✞𝔯𝔢𝔧𝔢𝔠𝔱 𝔡𝔢𝔰𝔦𝔯𝔢✞

God I wish I could go back in time and be the person who cut peoples heads off with an axe

Why?

There’s something wrong with me

i’ve fucked guys i should’ve shot in the head

i’ve shot guys in the head i should’ve fucked

Declaring bankruptcy after buying 1 sandwich and 2 books

everyone get unemployed. i will provide for us.

I love how safe everyone in the comments feels about being entirely dependant on a potentially psychopathic benefactor 😁

im nice…..

He’s literally nice

often horror will ask the question “what if there was a strange man outside your door?” and my answer is Well i would not like that very much. real life is like this, too

Noooo dont burn and stick to the bottom of my pan youre so flavorful and essential to my cooking process haha

using blood to symbolise the strength of a bond is kind of ironic really because blood is one of the least loyal things there is. all you have to do is get a tiny cut in your skin and that shit starts gushing out like it was just waiting for a chance to escape. they call it a blood bond because it can't wait to abandon you.

"my own flesh and blood betrayed me" yeah they tend to do that