give me your love, love cloud

"so... today is your birthday again." you watch him, blinking slowly with this curious head tilt. "it almost feels like yesterday was your birthday, too."

jun brings over his plate of small, round cakes, sitting down on the floor with you as well without a second thought as to what's proper. "does it always feel like that?"

"it does," you say with a single nod. "i don't think i remember my own birthday. but i'll always remember yours, your highness."

he just smiles, passing you a cake. "then... happy birthday to you, too?"

"tomorrow, perhaps, my treasure." you accept the offering, and hide a smile before you take a bite. "today is your day."

soonyoung pulls away from jihoon, making his way over to you to steal a quick kiss. "and you loooooove me, too," he giggles, nose scrunching as he plants another kiss onto the top of your head. usually, it's a question, but not tonight. he kisses your cheek before he pulls away, mumbling about how warm his face is as he makes his way into the kitchen.

jihoon's just standing there, watching as his friend loudly goes through every single item in your freezer. "he really loves you, you know."

you do. "he loves you, too, silly." you smile up at jihoon. "you can go. i've got the birthday boy now."

he doesn't leave without a quick side-hug from you and a thanks for looking after him, something he'll pass along to seungcheol as well upon your request since you know jihoon always drops him off second since seungcheol lives closer to his place. you just make your way into the kitchen where soonyoung has gone quiet, just standing with the freezer open in front of him, eyes shut as he just basks in the cold air.

"hi, tiger." your hand finds his all too easily, and he opens his eyes to look at you, already beaming. "let's get you some water and go to bed, hm?"

he doesn't budge right away, brows furrowing together. "is it late?"

"it's a little late, but that's okay." you lean in to peck his lips. "did you enjoy your birthday dinner?"

he nods, and reaches up to pinch your cheeks. "seungcheol says hi." his eyes are gleaming when he giggles at you again. "and he missed arguing over the check with you."

you did, too, to be honest. "next time, then."

truly, you didn't mean to bring him. but that itch of feeling alone had crawled underneath your skin, and so you texted, and so he came running. his lips graze the underside of your jaw for a moment, just a chaste kiss before his head settles back on your shoulder.

"hey." his arm curls around your bicep, and then slowly slides down until his hand is in yours. "i missed you, y'know."

you told him once you'd been a lonely kid, a lonely teenager, and now a lonely adult who has friends but adulthood keeps you all busy in different ways. chris always promised that if you needed him, he would come running to keep you company before those dark thoughts can seep back in.

and he has. and one day, he won't have to run anymore. his lease will be up in a few months, and then he'll be moving in with you, and all you'll have to do is turn over if you want to see his sleeping face.

"hm?" you turn after sending off the last text, clicking your phone off. "what do you mean?"

"are you happy here?" he gestures vaguely to the room around you. it's your first vacation in a while, and one he'd gently pushed you to go for (whether you came here alone or with him). "it's was busier this morning than i thought it'd be. i know you like your space."

you do, but soonyoung's the kind of person who it doesn't feel like a drain on your social battery to engage with. at least most of the time--the exception is when he's with some of his more social friends, since that's when you're just along for the ride and watching him thrive, all while knowing he'll knock out the second the two of you get back to your bed at the end of the day. "i'm okay." you turn over, pressing a kiss against his temple. "were you worried?"

"it's your birthday," he says, arms coming to wrap around you. "i don't want you to be unhappy today."

he's so sweet, and it makes you smile hard enough that your nose wrinkles a little. "cute," you hum. "i'm happy. you make me happy."

his nose scrunches, too, when he smiles. "yeah?" he steals a kiss. "then happy birthday. you're my favorite person to be lazy with."

you just burst into giggles, and find refuge in his presence. the two of you will go back out in a bit to face the world again, to be social in that touristy way of talking about home and why you're traveling and where all you've been if someone prods for that information... but for now, soonyoung's arms are a place of peace.

"haven't we?" again, so casual... it's frustrating in an endearing way. "we take advantage of couple's discounts."

right, but both of you would do that with anyone. "where do you want to go?" he decides to play along. if this is a game, the two of you will laugh. but maybe chris is right.

fuck, chris is right. chris wouldn't lie to him about this. not when he knows how deep this goes.

you just let out this long hum as you think, and he almost thinks you're messing with him. "first dates are so hard," you mumble to yourself, and minho doesn't think he's meant to catch it.

"so it doesn't have to be." he dries his hands on a dish towel, and then takes a long sip of his tea as he watches you. "didn't you say we've been on dates before?"

you just nod, and don't answer him, still caught up in your thoughts.

"how long?"

that gets your attention. you look at him, "hm?"

"how long have you known?"

you open your mouth, then close it, averting your gaze. "after jisung asked why you don't date anymore a few days ago. you looked over at me for a second, and then made an excuse, and..." you let out this long sigh. "i realized things weren't so one-sided for me."

one-sided...? "how long, then?"

"years. i don't know. i think i've spent my entire life loving you." you rest your cheek against your palm. "and somewhere along the way, it turned into something romantic. i don't know when. i've never thought about it."

he laughs a little. of course your story is parallel to his own. he doesn't know when he went from loving you like a friend to loving you like your souls are more than intertwined, from loving you to being in love with you.

after a moment of studying him, you pose the question back to him.

"always, i think." he can't imagine a time in his life where he hasn't loved you now, though. in some way, you were always love to him. "is that cheesy?"

it's your turn to laugh at him, warm and loving as always. "a little. but i don't mind. we can be cheesy for a while." you just grin at him. "maybe dinner."

whatever you mumble as you gracefully flop down, he can’t make it out. ah. that bad, hm? he just nudges you closer so that you can hide your face in his shoulder.

he’s in love with you. he always has been.

but in the midst of what might be a rising migraine, he’ll just hold that fact to his chest for now. maybe tomorrow he’ll tell you. maybe next week. or maybe never: maybe his friends are wrong and you don’t feel the same way.

you just let out this hum, toying with his hair as you pull out one of looser little pigtails before redoing it. "you want me to put my hands on another man? even to do his hair?"

ah. you're evil today.

he cracks a smile though, and he leans back to look up at you, the top of his head bumping against your stomach. the gears are turning in his head for some kind of silly retort (you'd notice other men? doesn't feel like a good enough fit, but he'll keep it in his back pocket for another day). but all of it falls apart when you move so that you can dip down to kiss him twice: first on the tip of the nose, and the second on the lips.

"you're cute." you start to slowly remove the ties, fingers getting lost in his hair again, the way they always do when you're wordlessly stressing about something and just need to touch him in some way (to cling to his arm, to hug him tight, to squeeze his hand) to ground yourself again. he knows you well enough, though: if you need to talk about it, you will... once you've calmed down enough to think straight.

so jisung makes one move to stop you partially in your little calming ritual, taking one of your hands so that he can press a kiss against the side of it before letting go again. "i know." he teases you softly, but looks at your face one last time. "we match like that."