as requested by @ambitionbled (it wonโt let me tag you, sorry!)
โHow much have you had to drink?โ
โYou could have fucking alcohol poisoning!โ ย
โEasy, there. Try to sit up.โ
โI think I mightโve overdone it on the alcoholโฆโ
โWeโve got to go get your stomach pumped.โ
โI thought you said you were clean!โ
โYes, it is a big deal.โ
โLet me drive you home.โ
โYou are NOT driving like this!โ
โYou are gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow.โ
โDrinking until you puke is not normal.โ
โIs this real life?โย
โI want to go to sleep but I canโt find any sheep.โ
โHow do you show fish affection?โ
โTaco Bell is open 24 hours, right?โ
โTequila is not my friend? YOUโRE not my friend.โ
-glasses on head- โWhere did I put my glasses?โ
โHow do I tell my parents Iโm a mermaid?โย
โIโm not even tired.โ
โI should call my ex.โ
โIโm not drunk enough for this.โ
โDoes playing Mario Kart drunk count as drunk driving?โ
-hugging the floor- โIโm trying to stop the floor from spinning.โ
โCan we go out for fried chicken?โ
โWhatโs the fucking point anymore?โ
โScrew recovery. I want a drink.โ
โIโm too sober for this shit.โย
โI donโt give a shit what you think.โ
โI seriously donโt feel too good.โ
โI didnโt even have that much to drink.โ
โWill you stop fucking interrogating me?โ
โI can drive. Iโm fine.โ
โThereโs a reason I drink so much.โ
โYouโre the reason I drink so much.โ
โIโm only happy when Iโm drunk.โ
โYouโre cute, you know that?โย
โYou wanna get wasted?โ
โIโm bar-hopping tonight, wanna come?โ
โWhat are you drinking, and why arenโt you sharing?โ
โIโm having a party for two.โ
โIโm usually too chicken-shit to say this, butโฆI really like you.โ
โI donโt want to kiss you with your alcohol breath.โ