Because while I was resigned to the fact I would never love anyone the way I love you, you were looking at someone else the way you look at me. There was a time if I came to you, you would have turned me away because you loved another, when I would have left anyone just for the possibility of you. How easily this could be her home and her ring and you would have been happy. You would never think of what ifs or how comes. And while it’s not fair to hold it against you it hurts, it makes me angry and bitter. It feels like a betrayal because I’ve always been yours and you have only just recently become mine. You gave yourself wholly to another while I always kept a piece of myself tucked away just for you. There’s a part of my heart that’s never been touched by anyone’s hands but yours. But your heart, there will always be others finger prints in the places mine sit. I’ve shared every part of you with someone else and that fact wraps around my ribs like a vice. It burns in my core. If we had met subsequently, it may have been different. But you knew me, you knew my touch and were still able to take someone else’s with a full embrace. It’s a perfidy that I feel every time you look at me, every time we lay in bed next to each other, every kiss. I will forever be haunted by your past love.
