pure nirvana

🌺 •  ❝ not t’come to my own defense here or anythin’ , but would anything really be as great as the real etta ? i couldn’t even begin t’fathom …  ❞ to his credit , though , the grin painted across sun - freckled features did not so much as falter at her words as sulley continued to dance his way haphazardly around the potted plants and frayed carpets that littered his front porch , putting the golden retriever at his feet on high alert .  ❝ i could never dream a’ holdin’ a tune like that ,  but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a good time tryin’ , right ?  ❞ his smile turned fond as he spoke of the melody , ever the sentimental type .   ❝ well , unless i go ahead an’ switch the record , i do think all i could do was cry is gonna be comin’ up next . y’know — oh , i was losin’ the man i love , an’ all i could do was cry ! ❞ he paused , shaking his head slightly as he began to sing the lyrics to one song over the other .  ❝ but i was leanin’ toward a little bit of an album change here soon . ❞

“She really is a queen,” the redhead gave a small shrug, somewhat agreeing with his statement. She couldn’t help the smile that formed as she watched him, covering her mouth to hide the laughter that wanted to come out. “Imagine just being Etta and hearing all these people say how amazing she is. I just wonder if she was humble or got that strong diva confidence,” she thought out loud, speaking with her hands. “Oh, we can’t listen to that. I’ll end up sobbing like a baby. And I prefer to keep my makeup where it’s at.” Pausing for a moment, Nikki looked up at him. “Got any Fleetwood Mac?”

Ivy giggled this girl had a quick wit and she liked that, funny and clearly very intelligent. “That sounds like it comes from a hard place and whatever struggle you had to endure.. I am so sorry..” she replied quietly, unsure of what she could actually say

“I could always show you a couple groups if you want.. But I like the classics.. Fleetwood Mac, Dixie Chicks,  The Eagles, Lindsey Buckingham… like the list could go on.. And on” she laughed and waved a hand “Sorry. I get real passionate about music.. I think it’s the window into someones soul..” nodding in agreement to the woman’s point. “Oh trust me.. I think all modern music sounds the same thats why you feel like you already know it?”

She shrugged “I’m an assistant and it’s my job? You know like.. I enjoy it.. Most of the time.. Or you could get a fashion student? I’m sure they’d die for experience like that.. and then it’s less guilt more a .. .teaching? but she understood her point, she kinda hated Jason for all the crap he made her do.

“Oh.. Well lucky me..” Ivy smiled “But.. apart from work.. what else do you do?”

Hearing the other redhead’s words, Nikki paused for a moment, giving a small nod. “What doesn’t kill you make you stronger, right?” A small smile formed, hoping that it gave the woman a relaxed feel. Nikki wasn’t the type to be negative about her past. There was no point.

“Oh, Fleetwood Mac is one of the best. Rumors is one of my favorite albums of all time. So good,” she smiled as she danced in her spot for a small moment. “You like more of the seventies? Probably one of the best decades in music, in my opinion. I also love the sixties.” She couldn’t help the smile that stayed, nodding her head in agreement. “Right? I think I saw a video where five songs had the same beat. It was insane. I never realized that so many songs were so similar.”

“Do you feel used at times? I think that’s my biggest fear; someone feel like they are just being used. I don’t want them to think they just exist to sew a button or something stupid,” she pushed her lips to the side. 

“Um, I hike and I’m redoing my house. I bought a fixer upper and I didn’t realize how much of a fixer upper it was until I actually started to fix it up. How about you?”

“They’re super pretty, and they have an elegance to them.. Kinda like you..” she smirked and giggled “Oh thank you.. If my charm is clumsy, ditzy and says things the wrong way.. Let’s hope I can twist that in my favour so it comes off as adorable” she smiled 

“And I don’t think that’s a bad thing.. Your look is so unique.. I kinda look like I just walked into Forever 21.. Let it throw up on me.. And walked back out..” she laughed “Or maybe I’ve upgraded and it’s more like.. Betsy Johnson? I don’t know.. I just wear what makes me comfortable. .And I like it.. Besides. Who doesn’t love a little Forever 21 in their life..”  she shrugged “Well I like that you know Sadie so well.. It makes me confident.. When I put on an outfit. I just.. Feel like Sadie.. so thank you..” she gave Nikki a warm smile.  “Hoping … is a good thing.. You just gotta make sure it’s something you want?” she shrugged, Aspen always tried to stay positive. “I think go excited. And if you don’t like her.. Be honest?” she frowned. She hated that Nikki didn’t see how wonderful she was.  Nodding she grabbed the outfit and disappeared behind the screen once again. “So.. What do you want her to look like? What would be your… Ideal girl?” 

