(for a film)

“I used to consider absence a lack. And I ignorantly regretted that lack. Today I have nothing to regret. There is no lack in absence. Absence is a presence in me. And I feel it, a perfect whiteness, so close and cozy in my arms that I laugh, dance, and invent glad exclamations, since absence, this embodied absence, can’t be taken away from me.”

“Charm me. Furiously. Torment me. In detail.”

“…there are moments when I am almost frightened at the way you have invaded me […] I feel strangely exposed to you. Sometimes I seem to stand aside and marvel at your way of touching me here, now there.”

“Oh we’re a mess, poor humans, poor flesh—hybrids of angels and animals, dolls with diamonds stuffed inside them We’ve been to the moon and we’re still fighting over Jerusalem. Let me tell you what I do know: I am more than one thing, and not all of those things are good. The truth is complicated. It’s two-toned, multi-vocal, bittersweet. I used to think that if I dug deep enough to discover something sad and ugly, I’d know it was something true. Now I’m trying to dig deeper.”

                   I ran and I ran through the 2 a.m. streets.

“I’m imaginary / make-believe beyond belief; / so fictitious that it hurts.”