BE CRIME DO GAY

Every time I see that last pic, I have to note that the funniest line is the one immediately after the highlight

I do think it's kind of funny when plot summaries are like "character A encounters the last person they expected...their ex." Idk about you guys I'd be less surprised if my new coworker/roommate/random dance partner was my ex than I would if it was, like, Megawati Sukarnoputri the first woman president of Indonesia.

Any of my exes could plausibly attend the same conference as me. But I'd be really surprised to encounter former US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice

This poll is ambiguous if you (a) Don't have an ex or (b) Are Egyptian diplomat Hassan Gamal Ahmad Hassan, whose marriage to Megawati Sukarnoputri was anulled in 1972.

being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.

i'm really glad 6 isnt afraid of 7 anymore and you could all stand to be more supportive of their relationship

age regressing by 5 minutes so i can remember what i was just asked to do

writing hockey rpf but the romance plot slowly gets dropped as it becomes clear the entire thing is just an excuse to write fanfiction about my team making it past round one of the Stanley Cup playoffs

*puts my hand on your shoulder* Don’t worry, I have your back. We’re gonna turn this crisis into a crwaswas

Going outside with wet hair from showering is humiliating because everyone sees you and thinks stuff like "eww gross here comes the wet girl". But going outside with wet hair when it's raining? Unambiguous boon because now everyone is thinking stuff like "wow, she's so topical" and "her hair is a scathing critique of the times we live in"

[new to sadism] I'm gonna hurt the blood out of you

[new to masochism] no 😦

[new to voyeurism] erm guys what's going on?

funniest shit is going down on discord rn

update: he's asking me to give him an "alpha/alphaed" pronoun set rn. i've told him that he needs to give me the full 5-word conjugated set before i do. this is the ultimate test for a 14 year old boy

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

"unbecoming" is such a great word. bro that shit was so rude you no longer Are