“Girl, you know I’m far from classy. I’m like the random weed in the bunch of roses,” she smiled as she gave the brunette a small nudge. “Hey, you shouldn’t complain. Your charm could just be being a dick, so really, you got lucky. Think of it that way,” she pointed at the woman.

“You do not. Forever 21 always has those weird quotes on their shirts or just one word. Who wants a shirt that says ‘vibe’ in the smallest font possible? It makes no sense to me,” a small rambled formed as she shook her head. “I saw one that looked cute, then the front said sushi and that completely ruined it.I love me some sushi, but I don’t need a shirt that says that.” Maybe she was picky. She liked more basics that can last, so maybe that wasn’t the right store for her, but it was still weird at times, nonetheless.

“That’s coming from someone that actually believes in hope. I lost the sense of hope a really long time ago. It’s not against it, but I don’t know. Maybe I just need to learn to start feeling that way again,” she gave a small sigh as she grabbed more pins to put in the outfits. “Oh, I am excited, but we’ll see if she is.”

“Well, I did swipe right. So she’s my type. Brunette, smart, hopefully able to hold a conversation. Someone that likes to have fun and not serious all the time. I just want someone chill, you know? I can just go and hang out instead of worrying about some formal date.”

“Nope, my shift is over, bye!” Macky said, a little bit aggressive as she dismissed her co-worker who was only there to ask a simple question. Her dislike towards her job has never been a secret but today she was extra cranky and that fucking stupid Cats movie was to blame. “I need to be in Silver Lake Meadows in twenty minutes, otherwise I am going miss Paris is Burning and if that happens, there will be blood.” @slchat​

“Wait, where is that showing? I need to see it,” the redhead looked over at Macky as she raised a brow. She heard about the movie being played in the area, but she had no clue where, leading her to hope that someone knew. With the brunette mentioning it, that gave Nikki the chance to ask. “I’ll go with you if you want. We’ll get you out of here fast.”

✿ - Sex headcanon

“Dude, I ran away from Pittsburgh to here. So, yes. I considered it. Did it. Loved it. Would do it again. 10/10”

A small nod at her confirmation, “I would hate for you to feel like you need to keep running. If it gets to that point will you reach out to me?” He folded his hands in his lap, “I understand we’ve just met but I’d like to be helpful where I can. You deserve to feel settled, everyone does.” He mused over this, “He’s a part of your history.” Just like Ralph’s parents were a part of his, “But he doesn’t define you. I know there’s so much more to you than him, of course there is. And whenever, if you ever, would like to share more about yourself with me I’d love to listen.”

He smiled at her apology, “I promise you won’t be struck down, it’s alright.” Listening to her speak he couldn’t help the twitch of a frown. Little annoyed – no – angered Ralph more than when children were treated badly. “Sometime else we can’t go back and change about your life but it’s made you who you are today. And I’m so happy you eventually found your people.” He settled back in his chair, “I like to think that my kids chose me. And that’s the greatest blessing.” There was nothing, literally, no living or physical or monetary thing in the entire world that Ralph loved more than his children. “If we were strong all the time we wouldn’t be human, would we? You’re allowed to just be Nikki. Whatever that means in the moment.”

Eyes stayed on him as he spoke, giving a small shrug. “I don’t know if I trust you that much yet. I know you’re a pastor or minister or whatever this Christian church names the person, I was raised Catholic. I don’t know the other terms as much. I just don’t trust people because for all I know, you’re going to go behind my back and give him more information. Nothing against you, but trust is gained and I need to believe that you would keep it between us.” Nikki tried to be nice about it, but she definitely probably was failing miserably. “Is there though? Cause I can go back home and I’m that daughter. I’m Michael’s child. I’m not Nikki. I’m his child. I’m not my own person there. And I don’t know if there really is much more to me than that.”

