n☮︎road

today marks nearly a week off of meds. i am feeling far better and can feel my cognitive functions returning. the withdrawal symptoms have not been nearly as bad as they were when i went off them in the hospital. the hospital puts additive in the meds to make people experience harsh withdrawal so that it scares people into taking them. i experienced manic symptoms after a week of stopping my meds in the hospital. a week after stopping my pharmacy meds, i have only experienced insomnia.

Psychiatric medications made me gain 30 pounds!! hahaha makes me want to starve

My mother has hidden secret cameras in my room to spy on me, it's disturbing. Not sure what I'm supposed to do in this situation

Today marks day 3 of not taking the medications. There are many reasons such as wishing to go through the throes of life without chemically altering the neurotransmitters in my brain. If people 200+ years ago could do it, I can do it. I’m not going to pass on the opportunity to have potentially life changing experiences just because a psychiatrist says I should. For better or for worse, depression and elevation teach valuable lessons and add flavour and depth to my life. The choice to describe my mania as “elevation” is a deliberate one; when a label is applied it becomes pathologised, a medical issue to be treated through medications. an experience can become something to be corrected rather than something to be understood. I don’t want that. I want to approach these parts of myself through a lens of curiosity rather than fear.

The word 'alcoholic' elicits an image of someone who is angry, abusive, depressed, and dependant on alcohol whereas the stereotypical stoner is simply a hippie slacker, yet alcohol is so normalized to the point people celebrate their 18th birthday by drinking poison, but I'll get arrested for having marijuana, a literal plant, on my person