fufu

-Have you ever done it?

Hot, sharp shame burnt Alex's insides

- no, not really?

The embarrassment was becoming a little too itchy and uncomfortable, so he was quick to follow up

- But, I mean, I've done... something

Alex mumbled the last word, the momentary bravery was quick to disappear under the intensity of Franky's look.

-show me

Alex's life seemed to shift with that moment. He cought himself thinking about these simple and efficient words, just like Franky always was, engraved in his body, marking him up forever when he was asked again.

It was too much, and Alex was now shivering, trying to collect the remaining of his quickly disolving braincells with face and neck probably more red than the flags at the track.

-show me.

***

Alex reached behind his balls slowely, lightly squeezed them with an exhale, caresed the skin behind it with Franky's eyes laser-focused on each of his movement, and finally touched his rim. He didn't even slip anything inside, not really, just pressed his fingertips to it, pads of his forefinger and middle one applying some pressure, and yet it was enough for goosebumps to form on his arms, thighs slightly shaking.

Franco thought he might blacked out for a second.

In that moment, he had given the promise to map out Alex's body with his hands, lips, tongue and teeth, to make him feel the pleasure he hadn't yet did.

And young, sweet Alex, with watery eyes and hard erection believed each of the words that was whispered into his damp, naked shoulder.

He still thinks that Franco underdeliveried on the teeth, but then, suspiciously familiar voice in his head always reminds him that it was Alex who didn’t get him the chance to.

***

Alex was laying on his bed, with lube everywhere, trying to reach where he wants it, but the angle is wrong, his hands starting to cramp and his back too, and he can't change the pose but he can't reach where Franco could either, and the memory of big knowing arms and fingers, soft lips and hot whispers start to overwhelm him.

So he lays there, in his bed, heartbroken, guilty of it with cramped, lubed fingers and barely hard dick, crying, alone and unsatisfied, his body searching for the warmth of embrace of the person Alex pushed away himself. Sudden realisation that Franco just learnt his body well enough and was always so whiling to give that Alex didn’t even feel the need to learn how to satisfy himself. So he never did.

Later, he taught himself. He let other people touch where previously only Franco could.

All the promises rubbed with lips into his skin were buried under the sweat and kisses of others, deep enough that they almost never bothered him anymore.

***

Franco stood there, looking at the drawer with toys. Sudden shameful rush run over Alex's body. Almost like dejavu. He knew he didn't do anything wrong, but it still felt weird, forbidden and embarrassing in a way he only felt when Marc for the first time decided to have an "adult discussion" with him, already after Alex got with Franky for the first time. And, of course, almost as embarrassing as said first time with Franky.