hurt

From hey to fuck off real quick

But fucking hell I never thought it would hurt this much

A few weeks ago, I went through a stage where I didn’t believe that anyone could ever love me due to the thought of me not loving myself, so I denied the fact that one of my best friends did. He tried for a while but I kept pushing him away, I thought it was the only way to keep my heart from breaking again. I knew he meant a lot to me, but I forced myself into believing my love for him wasn’t there. One night, I went to one of his games and it just clicked. The way he walks, the way he talks, the way I can’t stop smiling whenever he’s around and how he feels like home. I needed him then and there but I didn’t know how to say it to his face. I went home that night and I couldn’t wipe this stupid smile off my face, he was all I could think about. I messaged him and a few minutes into our conversation he told me he lost feelings. I felt like my heart shattered into a million fucking pieces and I knew I missed my chance and it killed me. I still told him how I felt and that I fucked up, but he told me he just wanted to be good friends. I think that’s the hardest part. How are you supposed to be friends with someone you’re in love with?