No Shame Movement

Good post on Sojourners (No Shame Movement is featured!) about the lasting impact of purity culture

“My fear is that the purity narrative causes women to feel disempowered to speak up for themselves in sexual situations, which is part of what lies at the root of many of these #MeToo stories we’ve heard in recent years.”

“[We] were taught that men are weak when faced with the temptation of the female flesh and it was therefore our responsibility to protect men from the threat that our bodies posed to them.” 

First of all, full disclosure: I am a cisgender straight woman and thus don’t want to step out of my lane when it comes to experiences of LGBTQ people. 

Having said that, I have 3 observations:

- I think your friend believes she is supporting you the way purity culture has trained people to do. 

- She seems to operate under the belief that being gay is a feeling, i.e. someone people choose.

- I find her use of the words ‘enemy of our souls’ and ‘father of lies’ (I’m assuming she’s referring to Satan) to be a red flag that her support is conditional on you eventually deny your identity as a gay person.

Is there a trusted person in your community that you talk to about this? Someone who will be affirming of your identity and can give you guidance? I would strongly recommend going to or finding a person like that. 

“Why do we call abstinence-only education a type of sex education? That’s like telling someone to stay out of a pool and calling it a swim lesson!”

“Society has spent so much time making girls feel uncomfortable about their sexuality and sexual desires while it has made boys own their sexuality and own their sexual desires.”

“I define sexual integrity as a state of sexual wholeness that entails a conscious understanding and consistent grappling with personal ideas, biases, and prejudices about gender, sexuality, sexual orientation, and sex.”