life’s not a paragraph

Isn’t that a wild thing to say?

Both of those families want to proceed to meeting me in person and the agency owner who I like very much, I'll call her Recruiter 1, asked me to meet one specifically first. This alludes to a couple things. One could be that Family 1 has a smaller pool of candidates they are wanting to move forward with, like me and possibly one other. Family 2 may have multiple good candidates they are considering and not feel like they've chosen me yet. Another factor likely is she thinks Family 1 aligns better with what I'm seeking. Both are commutable distance but Family 1 lives closer to me. Both offering the same hourly rate but Family 1 is offering a few more hours each week. Family 1 has a start date the last week of August and Family 2 starts mid-September. I'd previously told the agency I'd love an August start date. I can see why she made this suggestion, overall. Since she's the party that coordinates the meetings they are at her discretion anyway.

My interview yesterday was with the mom from Family 3, through a different agency (the agency I've had the most difficulty with, but this recruiter has seemed very competent). This is the one I want the most, based on schedule and compensation. That doesn't mean the other two are bad, it's more like this one is unusually great. All of the parents are friendly and were nice to speak with and all of the families have 1 child (6 months, 4 months, and 13 months old respectively), so it's not wildly different circumstances between the three jobs. Family 3 does plan to travel with their nannies, which I'd love. I don't believe the other two are planning that any time soon.

All of the agencies I'm working with know that I'm working with other agencies, but I haven't explicitly stated to either of these two that I'm meeting a family on x day or that an offer has been made. Family 3 wants to set up a time for me to speak with the dad and, if all goes well, to trial in person. As of right now I don't know when that will be. Because it's still up in the air, I'm hesitant to say anything to the agency with Family 1. I do not want them to feel pressured to offer me a job because of a time constraint and I do not want to potentially jeopardize a good opportunity that may very well end up being where I work. I feel like it's OK to disclose to them once I have an interview with the other parent and know a bit more about everyone and how they feel about moving forward.

I don't feel like I am carrying the weight of any former friendships or relationships. I don't dwell on them or think of them in more than a passing way, if ever.

but if I removed myself from someone 5, 10, even 20 years ago, there was a reason, and I'd still cross the street today if I saw them coming in my direction.

Families I met earlier this week are reaching out now (via the agencies) wanting to schedule in-person trials. (I’ve had one of these already the week of July 4th, but ultimately declined that job).

I need to breathe and choose my words carefully. I don’t want to misstep and lose out on a great opportunity. And I don’t want to misdirect and make anyone think I’m committing to a job when I am still deciding.

The recruiter I communicated with yesterday about my no-show parent interview messaged me early afternoon with no greeting and said "He had a call today and was right on time. It might have been a total fluke of two days. I can withdraw you but I don't want you to miss a good opportunity. Let me know" I haven't responded. What do I even say to this? I don't want to talk to him or to you, please go away.

My first interview of the day had weird vibes. It was with an agency, a small boutique one I'd never heard of before this month, that only has a handful of jobs at a time. I applied about two weeks ago and it took over a week to hear back from them (this is relevant later).

They initially contacted me this past Monday about a position I'd already interviewed for with another agency, the mom who hated me and ended the interview at the 10 minute mark by saying she had to help her son take cookies out of the oven. I wrote about it here. I responded to this new email and said "I was interviewed by this family last week. The job description is identical so I am quite certain it is the same family. [Other Agency Name] did not request any feedback on my end about our interview, but if it's at all helpful, I can share my experience with you. I don't think it would make sense to put me forward as a candidate because the parent didn't want to meet me."

She still wanted to meet me for another position I applied to, and our interview was today. It was... weird. First we talked about what didn't go well with the family we both know, who interviewed me. I told her the mom requested a last minute time change (right that moment instead of 45 minutes later) and then 10 minutes in she said she had to go because of baking cookies. I mentioned it was odd to me because she picked the time and moved up the time and then very quickly got off the call.

The recruiter sort of sighed and said "Yeah... we've known her a long time. She's very specific in what she wants and she's a very direct communicator." I nodded. I didn't agree, but I nodded. I don't know what being rude and demanding has to do with being a "direct communicator" personally. She then dropped tea that they've been through a lot of nannies in a short amount of time and are looking for something specific. Without saying what that specific thing was. My gut says they want someone younger and skinnier but I can't prove any of that and I don't want to work for someone like this, anyway. Then she said, 5 minutes into knowing me, "No offense to [Other Agency], but after speaking with you, I wouldn't have recommended you to [that family] because I know you aren't what she's looking for."

THEN WE HAD TO HAVE AN ENTIRE INTERVIEW ABOUT THIS OTHER JOB THEY HAVE OPEN AND JUST SKIPPED OVER THAT LIKE THAT WAS A NORMAL SENTENCE TO SAY TO SOMEONE?????

Towards the end of our interview (this lasted 40 minutes total), this recruiter asked me where I was "in the process" with other families and I told her I am actively interviewing and trialing. She then tells me they won't introduce me to any of their families (again, they have a handful) until I'm sure I won't move forward with any of my other job applications! Which is, I'm sorry, insane. She asked me to check in with her at the end of the day tomorrow to give her an update on if I want to move forward or not. (I don't!) How are you with all of two available full-time jobs going to tell me to withdraw my other applications if I want to meet any future families? It's not like you have more options for me if they don't work out.

After that strange interaction, I had 15 minutes to drink some water and touch up my makeup and settle into good lighting for my second interview with the family I'm most interested in.

My second interview of today went very well. We had a great conversation and it lasted 1-hour. The mom was thoughtful, mindful, curious, and we chatted about different parenting philosophies and what we are drawn to. Her toddler is eating real food (salmon and chicken and crab cakes and broccoli are some of her favorites), sleeping through the night, and taking two naps each day. She had thoughtful questions about how to transition from 2 naps to 1 and mentioned the pediatrician said there's no need to force it, baby will drop the second nap when she's ready. I told her that's exactly spot on advice and how the nap routine they've implemented and that's working won't change. but the time will gradually move, and there's no need to rush. She loved that I was with my previous family for 10 years and said "It would be a dream of mine to find a nanny who wanted to stay with us for 10 years."

Based on everything I've learned so far, I would be so, so happy in this role. One toddler and plans for more babies in the future. Kind, thoughtful parents. The pay and schedule are wonderful and it's 7-days on, 7-days off, switching with another nanny that they hired 5 months ago. If I get this I'm making a donation to Emily the Etsy Witch because holy crap, it's everything I want and more.

But I don't need to be nervous. Honestly two of my interviews on Tuesday went so well that it reminded me, You know WTF you're talking about! I do! I could have a graduate degree with all of the years I've put into hands on learning and living child development (I will never go back to school for another degree, but the time/effort/work is there). The parents took notes on things I said. They were so enthusiastic and interested. It was very sweet.