not crying on sunday

Maura just nods. She nods and blinks and it’s so unlike her to be without words that Jane knows it frightens her, too. So she presses her fingers harder against her temple, hiding their tremble as she stares back at Maura, nodding.

And nodding.

It’s when the wisps of blonde hair surrender to the gravity of her word do they both stop. “Yes,” Maura says, tucking the fallen hairs behind her ear, “now can we just—”

"We kissed." 

“Once.”

Jane knew. She knew their lips would only connect once, and it’s why she never completely pulled away, breathing in the air that left Maura’s lips, closing them against hers. Because it’s a kiss; it only happened once, and if it’s only one time, Maura can classify that as a mistake and move on. 

But to Jane, that’s bullshit. She doesn’t make mistakes, and kissing Maura is definitely not one. ”We kissed, Maura. And we’ve both been thinking about it.” 

"And?" 

More than anything, she wanted to play dress up with her mother like the girls she saw on family sitcoms who would casually put together an outfit from their mother’s clothes and parade it around the living room while the mother commented on how beautiful her daughter looked in her clothes. The finishing touches would always be the mother’s favorite hat or necklace that she’d place on her daughter just before offering to let her wear some lip gloss or a light eye shadow.

The few times Maura was caught looking through her mother’s clothes, her mother would smile at her and tell her to play dress up in the new princess dress that she had just purchased for her, but what she didn’t know was that little Maura didn’t want to be a princess; she wanted to be just like her mommy.

"No, I haven’t asked her!" Maura said hotly, borderline argumentative, into the phone, startling Jane out of her half-asleep state on the sofa, unbeknownst to Maura.

The brunette detective nearly shot up at the harsh sound of her girlfriend’s voice, especially considering that she’d only ever heard that exact tone a handful of times their entire friendship, let alone since they’d admitted their feelings. Still, she was curious, so she fought the urge to make her presence known just yet.

"Why would I have asked her? I’ve already explained—" Maura stopped mid-sentence, clearly having been interrupted by the person on the other end of the line.

A sigh floated from the corner of the kitchen where Jane knew the other woman was standing, not even ten feet away. Right in front of the microwave. She knew Maura was pulling out a coffee mug from the above cabinet when she heard the unmistakable soft clink of ceramic cups touching each other.

"Angela, I appreciate your concern. I really do, but I’ve already told you that Jane would not like it to happen that way."

By that point, Jane was so incredibly confused by whatever conversation Maura was having, and had been having, with her own mother. 

Maura set her empty coffee mug on the counter top. 

"She’ll ask me when she’s ready." 

A pause.

"Yes, I know you want more grandchildren, but just because it’s tradition to get married before having children doesn’t mean—"

Clearly Maura had been cut off yet again mid-sentence as Jane’s mother continued to blabber on the phone.

"I really would like for you to stop interrupting me, please.” Her tone had quickly reached aggravation and Jane had to cover her mouth to prevent her snort from being heard, even though Maura’s previous statement had been quite serious. 

"Jane and I have already discussed marriage, and I can assure you that we very much want to—"

Jane’s eyes went wide and immediately she froze.

"—but Jane also told me she wanted to be the one to ask, and personally I think that’s very romantic of her.”

There were a few moments of silence on Maura’s end, signaling that Angela was still protesting something yet again, and Jane heard liquid pouring into the coffee mug her girlfriend had pulled from the cabinets.

"I need to drink my coffee and eat breakfast before I go into the office. Jane will eventually ask me to ‘get hitched,’ as she sometimes likes to phrase it. I don’t wish or plan to ask her, seeing as that would be against her wishes."

"Yes, I’ll see you at lunch in the café," Maura replied. "Bye, Angela."

Hard plastic softly hit the counter. Her girlfriend’s phone.

"But I do wish you’d hurry up and ask me, Jane Rizzoli,” Maura said to herself. 

It was unbearable for Jane. Sitting up quickly, eyes wide and mouth agape in momentary disbelief, she finally revealed to Maura that she’d been in the room the entire time. “Ma wants you to ask me to marry you? Really?”

The screech of terror that escaped Maura’s mouth would have been hilarious to Jane if she weren’t so bothered by the entire context of the situation. She also would have dropped her cup of coffee if it hadn’t still been on the kitchen counter. Her head and body whipped around so quickly toward Jane that she nearly lost her balance.

"Don’t scare me like that!” Taking a deep breath she continued hesitantly, “You heard all of that conversation, of course.”

Jane shot her girlfriend her best duh face.

"Which means you also just heard what I said after I disconnected that call." Maura looked down, clearly ashamed.

With no thought whatsoever, Jane jumped off the sofa and practically ran to her girlfriend, pulling Maura into a warm embrace, arms wrapping around the blonde’s thin waist as she stood behind her. “I didn’t know you wanted me to ask so soon,” she said softly in Maura’s ear. “We’ve only been together seven months.” 

"But I already know I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I do, too." The two let their words permeate the air around them, let them relax in each other’s arms. "I already have everything planned," Jane said. "I have for nearly two months now. But the exact when hadn’t been determined just yet."

"Jane," Maura whispered as she turned around in her girlfriend’s arms. 

Jane’s heart melted when she saw the tears glistening in Maura’s eyes. “I can make the when happen very soon, if that’s what you want.”

With a teary laugh, Maura nodded. 

Rizzoli and Isles 5x12 Promo “Burden of Proof”