✰Nixon✰

I think the way you said it was kind of stupid. The wording, I mean. Somehow, the way you used the term "submissive" in another context aside from sexual probably threw people off. Your point wasn't likely construed properly. In terms of a relationship, all you wanted was to be "the man", for lack of better phrasing. You had the strange desire for a boyfriend who would not only be ok with, but want you to propose. To buy him flowers and chocolate for Valentine's. You wanted to be the one to save him when he was in trouble, it's why you'd gotten so strong, after all. It was difficult to put that into words without sounding stupid, and your outburst certainly didn't help, as it was unplanned. Everyone in class thought you a nuisance now, you'd bet. Which is why you hadn't been to class in a while.

Your dorm room was locked. Three days, I think. Your eyes had been closed for just as long. Sleep was the only thing you could do. There was no way you'd be able to walk into class after what happened. Maybe if you'd come in the next day and pretended nothing was wrong it could have been played off. But you'd been in your room for too long. If you went back now they'd surely notice. They'd surely laugh.

Maybe you'll drop out instead

You'd slept for so long you'd caught a headache. At first you thought of sleeping it off. But you couldn't sleep with that much pain. You needed medicine, but students weren't allowed to keep pills in their rooms. Medicine was kept with Recovery Girl. Which means you'd have to leave your room. Which means someone may see you. Maybe you could just sleep it off. You closed your eyes and felt an immediate shock of pain.

You wouldn't be able to sleep it off.

Slowly, you crept toward the door. Pressing your ear against the wood, you attempted to listen for any footsteps. Kirishima walked by. Along with Kaminari. You'd memorized the footsteps of your classmates. Although Jirou and Momo were hard to tell apart. It was quiet for two minutes. You were checking your phone. The time had to be perfect. If you waited until five minutes someone would most likely be coming out of their room again. Three minutes was perfect. It had to be. Thirty seconds till. You began planning. Visualizing how you'd avoid the creaking wood beneath you. Ten seconds. You stood up, stretching a bit. Five seconds. The door knob, grab it. Slowly twist. You swung the door open quickly in order to keep it from screeching too loudly. Taking one step out and then..you felt something beneath you. It was squishy.

You looked down, met with a pair of sleepy brown eyes.

It was Uraraka.

Your entire body tensed, a horrified look on your face. Uraraka shot up just before you slammed the door in her face. Locked. And back to bed you went. The medicine surely wasn't worth it. Go back to your room. You pleaded, although you were sure she wouldn't. It was silent. Until, of course, she knocked.

"L/N?"

No. Go away. This is humiliating. She most certainly thought you were strange. You knew(thought) she could never actually like you. Especially not after all that's happened.

"I just...wanted to talk. I've been- we've all been worried about you. You haven't been to class in awhile." Well of course you hadn't. What kind of idiot would go back to class after saying something as stupid as 'submissive girlfriend'? What kind of backwards world would you be living in if you believed it was fine to do that? It was a spur of the moment thing. Brought on by harsh emotions. Uraraka must have been an idiot if she expected you to return after that. No, that's likely the mental illness talking. You don't believe those things about her. It's not fair to think something like that about her when you don't truly believe it.

"I think it's not good for you to stay in your room for so long. I must have startled you, lying out here. I'm sorry. Can I come in?"

You thought it best not to answer. You were sure she would leave eventually. This was a problem you would not face. Perhaps jumping out of the window would do well. You would grab onto each ledge on the way down. So you wouldn't be harmed. Would that work? Run away, go missing for....ever(?). Yes, you're sure that would be the best solution. You peeked out from under the covers, staring at the window.

You jolted up, however, when there was a sudden pounding on the door. It shook you as multiple hands began beating on the wood from different angles. It couldn't have been just Uraraka.

"We love you, L/N!!"

It was gradual. One by one you heard positive affirmation after positive affirmation. It grew louder and louder.

"Please come out so we can give you a hug!!"

"You better have been brushing your teeth in there!!"

"I'll never forgive you if you have a cavity!"

"Shut it! L/N's too pretty to get a cavity!"

That's not how that works.

Pieces of paper began to be shoved beneath the door. Shaped like hearts, stars, and rainbows. Hesitantly, you crept toward the door and picked them up.

"please don't change. I'd never forgive myself if I made you feel like you had to."

