* lost / crest

“Well, you don’t have to miss out anymore, huh ? Must have been rough. For me, stars are more than just little lights in the sky. Guess you could say I’d like to reach them as much as I rely on them . “ 

“ you should leave, if you are being a disruption. ” you scowl and face her, your eye staring but not quite seeing. “ i was about to begin my prayers. ” that is why you stay here- to pray instead of listen to the blathering words of the people around you. “ so, you are stopping me from doing so. which is being a disruption. ” you fire back at her- frowning deeply.. “ i do not want to talk to anyone. this is why i am in the cathedral. it is a place of quiet and solitude. ”

you don’t answer her question. did you sleep ? no. maybe. ( you didn’t remember. ) sometimes- you fell asleep on the pews, or on your feet- but that was not any of her business. her voice cuts through the ghosts. ( your delusions the back of your mind states- in a similar voice to manuela. ) “ leave me. ”

you didn’t come here to lecture him , so you won’t . being left alone is all he wanted for the time being , but was it really a good idea ? “ i’m sorry , but i think i’ll stay here . the cathedral is a public place , after all . “ your attention shifts to the large pile of rubble before you . how wonderful this place used to be before the war began . . . it truly was a shame . 

you want to make things better. but she must be grieving. ( she is grieving herself, you think- and that is the most painful grief of all. ) “ i understand. i will not push you to talk about such things, but- my offer still stands.  i will listen to you with an open mind and heart. ” you shake your head. “ i of all people, am in no place to be judging others. ”

“ faking it is a good place to start. ” you look away from her. you don’t know what she had been through exactly, but- you understood what she was feeling, at least, on some level. “ there’s no need to apologize, i understand where you are coming from. you must not let this consume you, it only leads to pain. ” you clear your throat. “ if you wish to unload your burdens, i shall always make time for you. burdens are often lighter when shared. ”

“ your body is always your own, has always been yours, and will always be yours. ” your mouth presses together in a thin line, eyebrows knitting together. “ you can’t let yourself be swallowed up by others, leana. take care to remember that. ”