invertopia

“I feel fear, anixety, isolation and darkness. Sometimes I feel hope.” “Hope? In those deep, dark waters?” “When I float to the surface, I imagine I’m becoming someone else. It’s that kind of feeling.”

Ghost in the Shell | Mamoru Oshii | 1995

Hello, my name is Violet. I am a technically homeless nineteen year old trans woman with severe OCD, suicidal depression and gender dysphoria. 

I have been asking for money on and off on the internet a lot over this past year. This is because over the course of the past year, i have been kicked out of the house by my abusive, transphobic and emotionally unstable father no less than three times. Once in January of last year for a period of about one night. Again in September - At which point I tried to make a living of my own so that this wouldn’t keep happening. I managed to start a fundraiser with the help of friends to get me the funds needed to move to Seattle with some friends, and we raised as much as $2300

However, I had to go back in October because I needed to resolve issues with my ID and social security. This was supposed to be temporary, but in January, right when I was about to go back to where I was staying in Seattle, I had a severe episode with my OCD that virtually incapacitated me for over a month. I reluctantly decided to stay home, because I figured that trying to hold down a job while suffering with this would be unmanageable.

While my mental health still hasn’t improved much, I was kicked out again in March, over an argument that sprang up because he said something offensive about the Christchurch Shooting, and against my better judgement, I told him to shut up. I ultimately decided, with my mom’s help, to use the funds I had raised to move out to pay for a motel room. I was expecting the situation to clear up in a matter of days , or a couple weeks at most. But it is May, almost June, and I am still in a motel room.

My dad still doesn’t want me at home, but if he does, he has put forth two conditions: I either get a job or go to college, and I cut my hair. While my mental health is still terrible and unpredictable, being forced to cut my hair and having to hold down a job/go to school, AS WELL as having to live in an extremely abusive household where I have to hide my gender identity would be far worse than living on my own and getting a job.

The funds that I had saved were rapidly running out, and I didn’t know what to do. I was very seriously contemplating suicide, until a friend contacted me, telling me that he needs a roommate in Seattle. We developed a plan that would have me getting a job and helping him rent an apartment, but my funds are no longer enough to finance my move out. And it is most likely that when I am able to move out a few weeks from now, it will probably be down to $200-600. So I need to raise money again (and hopefully, but not likely, for the last time) to cover the expenses.

EXPLAINING THE GOAL AMOUNT

I decided on the goal of $2200 because the maximum amount of money we can rent on an apartment is $1500, but due to apartment prices in Seattle, this is actually probably going to be the lowest price we can find. We are going to split the costs of first month’s rent and security deposit down the middle. That means I need to pay $750 for rent and $750 for the security deposit, for a total of $1500. I also need to purchase a train ticket to Seattle which will cost about $200. I also need to pay around $95 for phone service (I currently don’t have cellphone service). Another $170 is needed for paying utilities to that apartment. The remaining $235 is for unexpected expenses, food, transportation, etc. 

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Ryan S.

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