Robby knew something was wrong the minute Jack walked through the ED doors. He had his backpack slung over one shoulder, hand gripping the handle tightly enough to make his knuckles white. Jackâs mouth was a tight line as he found Robby with his eyes, and without saying a word or even a nod, he whirled around toward the elevators.
Robby shared a look with Dana, who weirdly didnât look surprised to see Jack in a mood. He frowned, while Dana raised a single eyebrow.
âGo,â she said. âTen minutes.â
Jack was there early enough that Robby could easily take more than ten and still be sending his shift home twenty minutes before seven. He took a quick look around, from Santos and Whitaker chatting near Danaâs desk to Langdon and Mohan sitting at their desks. His eyes circled back to Dana. Dana sighed. âWeâll be fine.â
Robby nodded, following where Jack had disappeared. He hadnât waited around, so Robby pressed the button for the highest floor and took the last steps to the roof two at a time.
Jack wasnât standing by the edge like Robby expected. Instead, he was right in front of the door, face hard. The moment Robby stepped out, they were against the nearest wall.
âYou thought I wouldnât find out?â Jack hissed. His voice was wavering with anger, but Robby heard the deep-rooted worry underneath.
He didnât get what Jack was saying. Find out what?
He hadnâtâ
âHow long have you not been wearing your fucking helmet?â
Oh.
Robby breathed out, his shoulders relaxing under Jackâs grasp. Jackâs eyes flashed with clear hurt, the hand leaving Robbyâs lapels alone to fall next to Jackâs body. This, this Robby could handle. This was a fight he was prepared for.
He rarely felt as alive as with the wind hitting his face.
Exceptâ
Robby opened his mouth to argue back, and he couldnât find the words. Everything he was about to say, he realized immediately how bad they sounded. Jack was waiting for him.
âI have it with me,â Robby ended up saying lamely. Jack snorted.
âIt does fucking nothing if you donât wear it,â he answered, voice shaky. âYou work in the fucking ER. You know better, Robby. Jesse saw you, he told Dana. Dana told me. You canâtââ
âJackââ
âYou canât do that to me,â Jack finished. His eyes were shining. âIâm not going toââ
âJack,â Robby said again. He wasnât sure what he was trying to get in, he just needed Jack to stop speaking.
âOne of these days Iâm waiting to finish my shift and instead end up having to try and save you,â Jack whispered, and shook his head. He wasnât looking into Robbyâs eyes. âIâll be waiting to catch a moment with my fucking lover before he starts his shift and ending up by his bedside on his possibly last moments. Is that what you fucking want?â
âNo, Jack,â Robby said back quietly.
If he didnât wear a helmet, chances were heâd not even survive to get treated by his coworkers, by Jack. It was better for everyone. No one had to sit by his bedsideâthere wasnât going to be a bed. Just solid ground and flashing lights.
âYou canât do that to me,â Jack said. âYou canât.â
Robby didnât have the words to answer. He wasnât going to lie and tell Jack it was never going to happen. He wasnât going to fill the silence with empty words. So he did what he knew best, tugging Jack closer by his wrist to pull him into a small kiss.
Jack melted against his body, but the kiss tasted like salt and Jackâs hand was gripping Robbyâs side a bit too rough for it to be sweet. It was desperate. A cry for help, for Robby to understand and listen.
Robby let himself drown in it.
âIâm angry with you.â Jackâs words ghosted against Robbyâs lips, a warm breath between their faces.
âIâm sorry,â Robby replied. He was sorry. Not for disregarding his own safety, but for the fear he was putting Jack through.
âYou better be,â Jack said, and then took a step back. Robbyâs chest ached. He knew it was the first fight of many. He knew he was going to disappoint Jack again. Based on the sad look on Jackâs face, he knew as well. Jack ran a hand through his curls and then sighed. âWeâre not done with the conversation.â
Robby nodded, taking a step toward his lover to reach out. Jack shook his head. Robby tried to swallow the bit stuck in his throat. Without a word, Jack took a step toward the door. Then another, not checking if Robby was following. Robby did, of course he did.
Robby didnât meet Danaâs eyes downstairs. He didnât answer the questioning frown Langdon gave him. He ignored the way Jackâs voice was clipped and to the point while they dealt with the handoff.
The motorcycle roared alive under him fifteen minutes later, his helmet tightly secured to the rack with his backpack. He breathed in.
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what if dennis knows robby is in love with jack because he can see how robby looks at them both.
walk with me.
he and robby have been in a casual relationship for months and robby has not once been jealous when dennis flirts with others -- except when he sees him flirt with jack. and what robby thinks is just jealousy of dennis, dennis knows is robby being jealous of jack. he brings it up, and robby's brain short-circuits, because ??????? he can't be in love with jack if he's already in love with dennis. what he doesn't realize, and what whitaker makes him quickly understand, is that he has two hands.