"I LOVE YOU"

"YOURE TOTALLY HOT"

"PLS PEG ME"

You've gotta be joking. This is so corny. More and more letters came in, crowding under the door. How could you keep them all? How could they all be true? Surely they were ly-

There was another one. And another. You couldn't think. They couldn't love you the way they claimed to. You couldn't have been as great as they claimed. The beating on the door stopped, but the verbal assaults(positive) continued.

"Please come out!"

"We miss hanging out with you!!"

"You still owe me a piggy back ride!"

This was too much.

"Let's be friends like we were before!!"

They couldn't mean all this

"Have you been training? Can I train with you?!"

How could they ever want to-

"We're still besties, right?!"

They must have been lyi-

"There's a new boba shop opening up! Let's all go together!!"

At one point it was incoherent. But suddenly, altogether

"We miss you, L/N!! Let's be friends again!!"

. . .

When did you start crying? You think it must not matter. What a headache you'd have after this.

You pressed your forehead against the door, sobbing against the wood. Sliding to your knees, your friends went quiet. Surely they must have hated you. They cared for you so much. How could you ask for anymore?

The best feeling in the world. You're sure it must be acceptance.

"I'm sorry." You wept

"I'm so sorry. I never meant to worry you. I never meant to-"

"L/N?"

. . .

You'd come to know him as the most accepting person there would ever be. Somehow, you found him trying to save even the villains. It could never be said that he'd given up on anyone.

That is the kind of person Izuku Midoriya is.

"It's been awhile. You've been in there for three days. I hope you've been taking care of yourself." His voice was calm and gentle. You soon realized you hadn't heard him speak from the very beginning. His voice was at your level. He must have been on his knees as well. "You made quite the mess back in class. Who do you think had to clean that up?" He laughed a little. "Still, I'm glad it happened. Maybe that's selfish, but I'm happy I was able to know you a little more. I know it must have been scary. I know it must still be. But I want you to know I like those things about you. Your confidence, how bold and strong you are. I've never known you to let those attributes get to your head. You've always been kind, since the day I met you." There was a pause. He smiled "Do you remember when we went on that mission together? It was tough, and at the end you picked me up and spun me around like we were getting married. It was so embarrassing, but I never said I didn't like it.....I'm sorry if I made you feel that way."

You recalled said mission. Along with picking him up. You noticed his red and uncertain features and put him down with a swift apology. He assured you it was fine, but he couldn't look at you without going red for awhile. You had taken it to mean something negative.

"Despite all that, I still want to be friends. Even if that's all we'll ever be. I'd never want to lose you, that would hurt too much." He went silent.

Uraraka had of course noticed the hints Izuku laid out. But she knew he still wasn't sure if this whole situation was about him. In fact he was sure it wasn't. That's why he refused to confess. He could never say such a thing while you were in this state. It was fairly obvious the two of you liked each other. Far more clear to Ochaco now that you told the truth.

She lost. This was it.

"So please. Please come out. I miss you. We all miss you. Let's be heroes. Ok?"

It took strength. Quite a bit, in fact, to stand up. But you did, and they all heard it. Izuku leaned back in anticipation, not sure if it was true. Slowly but surely, you unlocked the door. It slowly creaked open and there you stood. Wrapped in a blanket, looking at the floor, and still six feet tall.

You said nothing, but there was nothing to be said.

A blunt force slammed into you almost immediately. You stumbled back as the sheer force of your friends pulling you into a hug threw you to the ground. You were there for only a moment before they hoisted you back up and dragged you out into the common area. A large feast was almost finished being set up. Aizawa had evenly distributed food onto everyone's plate. Though the biggest plate was yours. Apparently, allegedly, and supposedly, Sero texted Mr. Aizawa to let him know they'd gotten through to you and the feast was on.

You were placed in between all of your friends as they welcomed you to take as much food as you wanted. They were quite close.

Izuku sat right next to you, encouraging you to eat. He clarified, though, that it was alright if you could only handle a little. He smiled that smile you loved so much. You were sure it would be ok. You were sure 'How Much Do I Hate Myself Today?' the gameshow you'd always found yourself the winner of, would be off the air for awhile.

(luckily, ive done you the favor of removing body odor from this universe. we all know you'd stink if I hadn't)

Slowly, you picked up your chopsticks and reached out for the first bite of food you'd had in days. Everyone noticed. They watched in silence. You took a bite.

First of all, he starts out with a bit of an insult "you were always far behind me" thats not true, but it's Bakugou's opinion. I'm not sure I like how he states it as fact. "You were always so far behind me." Rather than "I used to think you were always so far behind me." or "I thought you were so far behind me."

