Noops

Garden Concert 🪻🌱🥀🌻 where we are performing my original song ‘The Lonely Phenomenon’ 🩵 You can stream this song on all the platforms as it part of my album: The Blue Room Radio 🦋

12th June 2024

My banner that was designed by Alexander was apparently stolen from my door, so the company was kind enough to ship a new one to me 😅 Here I am celebrating that I actually got it this time, even if it was 3 months of fight 🤺

10,000+ streams later!!! 🩵🩵🩵

1.5 months back I released my debut album called The Blue Room Radio and I am so proud of how this album has turned out to be 🥰

It took 2 people 2 years to make this album but it was a lifetime of patience, love and passion that made it all come true 🎉

I just got off the call with my mom and dad talking about my blog. It is safe to say that my mother did not appreciate the blog that I wrote about my family struggling with consistency, with a tinge of disappointment whilst my father was elaborated on each and every bullet point of my argument, with a careful explanation

Am I embarrassed that they read it? Yes. .

Would I want to stop being so open? I wish. .

Wouldn't it be insane if we were what people expected us to be?

Lately I have been really loving the colour purple (something that maybe Olivia Rodrigo and I have in common?) So my obsession with the colour purple started in January this year and overcome with the sense that I NEED a purple journal and one more peculiar thing about this is that I love to only write in MOLESKINE Not only that I also only write in the BLANK MOLESKINE NOTEBOOKS.

So that became my quest for the next few days: Find a blank purple moleskin And I did!

I decided to write today because I realised that I haven't been writing neither online or in my journal for way too long now. I was journalling quite a bit and getting lost in the forests that I created in my head for a while now to a point my dad said: "What if you take a break?" I never thought about taking a break from usually what I love to do but this time I did listen, however now I struggle to get back to it. I try every day in the morning: sometimes I write 3-4 sentences or something close it but I try everyday a little bit because that is what my friend Giulia told me "It's everyday that count Noops, no matter big or small" She says this so kindly while showing me her gratitude journal "See, somedays I write only 2 things that I am grateful for and sometimes 5. It doesn't matter how much you write if you write everyday" I was intrigued by the thought even though that thought wasn't so unfamiliar to me because I somehow knew it, but couldn't comprehend it. 'My family is notorious for being inconsistent', I think to myself, 'remember?' I sigh while stacking up examples in my head - That cousin who lost all weight but gained it all back in 2 years - Your dad who started a startup only to quit it early - Your brother who wanted to start a health journey but couldn't keep up - Your mother who started painting (and was surprisingly good at it) but gave up because she doesn't want to buy more canvases (huh?) As I ride my bicycle through the park in Munich, I can hear the voices bringing the examples of 'familial consistency failure' (if there is even a term for that) and some other quotes such as 'history repeats itself' but then another quote strikes up in my brain from Adam Curtis: 'History repeats itself. And sometimes it doesn't.' A spark of hope lights up and my heart beats slower on a very fast bicycle as I think to myself a little harder. Maybe what we remember in our life is only when history really does repeat itself such as when I make the same mistakes or abandon myself at the same period of my life? It is like a tarot card reader who you believe to be true because you can only connect the dots when you selectively remember what she said and connect it tho the current event in life leading you to believe that she is spot on. It's funny how my mind keeps itself entertained while riding a bicycle and listening to the song 'exes' by Tate McRae