Nonbinary Posts Things

R.I.P. Liam Payne

Like, one family makes their toddler sit on the stairs for three minutes when he hits his brother or whatever. The stairs are well lit and he can see his family the whole time, he’s just not allowed to get up and leave the stairs or the timer starts over. He fucking hates it just because it’s framed as a punishment.

Another family use a baseball cap. It’s just a plain blue cap with nothing on it. When their toddler needs discipline he gets a timeout on a chair and has to put the cap on. When they’re out and about he just has to wear the cap but it gets the same reaction. Nobody around them can tell he’s being punished because it’s in no way an embarrassing cap, but HE knows and just the threat of having to wear it is enough.

"Well, tell me about them!"

"Oh! Okay! This one is the inclusion flag- its for everyone, including allies."

"What's this one?"

"That's the bisexual flag: it represents people who are attracted to two or more genders."

"Hmm... what about this one?"

"That's the nonbinary flag: it represents people whose gender isn't strictly 'male or female.'"

"Hmm... what's this purple one?"

"That's the asexual flag: it represents people who may not feel sexual attraction the way that others do."

She put her hand to her chest and got this really curious look on her face. "Tell me more about that!"

"Oh, happy to! So like if you're out with your bestie and someone real fine walks by and she's like 'omg look at him' and you're like 'girl get a grip?' Or like you just don't get what the 'big deal' is about sex or why everyone is so weird about it? But there's also room for like- you don't fall in love with the way someone looks, you're attracted to the person- their sense of humor and their kindness, or there's something about their personality that just makes it click for you? That's asexuality, too!"

And she got real quiet and seemed to think about it for a minute. So I grabbed our little informational sheet about different queer identities and handed her a copy. "If you want to do some research, this is probably a great place to start."

She thanked me and took an ace flag, stuck it in her hair.

Sometimes when you're online all the time, its easy to think that 'everyone knows about (topic), there's no reason to keep talking about it so much.' But while the people on the internet are real people, the internet ISN'T real life. And there are lots of people who do need to know that they do have community!

This is also useful for online shopping because you are probably not measuring the part they are expecting you to, which can throw off sizing

diagram to visually demonstrate what I mean. I find this a better explanation than saying "the narrowest part of your waist" because that is not always easy to visually see on all people for all manner of reasons.

him: "well if you're not allowed to use the men's bathroom, just go to the women's! that'll show them."

me: "yeah but I'm just as likely to have the cops called on me for 'using the wrong bathroom' in there. have you seen me lately?"

him: "but if one of the options is wrong and not allowed then the other one has to be the right option. what do they want you to do?"

my grandma, helpfully: "I think they want trans people to not go to Florida"

my dad: spluttering frustratedly

me: "I think the thing is that you are more logical and reasonable than Ron DeSantis."

Like sorry experiencing "passing privilege" is actually just being trapped in a room with a bloodthirsty t-rex and having people tell you that you should be thankful because thier vision is based on movement and you can just stand still. It's not a privilege to be erased, to have to lie to everyone around you to stay safe-ish, to have to closet yourself because you know even a single step out of line could be the end of your entire world.

None of us should have to be thankful to stand in front of a loaded gun while the person holding it goes "haha, don't worry, I only use this on faggots, and you're not a fag....right?" Like this is not a net good and it has almost nothing in common with actually being part of a privileged group.

if it isn't actively bad or harmful, no representation should be called "too simple" or "too surface level"

I have a whole argument for this about the barbie movie but today I wanna talk about a show called "the babysitters club" on Netflix

(obligatory disclaimer that I watched only two episodes of this show so if it's super problematic I'm sorry) (yes. I know it's based on a book, this is about the show)

this is a silly 8+ show that my 9 year old sister is watching and it manages to tackle so many complex topics in such an easy way. basic premise is these 13 year old girls have a babysitting agency.

in one episode, a girl babysits this transfem kid. the approach is super simple, with the kid saying stuff like "oh no, those are my old boy clothes, these are my girl clothes". they have to go to the doctor and everyone is calling the kid by her dead name and using he/him and this 13 year old snaps at like a group of doctors and they all listen to her. it's pure fantasy and any person versed in trans theory would point out a bunch of mistakes.

but after watching this episode, my little sister started switching to my name instead of my dead name and intercalating he/him pronouns when talking about me.

one of the 13 years old is a diabetic and sometimes her whole personality is taken over by that. but she has this episode where she pushes herself to her limit and passes out and talks about being in a coma for a while because of not recognizing the limits of her disability.

and this allowed my 9 year old sister to understand me better when I say "I really want to play with you but right now my body physically can't do that" (I'm disabled). she has even asked me why I'm pushing myself, why I'm not using my crutches when I complain about pain.

my mom is 50 years old and watching this show with my sister. she said the episode about the diabetic girl helped her understand me and my disability better. she grew up disabled as well, but she was taught to shut up and power through.

Of course!

Here is a list of some various shapewear things I use as an AMAB Genderfluid person:

Chest Stuff - Breast forms: https://a.co/d/3Ph0LBW - Cheap bra that I use most days: https://a.co/d/08kTI2v - Larger, full coverage bra that is more supportive: https://a.co/d/dtKLRXm

You can just slot the breast forms into the bra. Make sure to measure your band size so you get the right size. I would recommend starting smaller to average size (B/C cup) as larger breasts can be harder to make more casual outfits with (they're also just heavier).

Hip Stuff - The short hip pads I use (though they are currently unavailable): https://a.co/d/8apRadX - Longer hip pads that I use sometimes, they are sometimes too long for certain skirts, dresses, and shorts (also unavailable D:): https://a.co/d/iXXzvPJ - Butt pads: https://a.co/d/0zdzmZv