken your nose. You don't really know much beyond digging your claws into its side and laying on the only platform you can find.

You look over the damage. Your nose is bleeding heavily and you're full of black splinters. Groaning, you wrench one hand around them and pull them out one by one. You try and stifle the urge to shout when you do. Who knows what is listening?

Kindle's probably not dead. And if he's in danger, there's nothing you can do right now. You need to keep moving. You wipe a hand against your nose and it hurts something awful. If you had a mirror, you could probably confirm if it's broken.

Oh. And you're hungry.

Great!

"I can heal this..." You murmur. "I just need to get moving again and find something to--" You're cut off by the horrible snap of bone. You know those leg cramps you get if you wake up wrong? It's like one of those across your entire body. Delirium had served you well enough to make the pain of being compressed the least of your worries.

If you survive long enough to talk to a therapist, this is definitely going to make them need one in turn. You manage to let yourself groan once you're sure you won't shriek from pain. You're... Cold now--

Oh. Right. Dragons don't wear clothes. And the last thing someone dressed you in, you nearly ate it.

So you're human, now? Yep, yep, dull hands and everything. Your mouth's still messed up. Yeah, you remember that happened the last time you reverted. Still, ugh, awful. Can you still breathe acid?

Wait. Your wounds don't hurt anymore. You press a hand against your nose. Doesn't hurt anymore? Oh. That's weird.

Maybe your flesh getting rearranged heals you? You stare at the ground. Your skin came off again. That's... Fun.

PAMA had told you a very particular fact about reptiles, some eat their own skin. You debate it for a moment before gagging. Yeah, you're not that hungry.

You take a look down the mountain. Well, if you were suicidal, this would be perfect. It takes you a moment to mentally carve out a path. Walking down it is nerve-racking. Part of you still expects to be able to jump down and spread wings if it gets too bad.

You nearly collapse from exhaustion at the bottom. There's nobody to watch you sleep, either. Great. Great! Are they even going to chase you when the psychological torment of being stuck out here is enough?

You turn. A ruined city sprawls out before you. You can't help but squint. It takes everything in you not to shout once you see it. You recognize this town.

"It's not real... Okay. Remember that. You're in a fucked up nightmare world." You rub your forehead. You couldn't have doomed your people. It's just not possible. And they can't be here. They can't--

"Oh, it is real." A voice from the other side of town laughs. You stiffen at the sound. Is that... You? How the hell are you speaking to yourself? It seems to be shaped like you, too. Its hair is just as long.

And then, it is in front of you. Its skin, barring its pale extremities, is all dark. Two, massive, black curled horns drape off its head. It doesn't seem to have a mouth at all.

If not for the tail, or the horde of black spikes, or the purple eye, or everything else, you'd have thought you were looking into a mirror. One of its dark claws sinks into the side of your face. It lets out a strange, warbling laugh.

"I've been dying to see you. Do you know what it's like to deal with all of your baggage?" It grabs you by the wrist. You spy the bandaging covering its ankles and arm. Purple blood stains it in parts. "We're going to have so much fun, you and I."

✾✾✾✾✾✾

"If you folks intend on being stupid, you better be quick and stupid." Hadrian says as he roots through a chest. "Otto? Why do we have so many blankets?"

"Soren and I started a crochet club the last time you stormed off. Years ago." Otto waves one hand awkwardly. "Bit convenient though, y'know?"

"I'm just giving you folks this advice before you sleep on it." Hadrian turns to you and hands you a blanket. "If you're committed to this task, which, we know you aren't," He winks awkwardly, "you'd better be quick. But you know. You can't be." He seems to go quiet with that last part.

"What's the use in watching, then?" Otto pipes up. "They're satisfied with this agreement." He turns to Firework, who nods. Hadrian grabs Otto by the wrist and takes him deeper into the palace. You blink before letting out a strange sigh.

"He's dead." Nurm interjects suddenly. "I say we actually do what they want and leave." You turn and stare at him. "Even if he's somehow out there, he's probably a mindless monster by now."

"Radar's strong." Xara stares at Nurm. "I believe in him."

"Seriously?" Nurm laughs. "That doesn't matter. It doesn't work like that."

"Shut it." You growl. Firework stares at Nurm and Willow lets out a sigh. "I can prove he is alive! I have--"

"You left the rabbit at home." Willow turns to you and you stiffen.

"Who takes care of them now?" Firework asks.

"No, the stuffed rabbit." Willow glares at him. You turn to the imitations of them. They have returned to playing. It is as if they have no idea what has happened to their original family. "What? Now you feel guilty?"

"There's nothing saying that they're not making up an imitation of Radar right now." Nurm stares right at you. "Who's to say they won't suddenly return 'him'? You're already losing your mind, after all."

