some wtnv year one introductions and proverbs starters
“look to the north. keep looking. there’s nothing coming from the south.”
“the desert seems vast, even endless. and yet, scientists tell us that somewhere, even now, there is snow.”
“men are from mars; women are from venus; earth is a hallucination; podcasts are dreams.”
“the arctic is lit by the midnight sun. the surface of the moon is lit by the face of the earth. our little town is lit too, by lights just above that we cannot explain.”
“there’s a special place in hell. it’s really hip. very exclusive.”
“the sun has grown so very, very old. how long, cold, fading death? how long?”
“what has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening? i don’t know, but i trapped it in my bedroom. send help.”
“close your eyes. let my words wash over you. you are safe now.”
“a million dollars isn’t cool. you know what’s cool? a basilisk.”
“rabbits are not what they seem to be.”
“lost? confused? lacking direction? need to find a purpose in your life?”
“it is almost complete. it is almost complete at last.”
“it must be 3:23 pm somewhere. maybe space?”
“silence is golden. words are vibrations. thoughts are magic.”
“we are living in an immaterial world, a ghost world, and i am an immaterial girl - a ghost.”
“weird at last! weird at last! god almighty, weird at last!”
“‘nice bolo tie’ is the greatest compliment a person can ever receive.”
“regret nothing. until it is too late. then, regret everything.”
“eating meat is a difficult moral decision, because it's stolen, that meat. you should apologize.”
“today's air quality is mauve and speckled.”
“today is the last day of your life up to this point.”
“the policeman in that intersection is not directing traffic. he's coding an urgent message to all of us.”
“does the carpet match the drapes? no. it doesn't. you're the worst interior decorator. please leave my home.”
“i'd never join a ‘pen 15 club’ that would allow a person like me to become a member.”
“look to the obelisk. we don't know where it came from, but it's attracting a lot of cats.”
“biologically speaking, we are all people, made up of smaller people.”
“bananas are hardly that slippery. but watch your step anyway.”
“your existence is not impossible, but it's also not very likely.”
“if i said you had a beautiful body, would it even matter because we are so insignificant in this vast, incomprehensible universe?”
“trust everyone.”
“the optimist says the glass is half full. the pessimist says the glass is half empty. it is only the truth-seeker who wonders, 'why is the glass there? why is there water all over the floor? why is it covering every other surface of the house? who -- or what -- is doing this to us?'”
“find more ways to work ‘plinth’ into daily conversation.”
“blinking red light in the night sky, the future is changing, but it's hard to tell.”
“step 1: write down the names of everyone you know. step 2: rearrange the letters. step 3: this will reveal a great secret of time.”
“the future is what you make of it. just know that your supplies are limited.”
“step 1: separate your lips. step 2: use facial muscles to pull back corners of mouth. step 3: widen your eyes. this is how to be happy.”
“pain is just weakness leaving the body. and then being replaced by pain. lots of pain.”
“hang a map of a place you'll never go on your living room wall. draw new streets. tear off bodies of water. wait for news crews to arrive.”
“ask your doctor if right is left for you.”
“there is a thin semantic line separating weird and beautiful and that line is covered in jellyfish.”
“if you love someone, set them free. set them free now. this is the police, and we have you surrounded.”
“we report only the real, the semi-real, and the verifiably unreal.”
“mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys. Show them pictures of cows when they're young, and administer brief electrical shocks.”
“the sun has risen. you are awake. this symmetry is not without meaning.”
“the most dangerous game is man. the most entertaining game is broadway puppy-ball. the most weird game is esoteric bear.”
“fun game: say ‘toy boat’ over and over. do it for the rest of your life. retreat from society, and live on alms. whisper, ‘toy boat,’ as you die.”
