Niko 💫✨

Hi, I'm Angel/Niko.

This is my rant and vent blog. I tend to vent a lot and be really edgy about it though. If you don't like that, then don't follow or interact with this blog, interact with any of my others.

I also accidentally reblog stuff onto this blog so literally ignore that 😭

other random things to know -

I go by both Angel and Niko. I currently prefer Nik or Niko. Please refer to me as such unless told otherwise /th.

I am lesbian, acespec, and genderfluid

I speak and/or understand English, Tagalog, and French (or, FLE)

I am quite literally obsessed with From The Gallows by iDKHOW

I prefer if you use tone tags

for privacy reasons, my partner will remain unnamed and will be addressed as either Husk, Stolas/Stols, Ozzie, or literally "my partner"

(and btw he uses all pronouns)

maybe if I sit there long enough one day I'll start to feel better

until then, I'll still sit there

I'll still sit there when I'm at my worst

when I feel like I'm worth nothing

when I feel like no one loves me

when I'm reminded of what happened

I sit there because it hurts, but maybe if I sit there long enough it won't hurt anymore

until then, I'll still sit there

I will sit there until I feel better

and if I never do, I'll still sit there

- from 11ish last night when i stopped any engagement with anything to right now as i speak i have been unable to stop crying

- ive been very drained mentally for two or three days now and have wanted to kill myself both yesterday and today

- ive been very drained physically and have had nausea for a week now

- i had a very bad silent panic attack today

- i had multiple flashbacks today which caused me to dissociate multiple times for different lengths of time and it progressed through the entire day

- pretty much everything that happened today had no direct reason and im not sure why pretty much everything happened i just feel very unwell

- i hit my head too hard and it hurts