I'm Up Too Late

 How can it be possible 

That I’m constantly surrounded by people 

Swarms of them 

On the street 

In class 

At work 

Even when I’m all tuckered out in my bed at home 

And yet 

Feel so isolated 

Also known as an ambivert, an extroverted introvert is someone who exhibits qualities of both introversion and extroversion.

1. Their spot on the spectrum changes with their environment.

Your ambivert friend may be loud and gregarious around their family, but quiet and thoughtful at the office. Seeing them in both situations may feel like meeting two entirely different people.

2. Talking to strangers is fine – but don’t expect them to keep it to small talk.

Although an ambivert can hold up their end of a conversation, talking about the weather will not be enough to engage them. Their social energy is limited enough that they won’t want to waste it on meaningless chatter. They will likely push the conversation into deeper territory or bow out entirely.

3. They like to be alone – they don’t like to be lonely.

There is a big difference between the two. Choosing to sit at home with a tub of ice cream and a book feels fantastic. Sitting at home because nobody called them back feels sad and lame.

4. Getting them out of the house can be a challenge.

If you catch your friend on a highly introverted day, you may just be better off leaving them at home. They might manage to be social, but they’ll just be thinking about their books and their couch the whole time.

5. If they’re new, you can find them in the back of the room.

An introverted extrovert will approach new situations with cautious excitement. If they know someone in the group, they will likely cling to them a bit as they become comfortable. If they do not, they might waver on the edge of the crowd, slowly getting used to the water rather than jumping in all at once.

6. They’re selectively social.

They don’t mean to be snobs. They just have limited social energy and prefer interacting one-on-one or in small groups. For this reason, they can only afford to invest their social time and energy in those who they feel truly connected to.

7. Making friends is easy. Keeping them is hard.

They like talking to people, but they value their alone-time, as well. This can make maintaining a friendship tricky. If your ambivert friend makes an effort to consistently invest time and energy in your friendship, be glad. You are truly special to them.

8. Their social desires change with the breeze.

They might be desperate to hang out with you on Friday, but then not answer your call on Saturday. They’re not mad at you. They’re just super comfortable in bed watching films.

9. They can talk to you for hours.

If you manage to catch them in a one-on-one situation, an extroverted introvert will just not shut up. Once their interest is engaged, there’s no stopping them.

10. Listening is great too, though.

INFPs respect personal boundaries to no end, since they are the first ones to ask for people to respect theirs. I know how you feel because I used to be in a very similar situation, my INFP probably wanting to get closer but yet I was reluctant. From my experience, the best way to change this situation is to take small steps. Maybe sit closer to them, talk with them about something special to you, sharing your feelings, hug/touch them with no reason… Small gestures INFPs appreciate because they give them the feeling they are close to you. Don’t worry if you are shy, because if anything INFPs are understanting of the personal differences (Dom Fi is wonderful here). After asking INFPs for what they would do if they loved someone, they said:

Time together. Even if you don’t talk, if they are spending quality time with you, it’s a good sign. INFPs get drained if they are around people for too much time, so if they choose to share the time they could be recharging with you, you are precious to them. 

Trying to understand you better. INFPs find even the most little thing about the person they love interesting.They want to see the side of you nobody else gets to see, and to get to that point they will listen to whatever you have to say, but in return they will share everything that comes to their mind, even the tiniest of things. For example, how the sky is especially beautiful today, what they dreamed about last night or who they saw yesterday by chance. However, they worry about you finding them annoying, so they would only do it with people they trust and have no doubt trusts them back. Knowing you trust them makes them really really happy.

Physical affection. They would display a lot of affection, not necessary in public, but rather in private. In public things like holding hands or a random hug would happen, but it’s in private when they would become very affectionate, like random bursts of love from time to time. One thing that is always present is their stare-my INFP would look at me a lot, as if to make sure I was still there.

Randomness. Expect random ideas, random details, random presents. Their love will get to you in waves, the ways they choose to show it being very simbolic and meaningful, for example a present that holds a special meaning to both of you. In the end, they would love if you listen to what they have to say without judging them too hard, and if you take their dreams/ideas and insights seriously, everything will be great.