TO THYSELF: BE ENOUGH

here is what you are     :     a monster. bile courses through you as blood would, carbon fills your lungs, maggots eat at your heart. a dead corpse, living and walking. every step you take is a motion of the earth; a force to be tampered with for both god and man alike. each rotting breath propels you forwards into the unknown but not unfamiliar fields of your own agony and pain. 

here is what you really are     :     a little boy, enraged. your body is weary from nights of sleepless work. every step you take is a testament to the miracle that you are still alive. each shaking sigh is one step closer to never breathing again at all.

you want to hold your daddy’s hand again. be his little boy, his rowdy trouble maker. you want to fix him ham sandwiches and fall asleep under his arm when the nights get too long and the world too scary. 

wanting and getting are two different things. 

for the fifth time that night you wreck your side of the workshop, sending mech parts clanking across the floor and walls. a screw bounces off the amber and cuts you near your eye but your own well being is very low on the list of important things to you. you hear your brother walk into the room and more than anything you want to run into his arms and cry. say you’re sorry but this is too much, say that all of it is so so much more than you can handle. instead you yell at him. 

❛ i can’t get these stupid calculations to work! if i can’t figure out a way to shield the automaton’s music box without messing with the fluctuation of energy then everything will be ruined. again! i..i just..i need more time. dammit! ❜

{ do u take criticism on ur posts……………… }

that’s how it is most of the time. max doesn’t open up because he figures that people only care about themselves so he keeps to himself.

❛ well a fine howdy do to ya’ veronica. name’s polaris. you can call me po if ya’ want. now what’s the most wacked out place to chill in these parts? or, better yet, the best eats? ❜