Bakugou does, however, imply that him looking down on Izuku because of him being quirkless is wrong, and I think that's awesome.

After this, he starts giving a reason(a pretty illogical one, in my opinion) as to why he bullied Deku. Bakugou felt that Izuku was somehow miles ahead of him. Next he goes into what he felt, why he felt the need to hurt Izuku. It's because of something he was feeling. And of course, how could you talk about that with someone? Especially being immature and at that age(around five or so). He didn't have to talk about it, but hurting someone is never the option(we knew this already).

Next he talks about how he was distant. And OK, that's good. He should have been distant.

Except he wasnt distant.

I can admit that on normal circumstances Bakugou didn't go out of his way to speak to Midoriya, but when Deku would speak to/compliment him, insults were thrown. Bakugou should have been distant then. Also, "I grew up distant and always tried to beat you down" are contradictions to eachother, imo. Bakugou, back in middle school, went out of his way to bully deku. That's not distant. Now back when they were small, yes. I'd say Bakugou was kind of distant. He still made fun of Izuku though, so he probably wasn't as distant as he thinks he was.

Next he talks about he could never truly be superior to Deku, how he always lost. But this is(in my opinion), unnecessary. He's giving all these reasons as to how things didn't work out for him, and that last part being placed well....last kinda makes it seem like because everything didn't work out right, he's sorry. I know this isn't how its meant, but I feel it could have been worded differently. I can't help but wonder, though, if Izuku had submitted, if Bakugou had been superior in his own eyes, if he'd succeeded, would he still be sorry?

In alot of cases, though, Bakugou succeeded in beating Midoriya down(temporarily). Physically anyway(the final exam, and when he impaled Izuku with his headpiece).

(Note: A differing opinion has lead me to think differently about this. Bakugou had become distant in an emotional sense, he and Deku weren't as close as they were before. No longer besties, if you understand me.)

At least, after this, Bakugou explains that he realizes nothing he said really matters. I like that he can understand this, and I appreciate that he feels Izuku is owed an explanation at least. The one thing I hate about this is that his reasoning for doing what he did is longer than his apology. His apology is one line.

It's just one. If someone told me that they put me through hell because of an idea they'd placed in their own head that was so incredibly far from the truth(like Bakugou saying that he thought Izuku was looking down on him during their first battle at Ground Beta), I wouldn't feel any better. As a matter of fact, I'd feel worse about it. There is literally nothing Izuku could have done to prevent the bullying. Even if he wasn't quirkless, Bakugou back then, might not have been able to fathom the idea of someone being even a little better than him. So he probably still would have bullied Deku. Only this time Izuku might have been able to fight back depending on the quirk he would have been born with.

If someone murdered my mother, and stood in court explaining why, far more than being sorry, I wouldn't be any happier. Yes, the reason matters, but the amount of time you spend explaining the reason should be virtually nonexistent compared to the time you spend showing remorse and sorrow.

I very much enjoy how he understands that Izuku wanting to leave UA and go it alone wasn't necessarily wrong. I think Bakugou is correct here. Nice Bakugou, very cool.

I'm also very happy that Izuku apologizes for saying that everyone couldn't keep up. Very cool, Izuku.

Please don't get me wrong, though. I'm proud of Bakugou for even bringing this up regardless of how he did it. I think that Bakugou apologizing is a huge step in the proper direction. I cant help but be concerned over how he'll be different in the future though.

Well, why would I be worried about this? Because he's shown promise before, but soon after goes back to being pretty rude. Bakugou explained to that child that looking down on others would prevent him from realizing his own weakness "If you keep looking down on everyone, then you won't notice your own weakness."(My Hero Academia Episode 80(sub): Relief For License Trainees -16:00). Yet, he continued to look down on others in a sense, even as recently as the Endeavor Training Arc. Bakugou's arrogance continues, even when he realizes that looking down on others is wrong. He claims that Todoroki could never notice something he didn't already notice(My Hero Academia Episode 103(sub): One Thing at a Time -7:18). And when he claims that Endeavor, the Number 1 Hero, is ripping off of his style "He's copying my Explosion" (My Hero Academia Episode 103(sub): One Thing at a Time -6:50).

Truly, I hope Bakugou's arrogance and negative confidence will subside, and we'll be able to witness him being blatantly and openly kind to others. I'm not asking Bakugou to change his character, he could become an Inosuke(Demon Slayer) of sorts. He could even become a more obvious Tsundere, with the narrative showing his thoughts and agreeing with him actually caring in a more obvious fashion.

But, that's just what I think