Budget: Candles $3600

i hate how they market alexa as a ‘member of the family’ like that’s SO fucking blatantly insidious and terrifying also if i wanted an untrustworthy/cold/emotionless machine in my life i’d just talk to my fuckin father 

“Guys stop bullying my wiretap”

#did we all collectively forget why Big Brother was called that

You spend two seasons being the person who never kills. You're a pacifist who will never raise a had to end a life no matter how much evil you face. You believe that all life is precious. The hired killer you befriended and fundamentally changed when he decided to end his violent spree by not killing you is dying. He's dying and the man killing him knows you won't pull the trigger even though you level your gun at him. You might love the man whose dying, and he may love you too. Except he'll be dead if you don't kill a man. You're a pacifist. You pull the trigger. You break your one rule. And the man you love has to live with the guilt of knowing he's the reason you did.

haha nooooo fandom don't sand off all the rough edges and pointy bits off of that character those are the parts I scratch my brain with haha

rummaging for an earl grey teabag like its a cigarette

just clicked a sausage link

When cats put their whole body into making a sound. Only to be squeak.

this is prime proof that this ENTIRE WEBSITE is autistic because nowhere else would a no tags post that's just an informative list about slang get this much traction.

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people