Quietaphobic

to clarify, David Duchovny is banned from the No. 5 Orange strip club for comments he made in the late 90s about Vancouver’s crappy weather, not for  behavior that normally gets one banned from a strip club. 

😭😭😭

people have been illegally dumping their old boats all around abandoned neighborhoods in detroit so this one newscaster on the local news station has been collecting them and finding out who the owners are by looking up the ID numbers on the boats and then she puts them on a flatbed truck and she brings them back to their owners wearing a fucking captain’s hat and she knocks on their doors and goes “hey we found your boat!”

idk what’s funnier, pets with stereotypical human names like bryan and mckayla or pets with completely ridiculous names like hamburger and concrete

counterpoint- both, one of each. “these are my cats, switchboard and gary.”

Or my dogs, Radar and Carl.

Paging @shaebay

The chaotic evil one kills me. 😂😂😂