you were scared and so was i
W.C - 2.5k
A/N - sorry if this is bad, i’m new to posting on tumblr. I’ve been craving new content for Laurance so i decided to try writing one.
I’ll see you soon
Four words that are always exchanged as a goodbye - because it’s never a goodbye, it’s always see you later.
It wasn’t surprising to hear that Laurence had flirted with the newcomer in Meteli, nor was it a surprise to watch as he leaves with the newcomer, Aphmau, as you would later learn, to accompany her to the Nether to help her save a young boy trapped in there.
But it was surprising, heartbreaking to learn that Laurence had sacrificed himself to stay behind to let Aphmau and the young boy get out. If anything, there was this wave of hot red that had run through your body. Because why would he do that? He’s only met Aphmau briefly, and then he goes and risks his life for her?
He’s a guard, it’s his duty
To hell with it’s his duty bullshit, you thought. The wave of hot red is still simmering under your skin, even after all this time. It’s been weeks since he’s been sealed away. Ungrth is restless, he can feel Laurence clinging onto his humanity. You, along with the others, worry for him. All you need is to see him, touch him, and you’ll be okay. This simmering feeling will go away and you’ll be relieved.
But what if he’s changed?
People who go into the Nether rarely leave alive, and those who do…..are….well, changed. Becoming a Shadow Knight is better than dead. But what if he doesn’t love you anymore? What if he comes back and isn’t the same Casanova flirt you adore? Alive is better than dead, you chant this in your mind as you ride to Phoenix Drop. You had the gut feeling of needing to see Aphmau, to see if she’s found any leads in getting Laurence out. Irene knows you’ve tried, and have found nothing.
You haven’t seen Ungrth in a couple months now. It isn’t easing your anxiety one bit. If Ungrth has done something….you can’t lose them both. You could already imagine the devastation that would creep up in your throat. They’re okay, an added chant in your mind chimes as you continue riding.
It isn’t long when you reach the entrance of Phoenix Drop. You’re met with a sleeping Dale before your horse neighs, abruptly waking him with a grunt. “Where may I find Lady Aphmau?”
Dale relaxes, waving his hand lazily, “saw her go towards the forest.” You nod, leaving your horse near the entrance as you walk near the edge of the forest before spotting her. You call out to her, she turns around to face you with an enthusiastic wave.
She greets you, “I’m so glad you made it! I hope the journey wasn’t harsh for you”.
In return, you shake your head with a polite smile, “it wasn’t a problem.”
As you walk together, you’re met with one of her guards, who you learn his name as she asks, “Garroth? What are you doing out here?”
As he looks at us, he gravely responds, “we may need to postpone our conversation from earlier…..it looks like another problem has arisen…”
Looking towards the forest is a corrupted dragon hovering over an orange haired male in battered clothes. It doesn’t even take you a second before recognizing who the dragon and man is. Aphmau yells Ungrth’s name as you yell Laurence’s, you drop down to an unconscious Laurence side. Tentatively reaching for his chest to feel the faint rise and fall of his chest. Your voice wavers, “Ungrth…how?*
Ungrth tells the two of you how he was able to transcend through realm barriers to reach him. How he could feel Laurence clinging onto his humanity. Nevertheless….a change has occurred within him.
“Are you okay?” Aphmau asks as she ascends the stairs. You’re standing near the entrance, looking out the window, lost in thought. You turn to her with a shrug, “can I see him?”
Aphmau mutely nods, “yeah! Zoey actually said that he’s conscious now, he’s been asking for you. When he woke up he grabbed her hand thinking it was you. But….she also said that…..he may be blind”
“What?” Your breathing stops. Blind. Before Aphmau can explain further, you walk past her to descend downstairs towards the room Laurence is resting in. Blind. Before you can even turn the doorknob, Zoey exits the room to block you.
“You need to calm down.” You bristle. Blind.
“My lover just came back from the Nether and is blind. His wyvern sacrificed himself and my lover could very well be a Shadow Knight now. I can’t be calm right now.” Blind. Blind.
“Please. He’s in an emotional state right now. He’s adjusting to his new changes, he needs someone to be with him right now.”
It takes everything in you to not blow up at Zoey right now. You knew in the end that she was right. Laurance just escaped from that hellhole and needs support, needs you. So you sigh and nod, “Okay.”
