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@no2partyanthem

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yeah he is
The Zombies - To Julia (For When She Smiles).
Larkspur - Â Lucy Culliton , 2014.
Australian,b.1966 Â -
Watercolour, gouache on thick white wove paper , 56.0 x 76.6 cm.

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unfortunately for everyone that follows me i am back in my one direction era
"It's a set, I suppose. There's this club, but it's a set. And it's almost...You can sorta tell it's a set⌠but there's something in that that⌠I'm drawn to. There's a point - I think it's at the end of Le Samouri - where it kinda all goes down in this club at the end. The final shot is it sorta moving away from what's just happened. It moves out, the shot, almost to the point where you'd, like, see the stands and the lights. Not quite, but it's sorta right on the⌠precipice of that. And this is⌠I dunno, there's summat magic about that⌠idea to me. That it's⌠not quite real." â Alex Turner, from a discussion about the influence of Melville's films (TBHC Track x Track interview, 2018) "This is an attempt to extract the truth⌠approximately." â Miracle Aligner (2016), The Last Shadow Puppets
â Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground
when joan didion said we are fatally drawn to anyone who offers a way out of ourselves
cuntiest thing the boys ever did was own the name one direction like they are the sole owners of the brand name one direction and simon doesn't own shit so that at least now i know that he will never be able to profit off of liam's death

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It's really really hard to go about your life after this . What makes it harder is how my life is physically not at all affected by him being gone. It's so difficult to digest that. He wasn't part of my life physically. None of my friends feel things like I do because he wasn't part of their lives at all. That's the reason i keep coming back. To the people who lost him like I did. Tumblr has always been a safe place. But now in times like this, it's a whole another level of a comfort. A hug, that's what it's like being here. Like we're all in a virtual room, all saddened and all missing him. I'm thankful for this place.
me, bursting through your bedroom wall in a shower of dust: bUT that hug before they go onstage is what weâve always wanted from One Direction, and thatâs what makes them unsustainable as a phenomenon. What we always wanted from them was what they did not give to us intentionally
you: wh
me, briskly removing my shoes and shaking fragments of rubble out of them: One Direction is perhaps the first band to exist entirely within the Panopticon, from the very beginning, and yet even that was not enough for us. Can you imagine how difficult it would become to hold onto a âselfâ when what people want most from you are the moments of your life that specifically are NOT FOR THEM? It wasnât just what they DID, we wanted to know what they FELT, constantly. We demanded to know but we did not want to be TOLD. The knowledge could only be âauthenticâ if it was not meant for us
you: why are you in my house
me, climbing into your bed and pulling your blankets up to my chin: The endless âdocumentaries,â the social media â we had an unprecedented, and unprecedentedly intimate, degree of access to these people, and still what we valued most were secrets and accidents. What we wanted was their interiority, and when we could not have that we invented it. Wouldnât you resent having to constantly be GRATEFUL for that grasping, rapacious love? I would
you: are you crying?
me: We wanted to love them by devouring them, and now we have nothing to eat but our own hearts. can you bring me a hot water bottle
Le rayon vert, dir. Ăric Rohmer, 1986
i've been scrolling the dashboard feeling like im in a time capsule and kinda forgot why i'm here :)) but then i remembered and cried again :(( i miss the good times posting and making gifs, when i was an AM blog with the coolest mutuals and then when i started losing followers bc of 1d jkahkj i miss it aaaaaaallllllllll
i hate this pic bc everyone is staring @ zayn but zayn is only looking at liam
he only got two eyes
every day. every single day i think about this post. iâve been on this website for 5 years and no post has ever changed me the way this post has.

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not to be too sappy but idek what i wouldâve done if i didnât have a space to talk openly about all of this with those who truly understand it. itâs one thing to talk to distant friends or family members about this passing, but itâs another to talk with a community who just understands without any explanation or judgement. weâre all just wading around this fandom with each otherâ those names i havenât seen pop up in agesâ trying to process whatever weâre trying to process and giving virtual hugs and sending love and making edits and posting encouraging words. fandom is so powerful. community is so powerful. i hope i never ever forget that. because itâs always been here for me in ways that no one else besides those who are here or been here understands.
just fortunate for all of you. no one gets this place like yâall get this place. and thatâs special.
i did not once ever have a full nightâs sleep from 2013-2015. nothing new to say that hasnât already been said but it was so fucking fun being a one direction fan while they were still releasing albums/touring. canât even put it into words or describe it. u were constantly terrorized while also having the best time of ur life.