rml

I’ve been inspired lately to try and own less, and love all the things I’m left with even more. It’s a pretty simple concept, but it’s been rocking my world lately so I wanted to document it. 

Somewhere along the way, we are taught that if something is broken -- replace it! Buy more. Buy a new pair of jeans. Buy a new bag. If it don’t work, get a new one. (Okay that’d sound better if it rhymed.) 

Recently my every day work bag (pictured below) broke. I made a big decision at the end of last year to use part of my end of year bonus to invest in a bag that I could use daily and take to work meetings without being asked if I’m still a college intern. I believe in Everlane’s mission to make honest high quality products so I went and bought one of their Magazine Tote bags after reading dozens of reviews and videos. For 8 months it served me really well. I actually did use it every day, and it went with most everything. I was impressed with the way it held its shape, and the way the leather seemed to be able to take my daily beatings filling it with my Macbook, 2-3 notebooks, pens on pens on pens, and a number of other smaller bags. 

Then one day, the clasp just gave up and broke. And it broke in such a way that I couldn’t just fix it at home myself. I was so sad. This was not the vision Everlane sold me! What was I to do now? I’ll be honest for a moment I took it as a sign that I should go and buy the Building Block bag I’d been eyeing. The thought did cross my mind. 

But! Then I thought I’d try and contact Everlane. This wasn’t cool. Plus I was pretty confident they’d agree that their products should last more than a year at minimum. 

Ever since I started working a customer facing role, I try to take a few extra steps to empathize with anyone who has to deal with customer tickets. It ain’t easy or fun. People are usually only contacting you because they have a problem, and you’re responsible for hearing them out even though you (usually) had nothing to do with triggering or causing their issue in the first place. It’s a difficult job. I emailed and shared I was a huge fan, that I believed in their mission, and that I was disappointed with the bag’s durability. What could they do for me? 

Initially, the response was less than what I’d hoped for. They empathized, but seemed to hint that my daily use of the bag could cause wear and tear. I could go to a cobbler and get it fixed (read: they didn’t offer repair services, unfortunately). Or I could go and buy a new tote bag with a 15% discount and free shipping.

I learned a few years ago in a negotiations class that sometimes you need to be open ended about your ask -- you may be surprised at what they’re willing to offer you right away. But other times, be ready to be explicit about your ask. What exactly did I want? I didn’t want to have to buy a new bag. My original one was sitting there, looking just fine except for the darn clasp that gave up on me. It seemed easy enough to fix, why waste that great leather? Plus, I got sentimentally attached to it. I wanted to fix my bag, but I wanted Everlane to cover the cost. 

So I responded: 

Grateful for walks back and forth between offices that provide the perfect opportunity to call a friend out of the blue. 

Travel Uniforms

Why are the Obamas so dang cool

It struck me today while I was coloring and meditating on YOBL reading that taking stock of certain to parts of our life are really easy to do - you can take stock of the things you purchase. The new shirt or jacket or pair of shoes you pinned, lusted after, and thoughtfully bought. Or the bag of old clothes you collected in a bag, put in your trunk and drove over to the Goodwill. Or perhaps we’re not even talking about material goods. You can take stock of the adventures you took, the vacations you planned and ultimately hopped on a plane, or piled yourself into a car to take. You have the photos to document it all - the scrapbooks, the Costco developed photos, the Facebook albums, the carefully filtered Instagram shots, and ultimately the in the moment Snap stories. 

But one thing that isn’t easy to take stock of - are your thoughts. The mental thought processes you take on, the change of mindset that shifts ever so subtly. These are not easy to change, no, but once changed they’re also extremely easy to miss. Where one day you wake up and you no longer realize where one mental decision ended and another began. So, I wanted to document these small changes and decisions. Because they will make me up to be who I am. 

Purchase thoughtfully. Every single item I buy takes up legitimate space in my house. So does it have a purpose. Not only is it worth the actual dollar cost it will cost me to acquire it, but does it deserve the space and attention it will take up in my house, in my mind, etc. If not, then there’s no reason to purchase it. The true cost of each item is not simply the price on the tag. How much will it cost me to maintain it, keep it and hold onto it. 

Don’t do it because that’s what everyone else is doing. I used to be really big and into sentimental things - birthdays, valentine’s day, christmas, you name it, I was all over it. Marketing gurus everywhere loved me. I’m their target sister, friend, girlfriend, wife, you get the picture. But since around Thanksgiving/Black Friday last year my eyes felt like they were peeled open to all the crafty marketing stunts and I felt like a victim that no longer wanted to be made prey to their schemes. Why do we need to wait for a birthday, anniversary or Valentine’s day to give someone we love something nice or to express our love for them? To this you might say “well Rachel because at least it’s a nice impetus or reminder and it’s better than nothing” to which I’d say “well, now that you recognize that, pick another day that doesn’t make you a pawn in America’s marketing ploy.” So don’t buy the extra highly priced flowers because that’s what you’re supposed to do. 

Control your phone, don’t let it control you. Early this year I turned off all the notifications on my phone. In other words, my phone never lights up with it’s needy “look at me now!” “I need you now!” “MEMEMEMEMEME!!!” I look at my phone when I’m ready to look at it. No amount of facebook updates, Instagram likes, Snapchats, newsletter emails or even text messages lights it up. I’ve found so much more peace of mind this way and after nearly 2 months of doing this I can genuinely told you I haven’t missed anything supremely important in my life. Other than the few days a close friend was giving birth and I was on standby to rush over to the hospital. Even then, the baby came early so there was no point. 

Do things one at a time. It’s worth it. I am the master multi-tasker. My browser tab is usually filled with 20+ tabs so much so that each tab is rendered to nothing more than just the tiny little icon. It’s usually a combo of email, calendar, twitter, youtube, blogs, articles and kpopstar. To be honest I still have 20 tabs open while I write this post. Work in progress over here. But whether it’s work, the podcast I’m working on, or an email I’m writing to an old friend I am trying to discipline myself to get in the habit of doing one thing at a time. I set aside 15 minutes for myself to churn this out before rushing over to get ready to leave. You’d be surprised how much you can get done at a time and thus in a day. At work I’ve been using this app to hold myself to what the Italians coined the “Pomodoro Effect.” Try it. It’ll make you more efficient, and make you want to eat tomatoes. Neither of which is a bad thing, if you ask me. 

I’ve decided to turn off all my push notifications on my mobile phone for a week. I was inspired by a friend who told me that he prefers to check his phone on his own time, and control his attention rather than allow his phone to control him. 

When I can’t find the words myself, I link to someone else’s.