feeling grey

Amidst this quietude, the thought kept flashing in her mind like the neon signs of midnight diners. Trying to draw her attention towards it.

And once it gets her attention, she realizes why sleep felt like a luxury of the dreams today.

It was the day, when, three years ago, the man lying beside her stepped into her life, one step and another, and slowly made a home for himself in the land of her heart.

Three years ago, on this very day, some hours later, entered someone who would make even "Rookie" sound like a melody to her, who would bring storms along and also the calm after.

Who would be the harbinger of happiness she didn't even know she deserved.

A smile illuminated her face in the dark hues that were spread around the room. She chastely placed a light kiss on his forehead, just like he did every morning as if he was expressing his joy of waking up next to her every day.

As she lay down once more, ideas expertly turn in the labyrinths of her mind. Trying to decode a solution for the ponder of hers.

She had two options: To arrange an extravagant surprise or to go for a simple, sweet one.

As she struggled between the two options, she let the pages of recollections turn and bring in front of her, instances from her first year.

The chocolate from the vending machine. The staying in touch with a patient for years. The staying up all night looking after a premature baby in NICU. The love for his fur baby, Jenner.

The heart of gold hidden beneath rivulets of riches and fame that he never asked for but got anyway.

The child hidden deep in his soul that only craves for love and happiness that he was deprived of. The things that would be a gazillion times precious to him than an extravaganza arranged just because.

And just like that, the knots of confusion had untied themselves and in front of her lay a clear path of what she was going to do to make this day, one of a kind.

----------

Pooja had never thought that slipping out unnoticed would be such an excruciating job. For a man who sleeps so lightly that the slightest of sounds could wake him up, it was a major headache for a clumsy human like her to slip out without disturbing his peaceful sleep.

The tings of the elevator reverberated through the mute that was draped over the highrise. Her footsteps landed softly on the gravel, as her eyes let the moonshine bewitch her soul. It was oddly comforting, to be awake as the world lies in a peaceful slumber.

She drove through empty roads, locks dancing gracefully with the cold winds as the traffic lights interrupt them now and then.

And in these mystic hours of the night, she lets herself go back in past, to cherish the countless details her mind had captures that day and kept stored in a box, neatly, just so that she could open it now and then, and be reminded of the point where it all began.

Sooner than she had thought, soft lights greeted her cheerfully, welcoming her in the heaven of a kind. Sweetness had been sprinkled in the air of the room, and every corner of the area had a warmth to it that made her feel at home even at these late hours.

After greetings and smiles, she laid out her order in front of the lady at the counter, whose eyes bore a kindness like no other. She nodded along, and as soon as the talk is done, she got to work. In minutes, everything had been picked and packed, and as the cha-chings got done, she left behind the sugary sweet world hidden in the corner of the city with a sweet thank you and goodbye.

Back home, she placed the articles she had just bought on the kitchen counter. And in hushed steps, she made a beeline to the balcony, with an aim in mind.

The return journey followed. But this time, checklists were being prepared mentally, items being crossed, ideas being thought and plans being made. This time the dance of the locks go unnoticed, the cold of the winds just acknowledged. This time, there was a hurry tied to every step she placed on the gravel and the tiled floor of the building.

Looking around, she spotted the pot that bore the blossoming flowers swaying in harmony. For a moment, she let herself capture their beauty in her mind, and let their soft petals remind her why she sowed them in the first place.

They were his favourite.

Slowly, she handpicked a few of them, arranging them neatly and once again tip-toed the room. For a split second, she thought she had woke him up. She felt him call behind her. With her heart beating a tad bit faster, she turned to inspect, making her best attempts to look normal. And just as she found that it was nothing but a figment of her imagination, let out a relieved sigh.

Just like they were.

One after the other, she arranged everything as per the picture she had painted in her mind.

It wasn't perfect, but then she didn't want it to be. It was perfectly imperfect, just like their story was.

With one look at the clock, she knew it was time. And for the moments that would follow, she happily said goodbye to sleep.

----------

"What happened?"

The touch that stroked his forehead had the softness of velvet.

With every stroke, a calm coursed through his soul, letting him enter a deeper state of slumber. It wasn't until sometime later, that he registered the hushed whispers in the mellifluous voice he cherished.

Without warning, a strange panic overclouded the peace and every string of sleep broke as he woke up with a start.

The concern in his voice made her laugh, and for a while, everything else that was happening around him disappeared. It had been three years since he had first heard it and it was even before the overtaking by the whirlwind of emotions that he had known it was one of the most perfect things he had ever had the chance to hear.

"Nothing happened, Ethan always-worried-for-me Ramsey." She giggled.

"You woke me up in the middle of the night for nothing?"

"Not for nothing. Come with me." She stretched out a hand, and it was a matter of seconds before his own took it.

But still, he couldn't help but ask, "Where?"