Zoey sees your resolve and nods too. Before opening the door and letting you step inside before shutting it. The room is bare. Bare as in there’s only a bed in the corner where Laurence lies and a table next to it where a lit candle sits with a small window on the other side.
You hold your breath as you silently walk towards the bed. In the candle lit, Laurance looks exhausted. The light highlights the bags under his eyes, the gray in them. He stares off in the distance, you wonder what he’s thinking - feeling. As you stand near the bed, you whisper his name. He looks in your direction as he says your name.
Your breath shutters as you grab his hand, with the other you cradle his face, “hi, my love”
You watch as he physically relaxes at your touch, he murmurs “hi love. I’ve missed you”
“I’ve missed you too,” giving a kiss to his hand, a silence washes over you two. His exhaustion is eminent, you’re curious to ask what happened…..but it’s too soon to talk about it. However, your curiosity wins.
“What happened to you, Laurance?”
Laurance sighs, “I cannot describe the pain, both physically and mentally damning it was, it is to become one of them”
“So it’s true…you’re a….” You trail off, it’s hard to breathe.
You watch Laurance’s jaw clench before answering, “yeah….I am. I tried so hard to keep my humanity. I knew you were waiting for me, all I could think about was your face…voice…smile…everything. It was so dark in there, you saved me from losing myself.”
You frown to keep yourself from letting your tears slip. Resting your head on his shoulder, you whisper his name as he continues.
“I mean it. You’re everything to me.”
“You’re everything to me Laurie, I’m just glad you’re back with me.”
Laurance chuckles humorlessly, “you know I’d rather be blind and with you than back there with sight and not with you.”
He goes quiet again. Mulling something over in his mind before he whispers against my head, “I’m scared. Will I be able to stay like this for long or will I turn? If I turn…..will you still look at me the same way, with love in your eyes? Or look at me as a monster?”
You squeeze his hand as you press your lips against his cheek, “I'll always love you Laurance. It killed me inside not knowing if you were okay or not. Finding out you were left behind in the Nether was devastating to hear. You have no idea how angry I've been.”
Laurance shifts before murmuring, “are my clothes tattered, I feel disgusting right now.”
You chuckle, “yeah..your clothes are kind of ripped right now,” you hum, “you wanna take a bath? Aphmau has a bathroom upstairs that we could use.”
Laurance sighs, “yeah, I’d like that.” You leave Laurance to make sure that Aphmau is okay with letting him use the bathroom before returning to him. You take his hand, walking slowly with him to make sure he doesn’t bump into anything as you guide him up the stairs into the bathroom. He quietly grumbles as he’s guided, sighing as you gently let him sit down near the basin.
You smile as you ruffle his hair, “you gonna strip for me handsome?”
Laurance lets out a genuine laugh at that, “I can’t see and you’re gonna take advantage of me?” You giggle in return.
“Of course my love,” you help him tug off his clothes as you fill up the bath before guiding him in. You stay seated outside as you help him bath before he murmurs, “my hair too?”
You oblige, lathering his hair in shampoo before gently rubbing it in. It’s a comfortable silence between the two of you. You play with his hair while you’re at it, Laurance fully relaxes, letting himself lean back against you.
It’s a few minutes when you tilt his head to let the water run over his head. You help him out of the bath and changing into a fresh set of clothes that Aphmau had laid out for you before slowly guiding him back down to his room. He sits on his bed, grabbing your hand to have you lay down with him. You settle beside him with a hand on his chest, “you should rest Laurie.”
He runs a hand down your arm, squeezing, “will you stay with me?” Humming in response, you pinch his side, “always. Where would I go?”
You two stay like that in the calm silence. Laurance slowly drifting off and you drawing small circles on his chest. You can’t help feel relieved with him next to you like this. Yes, he’s different. But he’s here with you, alive — breathing. Soon, you’ll have to tell him about Ungrth if he doesn’t already feel the broken bond between the two of them already. But right now, you’ll let him sleep. Stay with him until he wakes, all help him adjust to his changes. Because you’ll get through it, the both of you, together.
Laurance wakes up a day later, groggy and surprised that being free wasn’t a dream, you help him eat breakfast before you leave to go out into town for more food for him, leaving Zoey to watch over him. The town center is bustling with venders. Some food, others workshops. You find Aphmau as you walk along the streets exploring.
