learn how to fly

“I gotta keep myself entertained somehow. So, I just read a lot of jokes on the internet to make myself laugh. Pity Laughs are still laughs though. Lord knows I have gotten a lot of pity laughs.”

“Sounds like you have a lot of free time in your hands. I usually google useless information about my favorite artists. The problem with pity laughs are that they are not laughing with you, but at you. You can take it lightly and laugh alone, but when you are having a bad wave, damn, you just wanna punch someone. Can you see me punching someone? No one can. It is a bit annoying.”

“Yes my name is Marco, no I don’t want to play Marco pollo with you.” 

“What if it was the actual Marco Polo game? It is not a bad game! Besides, it was also based in someone, so it is not like they created it for you...”

“Aren’t they? Although, I am not good at telling a joke, period. I fail miserably at them and I think that itself amuses people, so they pity laugh at me.”

No no no listen – it’s a good joke. I promise. What do you call security outside of Samsung? Guardians of the Galaxy!

No shit? Where did you come from? I came from a small town too. I actually kinda miss it. Why did you move out here? Evan’s famous, I’m sticking to the theory that I’m just a regular human being. 

Fort Washington, California! It is really small place, like three hundred people sized. I think I miss the close knit sense of community, but honestly I don’t miss the lack of privacy, which you understand better than I do. I── It is complicated, but I believe there are more opportunities here. Oh, please, you are not just regular. I am regular.

Not really? Isn’t it everyone’s dream to lay back and be fed and fanned and not do anything? Like in the caartoons? I reckon you’re hanging about wwith some very sexual people and your mind’s gone astray.

My dream was to work the government, possibly as president or in international relationships, but I guess to each their own? Oh. I didn’t watch many cartoons. Actually, I think I’ve seen more of them now than when I was a kid. It is also called living in Los Angeles, Mr. Gowan. I was pointed out that I am too innocent for my own good, so it is probably a good time to... change.

I’ll let you have that one cause it was funny, but just be like, careful around him. I know you’re not stupid, but but sometimes people just suck. No pun intended.

He gave me that bottle of wine that you and James liked so much! And he didn’t try to get me into his bed.

You’re no fun at all. You got one of the top ten most bangable celebs right in your face and you don’t grab his ass? I’ve taught you nothing. If I saw him anywhere I might end up arrested instead of laid, let’s be honest here.

What can I say? It is called manners, and you are lacking in them. Oh, I do know that... It is so not the point. It would be extremely disrespectful to him. AND the supposed girlfriend, because this ‘just friends’ story is... Weird to say the least. Please, don’t get arrested. I am pretty sure you wouldn’t survive a day in jail.

Well, essentially, yes. It’s everyone’s dream to be lazy while they’re served brownies,is it not? And maybe a big leaf fan while I lay back. That sounds like heaven to me. I’m also a rubbish cook. Just awful.

Is it one weird sex dream? Because maybe I’ve been around too many perverts, but everything in Los Angeles seems to be sexual somehow. But the second part makes a better explanation.

It’s just not the same as being a normal actor.I mean I don’t condemn it,it’s just that getting paid o have sex is creepy and a little degrading. Maybe he is nice, but not everyone has a good side, N. I just worry  about you.

Just because they don't need huge acting skills, it doesn't mean it is not hard work. And yes, pun intended. It is not like I am doing, Alex. Don't worry!

Oh come on! It could be like a feminist statement.Men do it to women all the time! Do it for me, Noa. Grab his ass in the name of friendship. If you love me at all, you’d do this for me.

Oh, please, I wouldn't do it without his consent and I would still be intimidated as hell. If you want to touch his butt, just go do it! If I was able to see him, you will to!

I’m willing to trade my body for rocky road brownies. Anyone?

A bomb of sugar. It is not that hard to cook. Besides, this is Los Angeles. You can get it anywhere, can't you? Or do you want someone to get some for you so you don't do all the hard work?

It’s a mouth full. Sure you don’t just wanna call me Kenzie? I’m genuinely concerned about your safety. Because I can’t even imagine what’ll happen if you meet someone who is actually famous. Noa, it’s nice to meet you, pretty name. 

Oh, I will cave at some point. I just need a moment. This doesn't happen at all times to me. I mean, the town I come from has like three hundred people and none of them are famous. Just a bunch of soldiers. Someone who is actually famous? You guys are famous. Oscar famous! Thank you ──Kenzie...