“Oh, trust me, swearing is the last thing that I would think would strike me down. I have way more up my sleeve for God to worry about,” she smiled, relaxing a little. “It sucks, but then there’s families that adopt those of us that are older and that’s important. My parents had me for a year and then decided to adopt me. I honestly couldn’t picture being apart of any other family. They are awesome. We still talk a lot, even though I’m three thousand miles away.” Thinking for a moment, she gave a soft shrug. “I don’t know what that means. So, how can I just be me when I don’t know what me is.”

Her bluntness was refreshing for Lana, at least - on a first date, the thing she hated most about meeting someone through an app was the way they acted one way on the first date and then you found out all the things they’d been, embellishing on the more you saw them, but it felt different with the red head, she was unapologetically herself. Lana liked that in a person. “Trust me I know. I’ve slept with doctors and they could still use a little map from time to time..” she smirked and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 

She listened, laughing at the image of her sitting in the woods huffing about being bored. “That does not sound like my kinda thing either.. So I don’t blame you.. But At least you can say it was an experience huh?” she asked and licked her lip. “Oh my god right? I always have some kinda sweet snack in my scrubs in case I get a second.. Usually like a chocolate bar or like, small pack of sweets I can pick on. Just for that sugar rush..”

Nikki clearly had her head screwed on and knew what she wanted from life which was a massive turn on for Lana, and sure maybe the date hadn’t started were she imagined it too, but everything happened for a reason, and she had no want to leave.  “Wow. Pretty awesome.. Like.. That’s a dream for a lot of designers? Am I right?” She didn’t know too much about the fashion world or the way it worked but it seemed like it must be. “I’ve seen the billboard around.. the red and white polka dot dress? Was that you?”  picking up her beer and taking a sip. She wanted to ask about the adopting thing but it felt too personal for right now.

“Well.. I was born and raised in New York by my dad.. He’s a neurosurgeon at New York Pres… I pretty much grew up in the hospital, spent a lot of my free time there.. I skipped a couple grades in middle school so I’m actually a really young third year resident I should only be starting my intern year but I guess I lucked out.” she laughed “I studied at Stanford College and Med School then went back to do my intern year in New York.. But it wasn’t working out.. working with my dad was a nightmare.. So we had a talk and a friend of his worked on the board of the local hospital a couple years back and offered me a place on the residency programme here so I took it., Fell in love with it and here I am..” she laughed and scratched the back of her neck. “I.. Live on Redcliffe Street. I like to play video games in my spare time which is pretty much never.. But I try, and I’m currently trying to get back into hiking.. I used to do it alot in college then stopped but a friend is making me fall in love with it again” she smiled as the two pizzas arrived and she looked at them. “So go on. What are they?”

“Never had a doctor. Had a few nurses and they were women, so they did pretty well. Wouldn’t say the best I ever had, but you gotta give and take, I guess,” she shrugged without much thought. It was probably something that she really shouldn’t talk about. Most people are turned off when it came to talking about sex. It was nice to see that this woman wasn’t completely turned off by it. She even spoke a little about it. “Guys can just be hopeless. They just want to meet their end and that’s it. We’re sometimes forgotten.” At least that’s how she felt, anyway.

“It was one of those times I wished we had a cell phone with a game. Cause back then we didn’t. I just stared at trees for three hours. And my dad didn’t even shoot anything, so it felt so pointless,” she shook her head in thought. She still doesn’t understand the point of it. “I always have to make sure I don’t have chocolate on my fingers before I touch the clothes. I’m just a messy person and I always have to watch what I eat so it doesn’t get on anything,” she admitted. There’s a reason she doesn’t wear white that much. It would be ruined before she even left the house.

“Yeah, well, most stylists prefer to style people, but I kind of like styling shows more because that’s a variety. Each character has such a variety that it gives me the creativity I like. I have one character that mainly wears red and pink and very fashion forward, then I have a character that is more grunge and wears leather jackets. It’s fun,” a smile formed on the redhead’s face. She was truly lucky to have the job she did. “Fashion and drawing really kept me sane when I was younger, so I’m happy I was able to use it and make a career of it.” Giving a nod to the dress reference, Nikki smiled. “Yeah, that was me. That’s probably the most well known outfit of the show. Which I kind of picked as a joke at first because I didn’t know they were truly serious about those two colors being her palette. So I chose that red dress to see how they reacted and now it’s basically the dress of the show.”

