Nikki Palumbo

IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT. She was all alone with no one to talk to. Because someone had removed her from the group text.

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THERE SHE WAS, unsteady but determined. Her hands were wrapped around its neck – killing that bottle of Cabernet. The only evidence: the splatter on her silk blouse that Jeff pointed out as soon as she returned to the party. — SHE SCREAMED OUT the wrong name. — THE SILENCE WAS DEAFENING as her final words echoed on the other end of the conference call: “I love you.” — SHE WAS FROZEN IN TERROR as the hand reached out – for a wave. But was greeted with her fist-bump. — A SHUDDER RAN DOWN HER SPINE. And the words echoed in her ears: “We’re just friends.” — HER FOOTSTEPS HASTENED, yet she sensed she was being followed. By a long stream of toilet paper. — SHE WINCED IN PAIN as it caught up with her: the realization that that’s not how you pronounce that word. — A SHRIEK AT FULL VOLUME, she sang the wrong lyrics. — THERE WAS BLOOD EVERYWHERE on the white canvas sofa, where she’d been sitting—for a period.

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Another December, another end-year list. This year, we’re celebrating the top 100 numbers of 2017.

100. 15 99. 53 98. 61 97. 90 96. 22 95. 58 94. 33 93. 86 92. 48 91. 24 90. 7 89. 55 88. 87 87. 74 86. 18 85. 43 84. 28 83. 77 82. 65 81. 68 80. 5 79. 42 78. 67 77. 83 76. 11 75. 62 74. 96 73. 46 72. 25 71. 72 70. 32 69. 6 68. 71 67. 84 66. 56 65. 26 64. 73 63. 78 62. 8 61. 94 60. 20 59. 81 58. 76 57. 44 56. 79 55. 36 54. 98 53. 16 52. 23 51. 82 50. 57 49. 91 48. 31 47. 70 46. 29 45. 80 44. 95 43. 10 42. 64 41. 92 40. 35 39. 93 38. 47 37. 59 36. 21 35. 3 34. 97 33. 85 32. 60 31. 27 30. 52 29. 17 28. 63 27. 69 26. 54 25. 9 24. 100 23. 49 22. 34 21. 66 20. 40 19. 2 18. 51, 4 (tie) 16. 50 15. 38 14. 14 13. 75 12. 101 11. 88 10. 19 9. 41 8. 13 7. 99 6. 1 5. 27 4. 16 3. 30 2. 89 1. 12

Friendly Lifeguard Starring Jack Frederick Directed by Jackie Jennings

This blackout sketch is maybe my most “Nikki, this should just be a New Yorker cartoon” idea I’ve ever had.

Protest Planner Starring Lisa Kleinman, Moujan Zolfaghari, and Amadeo Fusca Directed by Jackie Jennings