She smiles as she sees you, “Hey! How’s Laurance?”
“He’s okay, he slept for a long time. I kind of thought he died in his sleep.” She laughs at that.
“I’m actually headed to Kiki’s barn to check up on her, you wanna come with me?” She asks.
You nod, letting he guide you through the roads to a rather large barn. Kiki smiles as she sees the two of you walk in. She wipes her hands on her apron as she walks over to you.
“Ah, Lady Aphmau! I’ve been meaning to see you!”
She explains that she wants to throw Alexis and Kyle’s baby shower in the barn. Aphmau excitedly agrees, the two of them exchanging ideas for the set up of the party as you look around her barn. It’s as large as it seems from the outside. You’re surprised to see a variety of animals in here since a few of them look foreign.
You zone back into the conversation when Kiki brings up Laurance, asking if he’d be up to joining the baby shower. Aphmau looks at you before you reply, “I’m not sure. He’s been sleeping a lot so I’m not sure if he’s up for it.” They both nod in understanding. Not before long, you somehow get swept up in decorating the barn so Aphmau goes in your stead to check up on Laurance. Decorating the barn is fun, calming. Kiki shows you her different animals as well. The ones that really fascinate you are the birds and the bigass hamster. She laughs at your remark about it, saying how it used to be Aphmau’s.
A few hours later, the party has started. All of Phoenix Drop has come to celebrate the two babies. You sit by Emmalyn who sits, looking at Brendan longingly when you spot Aphmau entering. You walk over to her with a smile as you ask, “is Laurance coming?”
She nods, “yes! He should be coming with Cadenza now? Maybe we should check up on them”
You smile at her, “no worries, I’ll go by myself!”
You head out of the barn into the cool night. You’re halfway into town when you spot Cadenza and Laurance. You let out a loud laugh as you spot his new look. He immediately smiles upon your laughter, he calls out your name, “is it bad? Don’t tell me Cadenza dyed it blue or something.”
You cup his face to gently tilt his head so you can see it better. He holds your wrists as you smile, “it’s a bright blue Laurance.” Cadenza laughs at that while Laurance groans, “noo! I didn’t want you to see me like that!”
You and Cadenza laugh harder at that before you wheeze out, “I’m kidding my love. You’re back to your natural brown.”
He sighs out in relief, “my love you’re evil. Who knew my lover was so mean?” You kiss his cheek, “who me?”
His hands settle on your waist to pull you closer, murmuring, “are you not my lover hm?” You hum in agreement before Cadenza clears her throat, reminding the two of you that you aren’t alone.
“Get a room lovebirds.”
Laurance groans, “ugh, I thought she left.” You giggle at his words before turning to Cadenza, “thanks for doing his hair, it looked rather awful without your maintenance.”
“You could’ve done it for me,” he huffs.
You roll your eyes, “you could’ve too. You know I can’t keep a steady hand, I would’ve been laughing too much.”
Cadenza laughed, “I can only imagine! His hair was practically mangled!” You laugh too as Laurance shakes his head. She continues, “well, I guess I’ll leave you two to….make out or something,” before she leaves for the barn with a wave.
Laurance scowls at her words, mumbling, “Cadenza I swear….” You chuckle at the two of them. They really are siblings with how much they bicker. You run your fingers through his hair, “it really does look good.” He smiles at your words, resting his forehead against your own.
“I missed you today”
You press against him, “I know, I’m sorry. I got side tracked with helping Kiki with decorating.”
He closes his eyes, “hm, Aphmau told me. I would’ve liked to see how it turned out.” You hum in response.
“We should head to the party Laurie”
He whispers an agreement but doesn’t make a move to let go of you. It’s like he’s breathing you in, as if he’s spent a lifetime away from you and this was your first reunion. You whisper his name, but he tilts his head to capture your lips in a kiss. You immediately reciprocate, wrapping your arms around his neck as he deepens the kiss. It’s felt like forever since you’ve shared a moment like this, of intimacy. Not like earlier in the day when you helped him bathe, of course it was intimate. But you’ve yearned for him, to be back wrapped in his arms like everything was okay. He was okay, and that’s all you need.