Listening to the woman’s backstory almost made Nikki hate her own. It seemed that her life was much different. Her own father was in prison and lord knows where the rest of her biological family is. They dropped off the earth the moment Nikki went to the system. She was thankful to be adopted into an amazing family, but it didn’t make things any easier. “So you kind of grew to love the medical field?” She gave a small tilt of the head as she took a drink. “My adopted mom was a pediatrician. She would tell a story from the day and it would make me even more nervous to go to the doctor. I’m a bit of a hypochondriac so that probably didn’t help as much,” a smile formed on her face. “I’m on Silverwood. I got a house and currently trying to renovate it. Kind of wanted to get a home and make it my own than one of those cookie cutters. But I love hiking. I try to do it at least every other day. I’m looking for a new place to hike because I’m starting to not get as excited now. It’s just the same thing a little too much.” 

Watching the man bring the food over, a smile formed on her face. “It’s a Greek pizza with spinach, feta and olives. Quite possibly the best pizza I’ve ever had. I love feta cheese, though. i’ll use it with anything.”

“Yellow. Ugh I love yellow.. Sunflowers are my favourite.. Which I know are flowers but they too are yellow.” she laughed “Sorry I’ve not had enough coffee yet today and my mind is like.. Not engaged..” she admitted with a little grin.

She listened, it was interesting that she got to wear such designer clothes whereas the others had more of a ‘normal style’ to them, then again she was supposed to be a major fashionista so it made sense. “Honestly. I love everything you give me, and if you could style my actual wardrobe.. I’d love you forever.” her head peaking round the screen so she could hand back the pink dress.

“Then.. Just be honest on the date and admit that.. Theres nothing wrong with being honest either..” she admitted and went back behind the screen and wrapping herself up in a robe because there wasn’t anything back there for her to try yet. “I think. Be positive but.. Also open? And honest? I think it’s the only way to be in the dating climate the way it is.. Otherwise it’s all mixed signals and they’re the worst..”

Aspen laughed as she walked around back to Nikki “So.. What do you want me to try on first?” she asked, and hummed the crystal idea sounded cool but.. “Don’t give yourself too much work okay?”

“I’ve always loved lilies. They are just so pretty and reminds me of spring,” she thought for a moment, giving a nod. “I had two cups and I still feel like a zombie, so don’t worry. It’s part of your charm.”

“Oh if I did your actual wardrobe, it would probably end up like my own. Doing the show’s wardrobe gives me the ability to do things I would never do. Like I don’t own a ton of pink or red, yet as soon as I see pink, I immediately go this fits Sadie. It’s something I would never wear, but I put it on the show like it’s nothing,” she smiled softly. She really was lucky when it came to her job. Even though she was definitely different compared to what the show was, it was nice to play with her imagination.

Giving a small sigh, she knew the brunette was right. Even though she hated to admit it. Staying silent for a moment as she situated items for the next outfit, she took a deep breath. “I’m a little too open. I think that’s my problem. I hope. And hoping leads to problems.” She let people in too easily and it showed when it came to dating. She gave people too much of a chance and she knew she was going to end up doing the exact same thing on this date as well.

Just do the plaid shirt and skirt for now,” she rubbed her lips as she took a drink of coffee. “I won’t. Let’s be real, I just sit at home and watch crime shows as I DIY.”

“Well I say.. Please teach me more sensai it looks like I have a lot to learn.” she smirked back and raised her coffee cup. “You seem to know your stuff, so I can’t deny it that I want you to teach me the ways of saying no.. It seems like you’ve got it down..”

Ivy laughed. “I guess you’re right.. It kinda does sound like that..” then she paused. “I love rock, a bit of folk.. the pop you mentioned.. They have to call it guilty pleasures for a reason right? Otherwise they don’t live up to their name sake..” she joked. “I’d like to think I was fun enough to hang out with, could say the same about yourself…” she smirked and tilted her head. 

