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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Sweet Seals For You, Always

pixel skylines
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
trying on a metaphor

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$LAYYYTER


⁂
Claire Keane
occasionally subtle

#extradirty
Mike Driver
Keni
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

★
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
DEAR READER
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@nightlythievery
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Took my tiny child with me to the Halloween store. Walked in and immediately realized it would be a terrible mistake.
They had those jumpscare machine things everywhere, lots of spooky noise machines, scary looking animatronic things, crazy decorations, just the whole 9 yards and then some. I immediately went to turn around and leave when I heard a noise coming from my arms.
My one year old child who gets scared if we cough…. was laughing.
She makes this precious “eee!” sound and starts vibrating when she sees something she really likes, usually an animal or a balloon, and she points right at the big zombie thing by the door and does that. I carry her in past a huge 10 ft tall Pennywise inflatable, and she smacks me to tell me to stop so she can look. She ponders him for a moment, and his glowing light-up eyes, then points at his hand and shouts “BEEM!” Which is her word for “balloon.” She made us stand there under Pennywise for at least 3 minutes, which is a really long time for a one-year-old.
Then, she begs to get down, so I let her loose and she just books it all over the store. Finds the creepy demonic looking babies and shouts “BABY!” then gets this confused look on her face and tries to wipe the “dirt” off their faces. Decides it’s not worth it, goes and picks up a severed hand decoration, hands it to me and says “hand.” Yes, my dear, it is a hand. And yes, that severed foot has “toes,” you’re very right.
Finds the wigs, runs down the aisle shouting “hair! hair!” and grabbing her own sparse little headfuzz so hard I think she’s going to rip it all out. Then she found the speaker in the wall that was blaring Monster Mash and she demanded I pick her up so we could “DANSSSE”. But she got distracted by the big spider decorations, which she christened as dogs by running toward them and barking.
She ran up and down the aisles of costumes touching the fabric and making her little “tss tss tss” giggle that she does when she’s having Much Too Good a Time. Every so often she’d stop, look back to make sure I was there, and point at something and vibrate with her aggressive “EEEE!”
A man turned a corner wearing one of the creepy latex masks. He immediately started apologizing to me, saying “I’m so sorry, I’m looking for my friend, I don’t want to scare her.” Meanwhile my child is standing there looking up at him with the most confused look on her face. Not scared, just confused, like he is so dumb and she can’t figure out why he would want to make that stupid face for so long. But he rounds another corner all hunched over, she flaps her arms and sighs, and takes off to go scream at the creepy lawn decorations.
When it was time to go, nothing could convince her to come to me willingly, so I had to promise her one last look at the balloon man while I picked her up against her will. Pennywise placated her, and we left the store with a smile on her chubby little cheeks. She demanded we wait and watch the big inflatable-flailing-arm-tube-man out front, the one that was bright orange and had a jack-o-lantern face, and she bounced and wiggled and danced in my arms despite its fan being louder than the loud motorcycles that scare her on our walks. She waved bye-bye to it as we left for the car.
Basically, that was the cutest thing that’s ever happened to me in my life, and it’s so crazy how so many things are culturally taught and kids are just… immune to that. All she saw was bright colors and things she recognized and could name, in a place she could explore and touch. She has no concept of clowns being scary or zombies being A Thing or what constitutes “creepy” and “spooky” and “gross.” To her, a severed arm with gore hanging out the end doesn’t represent pain or violence, it’s just “arm,” and it’s got some weird stuff on the end that’s funny colors. They’re just things, there’s no context for it.
The world is weird and beautiful and it’s so cool to see it through the eyes of someone who is so New to this planet and hasn’t been influenced by society and culture yet.
slavoj zizek email is a mood
Alright fanfic readers - poll time!!!
You're looking through fanfic and see a work that only has the fandom listed and the characters/ships involved.
Will you read this fanfic or do you need more information about what's involved?
yes I will still read it
no I need more info before I read it
Keeping it basic with this. Please reblog for a larger data pool ❤️
IOI JUST ANNOUNCED A NEW ELUSIVE TARGET!
We’re excited to announce a brand-new Elusive Target coming to HITMAN World of Assassination featuring international superstar DJ and actor Dimitri Vegas. Featuring Dimitri Vegas’ likeness and voiceover work, the upcoming mission will be available for free to all HITMAN World of Assassination players later this year.
"We’re thrilled to partner with Dimitri Vegas on a brand new Elusive Target mission in HITMAN World of Assassination", said Hakan Abrak, CEO of IO Interactive. "This will be the first Elusive Target mission that we’ve created in two years and we’re very happy that our passionate community and newcomers to the game will be able to enjoy it for free later this year as part of IO Interactive’s 25-year anniversary celebrations."
Here's the full announcement!
My brain just returned from its lunch break and noticed "part of IO Interactive’s 25-year anniversary celebrations" in the quote.
HELLO
THERE WILL BE CELEBRATIONS
WHAT ELSE WILL BE PART OF THOSE CELEBRATIONS

