not-really-recovering

my girlfriend just texted me that she is sitting down for family dinner for the first time ever in her life and it genuinely made me cry. i might not like my family dinners a lot of the time, but they are so much fun and good to be with your family and she’s never experienced it before. i’m so excited for her and her family coming together and growing, it makes me so happy

my girlfriend said she lost feelings while i had covid but then gained the back when she saw me in person again and idek how to feel abt that. like i knew something was off but it hurt to hear her say it but we are now working on it so it doesn’t happen again. it just makes me feel so sad

currently drinking like it will solve my problems but really it just digs me deeper into my addiction

does anyone know how to get 🍃 or at least a pen underage?? like it would be hella helpful to know

officially my lowest weight ever :)

we made up, i think this one is really gonna last

the feeling of drinking wine out of a water bottle like you are in high school again

when non of your past relationships have made it past like two fights and you are lowkey fighting with your current gf who you love to death and want to look out for but that is making them defensive and you try to stop bc you are terrified that this is fight one and she will realize how hard you are to live with and break up with you but she keeps pushing

when it’s the second day of the year, you have covid, over ate bc you are bored, remind your gf to eat and she snaps at you, and you just wanna cry already

i’m falling apart :)

my appetite is high key gone still so i’m thriving

i was talking with my girlfriend the other night abt past relationships and stuff (in a healthy way) and then it brought up a bunch of repressed memories and trauma so that’s a lot of fun, but at least my rice purity test score is a 39 when i include that shit

life advice, don’t chug who knows how many beers in an hour and a half bc you wanna feel something bc you will be feeling it the next day still ✌️

fucking keep gaining weight. fuck this

time to go drinking after having one muffin today and that’s it