"You trust me?" She asked and it shocked him for a moment that the answer wasn't obvious to her.

"More than I trust myself"

Her eyes gleamed and he could feel his own heart reciprocate. Out of the handful of things that were the universal truths of his life, this was one of them.

In distance and heartbreak, and in eumoiriety, there was one thing that could never waiver. It was his trust in her.

As his protege, as his colleague, as his friend, and as his partner. He trusted her with his life and knew that she would probably give up her own to save his.

In a swift motion, he picked the paper up, reading the words over and over again.

She led the way, he followed.

Slowly his eyes met with the beautiful scene in front of him.

It was ethereal.

For a moment, he felt as if he was living in a dream. After all, she had been a permanent member of his dreams since that kiss in Miami all those years ago.

In the glowing golden heaven that had been created right in the middle of their apartment, lay a platter full of... cupcakes. Red and Chocolate Brown. On the couch lay a bouquet. Along with it, lay a piece of cardstock paper.

"Three years since this plot twist came into your life. Happy first meet anniversary"

Picking the small, neat bouquet, presumably made by her, he let the softness of petals remind her of the moments when being close to her felt like an impossible feat to achieve. Felt like a distant, unreal thing to need. And of moments like this, where the dream had become a reality.

His heart was too full for him to be able to speak in coherent sentences.

Pulling her close, he kissed her with everything he had in him. As if wanting the kiss to convey, just how glad he was that this plot twist came into his life and made it as beautiful as it was, at the very moment.

Carnations. Scientifically, Dianthus caryophyllus. And if the Greeks were to be followed, it meant, "the flower of love". The flower that spoke the language of love between them today, without them having to utter a word.

But this one simple arrangement of cupcakes, candles, flowers and love, overthrew them all. Overthrew all their glamour. Because it is easy to flaunt money and arrange parties as a representative of status.

The remaining moments of the night were spent devouring the piquant cupcakes, talking about nothing and everything.

Laughing, placing chaste kisses, and getting lost in the world of each other's eyes.

There was a realization. Of all the eloquent galas, elaborate fests, exquisite parties he had attended, there was always a gamble, a mix of love and enmity. Often, there was an attempt to boast, a tool for the rich to rub their money on people's faces.

----------

But when someone does the simplest of arrangements for the display of love, makes pain-stalking efforts to make someone else's time special.

That is something that gets etched in one's heart forever.

She had already left for her shift.

The jovial rays of the welcoming sun bring the much needed golden hues after the perfect night.

Through all his dreams, the smile was still plastered on his face, and his first thoughts, like always, had a picture of his love in them. His orbs looked beside and captured the view of the empty side of the bed with disappointment.

Jostling himself to freshen up, he didn't let the enthusiasm fade. He wished to hurry through the regular tasks of his day so that he could work on the surprise he had planned for her.

As minutes passed in a languid flow, the day becoming brighter and sweeter, he finally got to the kitchen and sat at the kitchen table, sketching his plan.

It is at this moment, that his eyes fell on the neatly kept envelope on the table.

In a hasty motion, he opens it.

Inside he found three articles: a letter, a note and... a bar of chocolate.

Just as he had thought her surprises for him had got over, he was met with another one.

He smiled, thanking the stars of the distant sky, which now lay behind the drape of light of the gleaming sun, for aligning the way they did on the day she decided to make a home for herself in the heart of his.

The very chocolate she had bought from the vending machine for him on the first day of her residence.

The same chocolate that had tasted sweeter that day because it had been the first time somebody had paid attention to what he liked.

That 50 cent chocolate tasted better than the most exquisite arrangements of a chocolatier.

Next, he picked the note which read, "First read the letter, and then check your messages. There is a tiny surprise hidden for you there <3"

He shook his head, as a laugh escaped him while reading 'tiny surprise'. The fact that she felt, believed, that her gifts for him were nothings.

It was the biggest lie anyone had ever believed in.

Honouring her request, he slowly opened the letter, and for a moment, stared in awe at the beautiful typography of her hand as the font that she saved for him shone at him in greeting.

Because for him they were everythings.

For him, they were like the gift of those stars they gaze at on cloudless nights. For him, they were priceless, beyond the limits of any comparison.

Dearest Ethan,

Slowly, his eyes registered each word she had written, each word she had taken out from the locker of her heart and placed neatly, stringing them into a line to shape her thoughts, feelings and emotions through them.

And with every such line, his heart swelled a little with love, his smile became a tad bit bright, and tears welled up in the corner of his eyes, little by little.

As I write this, the flames of the candles beside me flicker impatiently and the cupcakes tempt me to take a bit of them. I know I have told you what I feel for you about a million times, but still, it never seems to be enough.