She paused, listening to the girl “I mean. I am an assistant and the way you just spoke.. It sounds like you do.. Even if it’s just someone to go and collect fabric samples for you.. It might help? Or like the little annoying jobs you don’t wanna do? Glueing things? Rehemmings? That could be the assistant which then leaves you the time to focus on the big things. Besides don’t all these Hollywood shows have big budgets? I bet if you argued it you’d get it.. You don’t seem like the person others can say no to..” she admitted and licked her lip. 

“Can I just say.. You’re really pretty too.. And that’s not me hitting on you.. Despite playing for the softball team.. I just.. Know how to admire natural beauty.”

“I’ll do my best, young Palawan,” she smiled, bowing her head. “I learned at an early age to say no. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to,” she nodded. Her past was really something that was left to be desired.

“I’ve actually never really listened to folk much. I don’t really know who to listen to for that,” the redhead tilted her head in thought. She had a feeling she would like it, but would be completely lost on who to actually listen to. “Oh, I definitely am that person that hears a song at the bar, then has it in my head for the next week. Especially those songs literally everyone plays now. Bars really need to do a variety. It’s getting old to hear the same thing over and over again.”

Thinking for a moment, she pushed her lips to the side. She never really thought much about it. Normally, she just did it without thinking much, but now that the other redhead mentioned it, it did seem like a smart idea. “I don’t know. I would feel bad having someone do things for me. Feel a little guilty. Especially if they spend more time doing something than I do. I’m just not that type of person. But it does sound smart. Especially with a show where literally the style is the show.

A small smirk formed as she nodded a thank you to Ivy. “I mean, I go both ways. I always like to admire an attractive person like yourself.” Maybe she was the one flirting? It was a natural thing for her to do. It wasn’t something that Nikki was known to control.

Aspen laughed. “There is a whole lotta red and pink.. I do get excited when theres a touch of blue or purple somewhere..” she teased back, this was such an easy friendship, the way they could bounce off each other, and it was nice. Aspen was surrounded by a great supportive team and she felt incredibly lucky to have that.  “Please tell me you hit Funkytown thrift for half of the stuff because it is gorgeous..”

“Do you ever design for yourself? or do you keep that life for.. well.. work?” she asked curious as Nikki could be a closed book most of the time.

“Stop being so… negative  Nikki.. Come on you never know.. I mean even if she isn’t.. into girls, she may be up to trying? You’re a nice woman and anyone would be lucky to date you…” she was being incredibly sincere, Nikki was a good woman and she would be a brilliant girlfriend. “Let’s not think about the bad things and think about all the good things that could happen…”

Aspen laughed “I can’t even imagine going to any of those, but if I do you have to design for me..” holding out her pinkie. 

Nodding she quickly waddled off. “Could you put them on the rack whilst I get out of this?” she asked and slid behind the screen and began wriggling out of the dress.

“Right? Not gonna lie, me too. Obviously we need to keep it similar to the comics, so we use those colors, but it’s nice to throw in a blue or purple. I think I had a yellow outfit in mind, too, but I need to double check the scene before I actually decide on that,” she nodded in thought. She had a feeling it won’t work, but it was worth a shot. “Um, some. Most of your stuff is Miu Miu, Marc Jacobs and Alice and Olivia. But the other characters I can use more thrift store items. It’s hard for your character just because there’s such a certain style me and the other people have made for Sadie. But the others, I can actually use more easy to find things.”

“But at the same time, I don’t want her to tease me in a way. Like acting like she’s up for it and then deciding she’s not because that’s happened before and it sucked. I don’t want to be led on only to have that happen.” It was hard for Nikki to think that a straight girl would ever turn for her. It wasn’t common and she knew how people worked. It just never happened. “I guess. I should probably think positive, but I guess the nerves are taking over, you know? I start overthinking.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I will. I already have ideas. And they aren’t red or pink,” she smiled, using jazz hands for a moment. “Yeah, sure. I need to see some shoes with them too, because I’m indecisive, yet again,” she nodded, standing up to grab the outfits, putting the heels in front of each one. “I might customize the heels and add crystals to them to make them fit the character more, but if I don’t have to, that would be less to think about.”