One thing I noticed about Portgas D. Ace that pains me is that he never valued himself as a person. He only saw value in himself in relation to others. He only valued himself as Luffy’s big brother, he only valued himself as Whitebeard’s son/subordinate, he only saw himself as the son of the devil (aka Gol D. Roger). Even his dream wasn’t centered around himself, but around making Whitebeard the King of the Pirates as a token of his gratitude for the unconditional love he showed him. He likely would’ve lost the will to live a long time ago had he not became blood brothers with Luffy and Sabo, he poured all of his love into Luffy after Sabo “died" and was forced to become his caretaker despite being only three years older. He constantly sought approval from others as the measure of his worth and whether or not he deserved to be born.
Ace was a kind, loving, sweet, and gentle man who treasured his family and friends and would bend over backwards to make them happy, but he could never extend that same love to himself. His last words were “thank you for loving me”. As if loving him was a burden or a chore that someone begrudgingly did for him, because he was blind to the qualities that made him so loved by Luffy and the Whitebeard Pirates. The way he bursts into tears as he dies in Luffy’s arms is absolutely heart-wrenching.
And that’s what makes his death so tragic. He will never get to overcome his self-loathing, to find value in himself, to accept that he deserves to be loved, and to heal from his emotional scars just like Robin has (and continues to do so).
germansingergirl
prguitarman
snowghoul
theartofmadeline
kianamaiart