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My partner is absolutely losing it because the UK is not only not getting zero points, but is in first place at the moment.
Can't wait to see who gets zero points 😀
Ugh I just lost Silent Assassin because I got spotted by one of the ridiculously numerous enforcers in Mumbai TWO METRES FROM THE EXIT, on Master difficulty.
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Today really feels like Christmas for Hitman fans, doesn't it?
Oh god yes
OH GOD YES
120,000 word AU fanfic of 47 being adopted by polar bears incoming
READ THE FULL INTERVIEW HERE

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reblog and put in the tags what was the first movie/tv show that traumatized you?
So, in a hypothetical Hitman Little Mermaid AU... Who would be the merperson and who'd be the human?
Diana would make a hot mermaid, but 47 kinda has the vibes? Giving up his voice just to be with her.
And he'd have to swim around topless
47 absolutely would be the mermaid. Lady Diana Burnwood is being transported by sea to a miserable arranged marriage, and conspires to sink her ship to get out of it. She is rescued from the waves and saved by taciturn merman 47, and the two have a heartfelt conversation on the beach where Diana says she wishes she could be as free as him, and that he would be around to protect her in her new life. 47 makes a deal with the sea witch Providence to get a serum that will allow him to be with her and protect her, but in exchange for forgetting about his life as a merman. He has to make her fall in love with him within three days, but he does that easily by killing her awful fiance, Edwards, and Diana teaches him that life truly is better where it is wetter, but turns out that's not just under the sea.
Immediately dropped everything I was doing to make this 🧜♂️
I love all of you so much, thirsty thirteen because we keep drinking seawater in case we find merman 47
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
“Wait…” Ariel protested quietly, “… your briefcase on the table…”
He stopped then, and she watched his face under the helmet as he considered for several seconds. His expression never changed– not even a flicker– but he must have come to a conclusion because he glanced out into the corridor a moment and then pulled the girl after him back toward the long, dark wood table, past the General’s lifeless body, to where the briefcase waited to be collected.
Back in the corridor, the girl did her best to not slow him down– she didn’t want to stay here any more than he did. They met with no resistance and it made her wonder enough to ask,
“Where is everyone else? H-how many people did you kill here?” There had been at least six soldiers, not including the General. She did not think all of them shared their leader’s… proclivities. In fact, she was almost certain none of them did. She didn’t know much of anything about the military, but she was pretty sure lower ranking guys had to do what higher ranking guys said with very little (or no) questioning. Maybe that didn’t make them innocent, but they certainly had much less… culpability… for everything. Besides, if they had been any less professional, things could have gone much worse on the plane. It would grieve her to know they’d been killed.
Then again, she really didn’t know why she bothered asking. What had made her think the assassin would answer her questions? Instead, he led her through the darkened corridor silently, carrying his briefcase in his other hand.
(Read More in ao3 via the top link!)
Holy Jesus H. Christ , my heart skipped a beat when I saw the update, I tell ye. That’s how much love I have for this fic lmao.
The Nordic Game Awards post reminds me that my partner and I still need to finish It Takes Two. It’s such a great game, but we didn’t have the time to play towards the end... Time to pick it back up again.
(I still hope that Hitman 3 wins in the categories both games are nominated, of course. It’s where my heart is.)
Hitman 3 is nominated for the Nordic Game Awards!
Here's the link!
Hitman 3 is nominated in the following categories:
Nordic Game of the Year
Best Game Design
Best Technology
Best Audio
Winners will be announced in roughly a month on 19 May, during NG22 Spring (17-20 May).
Fingers crossed! 😀

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Jane Perry on Women in Games
"There were some comments that came up on Twitter after the game was released saying ‘Oh, she's ugly, she's not v…
(It's a good article and you should read it.)
🥰
I love this woman.
Hitman 3 Year 2 Info!
So... Travis gave some interesting answers in this thread in the Hitman Forum.
Glad to hear we'll get the unlocks either way, but also...
I am 100% holding my breath. I want this so much. Fingers crossed!
This one is super intriguing! What are they planning if Travis says we'll see the replayability of seasonal events later this year? Will they be included in Freelancer, or...?
Busy times ahead! 😀
Thoughts? Prayers? I'm pretty hyped (but I'm always hyped for Hitman)
(And I'm experiencing the worst second-hand embarrassment from the whiners in this thread... holy shit. If you can't take that, don't click the link to the full post lmao)