I was really like everyone else. A doe-eyed intern wanting to learn from the best. Learn from you. In my eyes, you were an icon (and to be honest, you still are and you will always be). I never wanted to know how you looked. All I ever wanted to know was what you held in that majestic mind of yours. Meeting you in the first moments of a new life, was like seeing your face the first thing in the dawn of a new time that lay ahead of me.

And even though you were harsh, I still remember the word that slipped so carelessly from your mouth that day. The word that I had never thought would come to mean so much to me. The word that I craved to hear in the best and worst moments of my life.

When you called me "Rookie" the first time, you were indicating my amateurism. But every time you have called me "Rookie" since was spoken out of a love that I didn't know I deserved.

To be remembered by you. To get an autograph from you. To get guided (and chided) by you. All of these were the highlights of my first day. The day that began a journey of understanding, loving and trusting, from moments when we barely knew each other to moments when we knew each other better than we knew ourselves. The day when the plot of the novel of your life twisted and decided to bring me, your Rookie, into your life.

It has been three years to that day. Three years of a journey on which we had to surpass storms that left both of us broken. Three years of getting broken by love and getting mended by love.

All that began with an intern running late, who incidentally (and luckily) got to do a thoracotomy with the man who was going to become a regular figment of her dreams.

Happy three years to the day since we first met, E.

I love you to the universe and back, and even though this journey with you has given me a lot of pain, I would never have it another way.

Yours forever, Rookie.

"A song that I took out from the vault of my memory for you. I felt it sums us up better than my words can. When you listen to this, I will be probably be sipping coffee, between Diagnostics Team meetings and patient consultations, missing you and waiting for the hour when I can come back home to you.

Letting the teardrops fall, he moved to unwrap the last of the surprises she had left for him. In his chats, lay a message from her.

Along with an audio track.

I love you, E❤"

He wanted to run to her and pull her in his arms. Tell her that he missed her too. Tell her that he loved her too. But he waited for her to return, as he didn't believe a text message to have the power to convey the amount of love he had for her.

Instead, he chose to get lost in her melodic tunes, in lyrics of a song that told their story.

(I heard from the fluttering butterflies, the tale of a garden)

"Titlion se suna, kissa maine bagh ka

Bagh main thi ek kaali, sharmili, unchui

(In the middle of which was a flower bud, shy, untouched)

Ek din, manchala bhavra aagaya

(One day, came an unquestioning bumblebee)

Khil uthi woh kali, paya roop naya

(The bud opened its petals, it found a new life)

Puchti thi kali yeh mujhe kya hua

(Wondering, the bud used to ask, what happened to me?)

Phool hasa chupke se

(The flower used to smile stealthily)

Pyaar hua chupke se

(It is love that happened, secretly)

Kyun naye lag rahe hain yeh dharti, gagan

(Why does the sky and earth look new to me)

Maine pucha to boli yeh pagali pawan

(I ask the jovial wind and it replies)

Pyar hua chupke se,

(It is love that happened, secretly)

Yeh kya hua chupke se."

(What happened to you, secretly)

The bud fell in love with the bee secretly.

Just like they fell in love with each other,

Secretly.

PS: If you are reading this, I am very grateful for you. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a great day🤎

Tags💖 (Please let me know if you want to be added or removed or if I forgot you):

Perma: @gkittylove99 @neotericthemis @udishaman @aestheticartsx @twinkleallnight @schnitzelbutterfingers @sophxwithers @sweatyrysconnoisseur @nikki-2406 @choicesfanaf @trrfanaddict @starrystarrytrouble @gardeningourmet @parkbarks @mvalentine @lovablegranny @mercury84choices @lawyerlies @phoenixrising308 @adiehardfan @quixoticdreamer16 @a-crepusculo @clanlahela @gryffindordaughterofathena @natureblooms24

Open Heart (All fics and edits): @lucy-268 @maurine07 @bellcat2010 @headoverheelsforramsey @estellaelysian @shanzay44 @mysticalgalaxysstuff

Ethan x Pooja: @aleynareeves @choicesaddict5 @stygianflood @mysticaurathings @jamespotterthefirst @ilikemenbutonlyethanramsey @takemyopenheart @mm2305 @kit-rookie-princess

This is the best birthday gift for me because after all of this time I FINALLY found Zayneb photo-shooting with a GUY which I don’t have any idea who is but he gives me some goosebumps 😩😩😩and also he seems to be creepy at first sight then turns so SEXY especially those tattoossss🥵🥵🥵

Now that I’ve seen these photos with the mysterious guy I can’t help but think… how Ethan would react if he saw these? Should I do a HC or a stand-alone fic? 🤔🤔

Also happy birthday to my main character which turns logically 26 (VIRGO QUEENS HEREEE ♍️) in this year: Dr. Klaw Craig. Whereas I turn 19 lol. I just don’t know where to start with this character that has inspired me to write so many things and thanks to her I have up to 100 WIPS that I haven’t finished ‘cause my heart can’t take it to post them😭😭😭