"I am not." You snap.

"Why don't you do anything?" Nurm turns to Olivia. "You could--"

"I'm not going to force anything onto PAMA, okay? I don't want to be like them!" She holds back a shout. "I refuse to twist someone's mind, even if it's to 'fix' them."

"Great. We're going to get led astray by a deluded computer." Nurm rolls his eyes. You glare at him. "What? It's not like you saved the last one." You mock the motion of a snarl.

Tripwire's eye twitches. "Is this really what this is about?"

"Well, no, I--" Nurm begins before he blinks. "...Why did I say that?"

"Yeah, it's been years!" Tripwire shouts at him. "...Don't tell me everyone else is losing their mind!" She throws her hands up.

"You told me they... They tried to..." Nurm turns to Tripwire.

"Yeah. They did their damn best." Tripwire sighs. "God. But what if you're right? Radar might be dead and we'd never know. We'd just bring some stupid copy home--"

"We would know!" Firework insists.

"We wouldn't have to if you just--" Willow begins before Firework shoves her back. Sunny's head shoots off Firework's lap. "It's true! If we just kept our heads down--"

"People dying!" Firework snaps at her. "We fix, we go home, no one else gets hurt. Already here. Might as well."

"But... We wouldn't... It's..." Willow stares at Sunny. They flinch when she does. "Why the hell haven't you killed us?"

"You really expect a toddler to kill you?" Sonar stares at Willow. "That's what this is about?" Lily looks over for a moment before turning away and shaking her head.

"It's more complicated than that!" Willow shouts. "It's a monster! It's going to grow up and turn into something way worse than the Witherstorm. Is that what you people want?"

"You've failed as a parent!" Sonar turns to you before shaking you violently. "I've never met someone more deluded than your daughter!" You push Sonar back.

"A cult did this to her!" You snap.

"And who let said daughter fall into the hands of a cult?" Sonar insists and you step back.

"It's not all PAMA's fault." Cassie interjects and Sonar glares at her.

"I'm not listening to a murderer's words, here!" Sonar pins Cassie against the wall. You growl and grab Sonar by the scruff of her shirt. She claws at your screen and blood oozes into your eyes. "This is all your fault!"

"Get off her!" You snarl and rake a claw against Sonar's face. She yowls and pushes past you.

"What is going on in here?!" Hadrian shouts as he runs back into the room. Olivia grabs Sonar before she can bolt out the door.

"We are not going to turn against each other, okay?" She snarls at Sonar. "Whoever's fault it is can be figured out on the other side."

"Exactly." Binta concurs.

"You're taking--" Sonar begins and Olivia's eyes narrow.

"Do you really want to make me angry?"

"No, ma'am." Sonar squeaks and Olivia lets go of her.

"I get everyone's stressed, but this is getting us nowhere. If we fight each other, we're giving the monsters here exactly what they want. We're going to push each other into becoming feral beasts or something." Olivia gestures towards everyone. "Does placing the blame now somehow get Radar back? Does it solve our problems?"

"It doesn't." Binta adds. "We can work it out later. I'm sure Radar will be happy to focus on the consequences of it, rather than whatever's happening to him now."

"Assuming it doesn't drive him mad, of course." Sonar murmurs and you stare at her. "At least let him rest before you throw him into working our shit out."

"What matters is fixing this. We save Radar, we... I guess we kill whoever's doing this, and then we go home." Binta sighs. "I mean, they're planning on killing kids. They turn people into monsters, they... I know all that and it still feels weird saying it." She sits down.

"Don't feel bad about it." Hadrian sighs. "You don't even know half of what's happened here."

"That's... Not exactly encouraging." Binta looks at the ground.

"I can't spill more. What I do know won't help you. Not now, at least." He sighs. "Just keep your head on straight. Remember yourself. And don't live kneeling."

"And get some sleep, would you?" Otto pokes his head out. "You need it."

"You're a monster, you know?" Willow hisses and Binta gestures for her to stop. "What? Don't you know what happened?"

Something feels different. "Maybe I am."

❀❀❀❀❀

"What the hell do you want from me?" You spit as it drags you further into the city. You debate biting at it, but is it really worth wasting your energy on? Sure, its intentions are horrible, but maybe if you buy some time, you can get flying again.

...Great. Now you're wishing you were a dragon again. How did you get here?

"I've been dying to meet the real Radar," It admits as it plops you before a ruined replica of the Rainbow Beacon, "and look who landed on my doorstep! Good thing they didn't catch you, huh?" It lets out a strange laugh.

"...That didn't answer my question." You glare at it.

"You really think you're in any place to make demands of me?!" It grabs you by the throat. You hiss and shriek. It jolts back, a few purple sparks of electricity licking its form.

You growl and approach it, one claw outstretched to grab its throat in turn.

"Wait, wait, I'm you, remember?" It stands on all fours, tail lashing against the ground. You spy the torn off numbs of wings on its back. "You kill me, you lose a part of yourself. Do you want to risk losing your mind here?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" A growl rumbles out of your chest. You flinch in pain, your bones clicking for a moment, before they settle again. The beast lashes its tail again and throws you to the ground.

"You're weak!" It laughs. "Oh, I could kill you. I could take you apart here and now..." It looks you over. You catch the glint of teeth just under the bangs covering half its face.

"Then answer my question. If you're going to kill me." You growl. It snorts and snickers at the sight of you. You raise an eyebrow. "Am I dealing with a child right now?"

"My whole point is that it'd be boring! Oh my goodness, listen to this guy!" It continues to laugh, falling backwards. You blink and pull away. It grabs you by the leg and you can spy the mouths where its eye should be pulling into a grin. "My question really is, where should I start?"

"How do you know I'm real?" You growl. "I could be like you."

"Does it matter?" It laughs. "You're close enough!" It rakes its claws against your chest. You kick it back, claws sinking into its bare chest, and it hisses as it slides away.

You just need to buy time. At least you'd think so? Maybe you can bite it, but it seems more... Human than that wolf. Why is there another you here? How can there be another version of yourself? It violates all laws of being!

You lunge at it and your teeth sink into its back. A loud hiss escapes it before electricity hits you in turn. As you slide away, you find its jaws still sparking. It breaks into another laugh.

"I don't have to wait like you do!" It throws a bolt at your form. You shriek as it hits your abdomen. "I can do it as long as I want! And what will you do? Scream and bite? Retaliate with more electricity? Ohhh... But you'd run out eventually, wouldn't you?"

Its claws wrap around your throat and it squeezes hard. You flail and gasp desperately. It can't contain its laughter. The edges of your vision begin to darken. You scratch at its arms and it still clings onto your throat.

Suddenly, it lets go. You heave in a thousand desperate breaths as it breaks into a soft chuckle. "I'm never going to die. I'm never going to die." It wheezes as tears drip down its face. "And neither will you! Oh, no, no, no... I'll be nice and careful."

It bites down on your chest, just a few inches away from your teeth. You let out a desperate, gurgled groan.

"We need each other..." It whispers. "Even if it hurts."

✾✾✾✾✾

You blink your eyes open. Or wait, do you even have to do that? The palace is quiet. That is strange... You stir and everyone seems to have woken before you.

Your blood feels warm. Maybe Willow is right. You cannot save anyone. No, no, no. Haven't saved anyone... Messed up the first time. And then you did it again and again and again and--

Why is it so hard to remember, now? You talked with someone, but your hands were different. No, no, those were someone else's hands. Feels so hard to pull that apart, now. Why? Why is everything so hard?

Oh. Do you... Do you not want to remember? That should be okay. You have... Friends? Maybe? They seem like friends...

"Where's Lily?" Willow asks at your side. You look over the group. Everyone is here. Everyone is okay. "Where is Lily?!" She shouts. Why is she panicking? Who is that?

It feels so nice to just... Forget. But well, there was no one here by that name. Of course not. You hear the rest of them shuffling, even your parents. They run outside. For someone who is not even there?

Your parents stay behind, their eyes locking for a moment. You follow your group into the garden. It is so so beautiful. You are in a garden with so many nice friends.

The not-Radar is there. He holds up a rabbit so it can nibble on a pretty topiary. A bit of a waste, considering how well pruned it is... It even looks like such a pretty person! So many nice lilies and azaleas growing off it... So beautiful.

Willow shrieks. Why?

Something is saying your name. You stiffen. Why do you feel... Wrong?

"I didn't... Stop it!" Willow shouts at the Radar. He blinks stupidly. "I remember, goddammit! I remember!" She wails. "Why don't you remember? Why?"

"Maybe she wanted it." Tripwire stiffens and Willow's gaze snaps to her. "Think about it. Everyone else remembered her as something else, right?"

"She didn't!" Willow snaps. "Why would she want it? Why?!"

"I... I don't know." Tripwire admits. "I just know that people destroy themselves." Sonar looks at the ground when she says that.

"So you can't... Undo it?" Willow is quiet. "Of course." She shuts her eyes. Something about it has a part of you stirring. You hear something call your name from behind you but you do not turn. It keeps shouting.

Olivia touches it on the shoulder, but it does not move. She shakes her head and Willow sobs.

"You did this!" She snaps at you before her claws dig into your arm. "You always do this! You're the cause of everything wrong in my life!"

Maybe she is right. Maybe you need to leave. Some part of you feels as if it might be the proper call. After all, you keep breaking things. And you are about to be dangerous. You think...?